Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Sci Fi: Contagion's Dragon Lady

The optimal time for full contagion countdown clicked with atomic precision.

Science Federation had been a long term brain trust for the people of the Northern Hemisphere. The SF had included in its arsenalpf survival tools guaranteed continuation of mankind's future.

SF's fifty year plan did seem ruskie enough, considering there were no Russians in the Federation. Not to say they didn't want in. Russian spies had tried everything to create a chasm in the operations at SF.

New Novel: Mafia Doctors

The private company had hired 5 new doctors in the northern mining town. It was expensive, considering the endless stream of income of the monopoly. (to be continued unless Sat Jan 31 09 11 am means anything...for Aunt J and the note precariously placed in the mid driveway this past Monday).

The doctors had learned the meaning of paying off OSAP. Dr. Mills knew it would be a 4 year commitment. "So what if I have to live in a dumbass mining town, at least this will give me a start to payoff my huge med school debt. How did you end up here Jones?" Mills enquired to the string-bean 20 something doctor. "Oh, I've been through the OSAP and student loan trap, and I found a sponsor to help pay my way out of this slime pit, it will be slam, bam thnakyou town, and then off to the big city where all great doctors belong!" Jones emphasized. "For sure Jones, I get your drift, we are in the same boat, metaphorically speaking". "Guess so, guess I just didnt see it that

Screaming Turtles

Invisible Screams
of a dark green turtle
in my dreams

Wet cold and crying
Let me go
or I will scream
like there is no

Screaming Turtles
you seem so rash
I just wanted to hold you
for a time
and a half

I wanted you to be my turtle
save and warm
but you like the watery muck
of your home by the lake

stay with me
Screaming Turtle
Don't leave me alone
Don't find me alone
To dream alone

Screaming Turtle
you make no sound
you look so intense
as your sound
into other worldly universes
conjuring trouble for me

Screaming turtle
why did you leave me
what did I do to make you
scream so silently?

jajo Jan 28 09

Cern Accelerator: Is It Safe: Alternative Proposals For CERN

Today I heard that there is a 15 percent chance that the Cern Accelerator in Switzerland could destroy the earth due to new math by prominent physicists.

If indeed there is this new information and the 5 billion dollar accelerator proton smasher is allowed to progress, and the earth is destroyed, it really is too late than to recalibrate.

It is my contention and proposal that the CERN accelerator could be used to help mankind, not only act as a "doomsday" machine.

If virus studies are important to mankind, and viral diseases are to be kept at bay, there is a way to do this at CERN.

Example: two viruses could be smashed or near smashed, so that their molecular energies are depolarized, making the virus basically ineffectual. This could be a life-saving study rather than life-destroying study for the project.

I understand the need to know the building blocks of the Universe. However, these building blocks could act like a dominoe effect once one is removed from it's precarious and unpretentious mantle.

Maybe the "new math" which has determined the pending dangers could be studied in depth before the odds are weighed to determine the safety and efficacy of the CERN project. It is my contention that there are more pending matters to study, with less life-threatening results. Let's study those needed priorities first. Thank-you!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Return To Groom Lake

This is an excerpt from my new novel; Return To Groom Lake Please purchase it by leaving your email on comments. Got to find the cure, folks!


Jane Jones
22 01 09


Looking at the BC sunset had stimulated my sensitivities as to the amazing mass of knowledge that was completely unknown and yet..just begun. There would be no stopping the entity now, a force to recogned with yet unrecognizable to anyone but the Groom Lake hybrids.

As a hybrid, I had the unique and completely uncomprehensible intuitive knowledge of the unknown worlds to come. It was the forceful need within me that gathered the material I would need to take it upon myself to help the
humanoid "race" from the diminished vanishing points on the 2012 event horizon line.
It was predetermined; the only one to help would be me, me and those strange rumblings of "call to action" within my deepest most inner being.

After years of chasing rainbows to far reaching lands, mystery and intrigue had been call to arms and calling card way of life I had stumbled upon. Don't tell this to anyone, but I really had no clue if you were to ask me point blank. "What do you mean" I am acting odd? Are YOU nuts? It was my logical core, my cerebral cortex and frontal lobe which pulsed with these impending desires, wants and needs. Indeed, the hybrid in me knew, the other half of me, this "entity" wanted "a piece of me", yet I was just a simple person outwardly, and deeply religious I knew the extent of my mortality having been shot years earlier and nearly dying in the process. In a way, I was reborn, and rebooted, a butterfly awakening from it's cocoon, Spring was my event horizon, the sunset would change to sunrise soon. "All the world and all that is in it" National Georgraphic photographers had tried to photograph that unknown, yet I knew it personally, the entity to be, was here and now!

Year of Our Lord 2000

"What do you think I should buy with the 4 grand from the government, Lannie?"
Lannie would often mutter something incomprehensive and turn over in bed. Today was different, a peep from the back bedroom. "Why don't you come back to bed, we'll talk about it in the morning. It's too damn early!". I retorted vehemently,"Yeah, yeah, I get it, you want me to come back to bed so you can sleep in peace while the entire world is waiting for Y2K. Dont you have any care about the future, Lannie?". "Lannie, Lannie?" Lannie knowing he was defeated from mere exhaustion at this time of day, fell fast asleep loud snores from sleep apnea kicking in. "Lannie, turn on your side, you're snoring again!" At least I knew something; nothing would stop me from finding the answers that were itching at my inner soul; no one, or should I say, no thing, especially not someone repeating "Boy oh Boy" in repetitious nasal communication. "lannie!!!! Shut up!!!!".

Yesterdays question was answered in partial format today. I knew what I had to do with the government surplus of a claw back before it was entirely clawed back like one huge claw. The Claw! hahah! Didn't my son get one of those monster trucks from the Grandparents in 1987? Wow, time is zipping by. Hardly enough time to zip the old zipper, and having boys, please oh so carefully! Women never had to worry, unless, like me, they gained a few pounds in that area from babymaking and usually, then it wasnt much of a scar, considering all the stretch marks left over from the pushing out the universe from the clam trap! Read Haida legends about the earth evolving from a giant clam and you will get my drift! Today I knew what I had to do! Purchase a computer at Reboots. It would be a day like no other. I am getting a brain today. Ladeedah! I felt so much like the scarecrow, I did a makebelieve pratfal..."We're OFF to see the Wizard...the Wonderful Wizard of All that and a bag of potatoe chips!

Groom Lake Dec 21 1999

After downloading as much as Area 51 from X-Files series, I knew exactly how Mulder and Scully felt; especially Scully. She knew, the importance of the place, without the uniform, she looked just like me. Civilian Unknown Entity. With this new information, with this new tool, a new brain, this doppleganger would be completely resolved. Like the monkeys from 2001, I had the monolith in the palm of my hand, or at least on a makeshift desk in my kitchen. I new the answers would soon congeal. The Truth Is Out There! "Yes Scully, it certainly is, and it is in here (pointing to my computer) and in here, too (pointing to my head). Yes, indeed!

"We're gonna party like its 1999", I popped in the Prince tape and started to sing words I remembered instanteously from the early 80's. Also remembered were those long forgotten New Years Parties, always a part of the scene, with it, you, know, on the ball! Since then, New Years meant I often got so skunked I couldnt remember why I walked out on that party years ago. Time stood still, really. That missing time machine, the uber missing time, long forgot now, a memory to be rebooted to understand the necessary future journey my life would be bound to take, soon, soon...patience...let it internal dialogue my intuitive emotive self was saying. My spidey sense, it was all there, it remembered, it never forgot; it was forever etched on those temples. Love certainly has a way of making itself known, especially against the unknown truths.

OMG, somebody help many years had to go by before I put it altogether and figured out that night? Nobody, NOBODY would believe me. I better keep it under my hat or risk the intrepreters rath. I had better watch out. Already my sanity had been questioned by those closest to me; "Isnt she always out of it?"
or the "What do you want out of Life, Gina?". Time had forgotten me. I felt I had better make it remember. Sinking in a wallow of unknowns was not going to be mankinds fate. Somebody has to find the answers! And fast! to be continued...please purchase RETURN TO GROOM LAKE

Gump Worsley is My Cat

Today my cat started playing hockey with me! Using a chestnut (oh THAT old chestnut) from my buffet (Baxter is not allowed on my buffet)...he grabbed it and started playing with it, bringing it to the kitchen from the buffet where it had sat in a dish of nuts left over from Xmas! cat Baxter IS Gump Worsley, the famous goalie from the Toronto Maple Leafs! OMG he is a goaly, keeping the acron away from my being able to get it past him and into the "zone" goal net under the kitchen cupboars where I sit on my computer...what a smart Gump Worlsey of a cat!!!

Viral Cures from Our Universal Understanding

If it is discovered one day that viruses come from deep condensed space, maybe from Complete or Partial Universal Condensity, then the energy maybe from the Mother Cell/Soul and a byproduct (baby) of this amoebic life force which guides (controls?) our Universes.

It was my conjecture, from a few years back and reported here (on the internet) that the Sun maybe the process which gives birth to these distant and condensed lifeforms called viruses.

It has been so difficult to find a cure for virus. Why? It is my conjecture from a few years ago that the solar activity (also may have something to do with Universal Condensation partial or complete by the MCS, in particular, sunspots activity have proven to be an activating force which produces (especially during abnormal sunspot activity these particular viruses that do devastate humans' systems.

Take this a step further. Let's say the process of Mother Cell Soul which amoebalike condenses from time to time our universes either patially or completely then the MCS may be also giving birth to these viruses (from may eons ago left from the last condensation). The only known thing left turns out to be a virus? omg!

Anyway, the only thing similar we have in common (besides life force) is the electron magnetic force. However, the virus is condense compacted like swiss cheese it goes through us and kills us (eats us) like the MSC amoeba.

The only cure, theefore for viruses, in my opinon is the intense switching of viral mitrchondrial energy systems back and forth from proton to neurtron (via electron nuclear fission/fusion machine...which would not irradicate the virus but make it impotent and thereby virus's usually are until they are activated from known sunspot activity or MSC activity. Think about it. Try it...if it works great...I wouldnt mind a few bucks from this cure. Thank-you very much! jajo 22 01 09

Good Ol' One Eye Universe Susan or Sam?

Probably good ol' one eye flips back and forth to the cellular reproduction of male/female/ positive/negative/neutron/proton/black/white/you get my drift/you dont get my drift. WTFC (WHO THE F CARES)....



Complete Universal Covergence versus Incomplete Universal Convergences: Continual or End Point Eventually?

If there is a Complete Universal Convergence does this mean it is continually recharging the universe ad infinitum, but eventually, too, this process will no longer exist and the Amoeba (MCS) will become inert or metamorph into another format?
The fact this is a universe of recharge energies, which seem to some degree now to constantly recharge one another from neg to pro and back again, makes one think; is there an end to this continual energy reboot system? pro/neg and back again forever? Eventually a new element must be made, and maybe this is the point in these multi fold convergences, we are making (our universes are making) new elements to promote this never ending energy to convergence and back again? IDK? jajo 22 jan 09

Negative/Positive Emotion Key to Proton/Neutron Activity

If we think of emotion purely as positive or negative events or processes of events than we may have proof this pro/neg event is happening at an intrinsic level. Can we explain why we pick up on negative/positive emotions then? We are sensing how the universe is unfolding. Maybe more negative means convergence to the opposite universe soon? If more depression cases exist, why? We cant all be experiencing negative forces? Our emotions maybe a response from the Universal convergence. We may have no known control (maybe synthetically for now) of this proton/neutron activity...? Inner/outer worlds converge and reformulate (or stay dormant or stay active or whatever due to processes not being known at this time)....proof may not exist in its entirity at this time. lots of unknowns....jajo 22 jan 09

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Proof MotherCellSoul (Unified Field) Collapses Universe(s)

The proof of the viral life form, an intense, condensed ElectroMagnetic energy life form in the Compression of D-X Universe, whereby X is unknown as is D at this point. However the existence of geometic (rather than cellular cicularity of form with the convergence formation between the neutron and proton. The additional virus entities with various levels of visibility proves the universe in denser in the centre and does produce energic life entities such as the virus. The virus may be a potentiator of the collapse of the universe since the entity can exist during certain energized systems such as the MCS condenses from time to time (when the convergence/collapse methods reach beyond MCS integrity of MCS has a unique cycle of events which is unknown to date.

In other words, the known Universe(s) collapes (condenses into a finite black hole within the centre of the universe which, from time to time (very lengthy)flipflops into a positron or neutron (positive/negative)electomagnetic activity at an intense level of dynamics undetermined at this time.

Once the MCS gives birth to another flipflop energic it feeds on this energic and inlarges in the dark matter. MCS is another form than dark matter. Dark Matter is condensed space left over from the condensing processing of implosion.

So the Universe implodes at times, creating an entire new Universe with more multiverses or in part or one or some of the multiverses. And then the MCS explodes as a cyclical death/rebirth process. Our bodies contain this MCS as does all viral and other energic forms of matter. It is K = constant which has been eluding astrophysics for a long time. This may conclude that MCS would represent the UFT (Unified Field Theory) as investigated, but not concluded by Albert Einstein at Princeton University.

jajo 21 Jan 09

How Sounds Emotionally Imprint on the MothercellSoul

Sounds have a profound influence on feelings. Why? How can a tuning fork in the Key of G create a feeling of calm? What has sound/music have anything to do with the EI of the MCS?

A. The MotherCellSoul must exist on some wave length in the Universe. The Key of G may indicate where exactly in the Universe we originated. If we continue on this premise, they we must assume that the MotherCellSoul is a repository/depository or library of all known sensory imput as recorded via the Emotional Imprint methodoloy (see previous article).

The MCS entity is One. It is Universal (all multiuniverses exist in One Cell, however the indidualization process we experience now is due to the nature of our place in the Universal design. Our placement in the Universe creates a multidimensional, multicellular (are continuing more multicellular with each passing moment) therefore the RNA has split from the DNA or like the Mitochondrial DNA are, perhaps, unique and individualized entities which at one time probably existed in singularity. The extreme multiplicity in our Universe is casual. It is caused from a continual fanning out of the split within the MotherCellSoul. The Universe continues expanding outward until it comes to a lapsing (folding) conclusion and T and S (Time and Space) converge and either it is a singular event (for one dimensional) or will be completely involving the entire multidimensionaly of our known Universe(s). The MOTHERCELLSOUL contains only the element of One. It is surrounding the multiplicity dimensional inner Universe like a cell wall. Amoeba-like the MCS expands with the expanding universe until it sqeezes it back to compression on One.

Mothercell Soul Imprinted via EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION

Emotional Expression is Mother Cell Imprinted on the Soul (Everlasting Love).

What is Emotional Expression, and why is so individualized yet shared universally?

A. Emotional Expression is the completed response to intial external stimuli and the
internalized emotional imprint on the ELS.

What is the Mother Cell exactly?

A. The Mother Cell (MC) is the original ovum cell which predetermined our inherent
genetic code, but it not entirely influenced by physical boundaries. Each cell
in the human has cellular memory and the possibility of the infinite. The DNA
and RNA are continually recording many external and internal emotional imprints.
The Mother Cell has a unique quality in that it's essence is One; the Cosmic
Universal Design and the MC operates similar to a one cell animal that does not
have individualization. It is the external stimuli and the internal stimuli (
Emotion Expressed which codes the Mother Cell's DNA and formulates the continuing
pattern found in the RNA. jajo to be continued

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Genesis of Emotion

Emotion is a key component of the human. Do we understand what emotion is and how it works in the human, what emotion's purpose, intent and drive? There are so many unanswered questions!

If soul is connected to emotion (many believe it is) than we have to commit to an understanding of emotion from roots to stem! Are humans still on the path to the spiritual connections via emotional growth potential?

When humans negate emotion, a multiplicity of negative events takes place on the external world. The inner world of the emotion is par with an understanding of all known knowledge, for it is the emotional intelligence which guides us through this world (and others) into the spiritual realms of being.

Emotional release is not often regarded today (except for laughter, but then contained and time-specifically approved)as something which should be eternally shown. It is ok to have these hidden emotions as long as they do not effect the overall status quo.

Our ancestors had the pyramid flipped upside down. The inverted pyramid design shows how the most important feature of the human, during tribal times, were the emotional vocabulary. How was this vocabulary formed. How did emotions (ROE)range of emotions contribute to the enrichment of the human spirit. How did the emotions react to spiritual enlightenment? (a study with various world gurus is considered here).

When we can categorize, cataloguize, and contain so imformation as to the importance of emotional realms then we have rich information as to the human's need to genetically code emotion. Or is it emotion codes genetic imformation?

We all recall how powerful events, with much "shock value" have effected our ability to remember events. We are told if we want to remember something, attach something memorable to it. Let's say if you want to remember the word

The Language of Emotion: Personal and Undiscovered

Today we are at a threshold of a new day; understanding to a better degree the range of human emotion. Called ROE or Range of Emotion, the investigational group ChipnLogs Inc has discovered a hidden gem within the nature of humans; untapped knowledge of the beast within; the nature of emotion.

Please join us on the journey to launch a thousand ships; a beginning voyage to that unknown land; the feeling self.

Enjoy the discovery and have fun!

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Face of Emotion Today: Range of Emotion Nomenclature

An investigation of emotional range would be incomplete without the definition of emotionality, how it is described during many modalities, authenticity of emotion, emotional mimicry, emotional dramatics, emotional truth, emotion as a way of understanding bodily, spiritual and mental function.

Definition of Emotionality (sampling)


acute pain: the description of pain as an emotion is basically very entwined with a soul reactive description and is usual not predictable. Various pain threshold methods will be described as well as levels as related to the various MBS (Mind Body Soul) description.

agoraphobia: descriptions to date have centered around the disease rather than the emotion in connection with the fear of open spaces. A complete rendering of charged emotions will be described once case studies can be issued. Agoraphobia is an intense emotion which deals with the fight or flight response, but has more of a feeling of fear with clastrophobic elements. Agoraphobia is a non-predictable event, although similar modalities are noted.

happiness: describing happiness as pertaining to emotional description is basically similar to the standard description, yet various levels of happiness will be fully described as per case study modalities, and individualization of the happiness emotion.

shyness: description of shyness as it pertains to the emotions experienced with shyness. Various levels and gut emotional reactions will be described in more detail.

Integration of Three Feeling Modalities: Mind, Body, and Spirit

The integration of the three modalities of emotive feeling modalities can be best described in three areas in the human. The Body, Mind and Spirit each contribute to the entire convergence of the three emotive modalities, or a combination of one or 2 integrated emotive modalities. For example; a person will feel cold. Is this a body feeling or a spiritual emotive feeling?

List of described Emotive Reactions:

Mind Emotive = ME
Body Emotive = BE
Spirit Emotive = SE


Mind/Body Emotive = MBE
Body/Spirit Emotive = BSE
Mind/Spirt Emotive = MSE

SPIRIT/Spirit Emotive = MBSC

Truth In Feeling: Does It Exist and Why

When we say we are "intuitive" we understand that we have synthesized "all there is to synthesize" to come up with a gestalt or concluding set of understanding the world and all that is in it. Can we "lie" about feelings? Yes we can. Lying about feelings happens in the human animal on a daily if not hourly basis. Feelings as they are felt at the moment, are the truth in feelings. Feelings, no matter how horrible, how ugly, need to be expressed IN THE MOMENT so that the person does not hid the negative or become "Passive-Agressive" in personality.

But personality cannot change? According to Freud and others, the personality is set in stone and only manipulated not changed. It is my feeling that we believe the personality is set in stone because we have put up fences keeping "us" in and "them" out. According to psychedelic research phenomena, this is just not the case. The perssonality is the personality of the universe, it is fluid, as water, ever changing, rearranging the furniture. How do I look as a "kind" individual or a "mean" individual. How I can manipulate that "insecurity" to become more "bold" and be able to go on the stage. Our personalities are a really a set of givens. We have a certain way of talking, a certain way of speaking, a certain way of doing whatever. However, we really can change and adapt to that change similar to plastic surgery.

For example, I could go under the knife today and not look anything like my previous self (extreme makeover). However, would this mean that my personal appearance IS my personality? No. It is not my personality my appearance. My appearance is a COMPONENT of my personality, and an outer COMPONENT at that, not really intrinsic, very shallow a component!

So then, if I wanted to change a COMPONENT of my personality, let's say, my negative attitude I have towards going on stage, I would REARRANGE PERSONALITY COMPONENTS to make the stage business more palatable. Other features of personalities can be changed to the point where the original GESTALTS OF PERSONALITIES are COMPLETELY removed or changed. Does this mean, I will still resort to my old stage fright given traumatic reboot sessions and therefore my DEFAULT PERSONALITY MODE is what I am and can NEVER change? Good question!

How did our personalities get set in stone anyway? Is the beginning so important? The mother egg cell? The mother egg cell is not motile? Not moveable? An immovable feast? An immovable feat. Hey, everything else in the universe is under CONSTANT CHANGE so why not THE PERSONALITY. Can anyone name anything else in this world that is so unchangeable AS THE PERSONALITY, intrinsically speaking? So then, our personalities are UNCHANGEABLE because they are our SOULS which, as we all know are, NEVERCHANGING AND NEVERMOVING ETERNAL DESIGN? WOWSA, LET'S examine this a little bit more closely...especially the part about the soul being unchangeable...

According to the Church our souls are CHANGEABLE. We can change our pattern of sin and thus sin no more and save our souls from THE HELL HEAP. Ok you think I am using religiousity and I am limited in this thought. You may be right. We are programmed into thinking a certain way, but this may be for our survival so dont throw religion (any kind) out with the bath water (just yet!).

Emotions Need to Be Understood...How?

When someone says "I feel sad" how do we know, exactly, what that means to the individual? Likewise, when someone says "I love you", what does that mean? Does it mean "friendship love", surface good feelings or deep, intrinsic feelings of spiritual love. In other words, there are such extreme RANGE OF EMOTIONS that it is difficult to conceive of the exact understanding of that word "Love" (or other words and there meaning" unless we have a basic skill set for understanding emotion as it relates to the collective human animosa.

Emotive Reality: What Is It? Does It Exist?

Emotive Reality: What Is It? Does It Exist?

There is a reality for humans other than the tactile senses. The emotive/empathic response in the human is definitely tied into the hormone bio/chem response and does evolve, perhaps, from this defining reality.

However, hormones and biochemical studies aside, the human has adapted a set of various emotions to understand the world similar to the 5 senses. All of the 5 senses do contribute to the intactive emotive response in the individual.

My first study is to do a case study of my own personal emotions as they occur on a daily basis. My focus will be on how I feel and why. I will not attempt to "dramatize" events for an interesting case study/story! Rather I am looking at gauging depth of emotion or lack of depth of emotion primarily. The levels of emotional response will be graphed to see if emotional response variables are affected by environment, inherent internal properties, latent/intuitive stimuli, etc.

Once I have gauged by individual emotive (not recall as they occur) responses, I will understand, for one month, whether or not, hormones, or lack thereof could be a contributing factor to emotional response. Also, this may be later proved by blood hormone level testing in a lab. At this point it is a dictionary! Here goes!

Day One

Time: 9:02 am

Right now I am feeling tired, my nose is stuffy, which makes me feel itchy. My eyes feel red. It was hot in the bedroom. I need to sleep in a cold room. I feel "lymphy" not sure why, maybe overactive something or other. I assume my lymphy is caused from an overactive immune system. NOt sure why. Not sure if I feel this study is going to work. It may be a flop. I have my doubts (feeling). Somewhat negative. But will try to feel positive. I feel I must accomplish something in my life or I am a dismal flop (wonder where I got this feeling from?). Feeling hopeful, and will continue to strout that feeling. It takes work to be happy! It doesnt happen naturally when there are so many negatives in my environment, or at least, it may be, the way "I look at the negatives". Could feelings be manipulated to change said negative and would this be lying to myself, or deluding myself for health reasons. Let's go with truth in feeling, I have to learn to trust my feelings, no matter WHERE THE FEELINGS ARE COMING FROM. Got to map where feelings (or where I feel) feelings are originating on said subject.

Each hour will post feelings. ja jo 19 jan 09

Proposal: Cognitive Research on the meaning and purpose of The Emotive and Empathic of Human Emotion/Feeling

Cognitive Research on the meaning and purpose of The Emotive and Empathic of Human Emotion/Feeling

This is a comprehensive, indepth proposal to describe in detail the immense range of human emotion and emorions contributioning to the human condtion. A series of tests will be conducted using humans as test subjects. Emotios will be gauged, catalogued, described by various methods for their authenticity and emotive response variables. Various belle curve interative modes will be presented, such variables as age, sex, minority grouping,psychological categories, etc to determine emotions as they relate to various environmental and internal stimuli. For all intents and purposes each test will be interactive with each other and will create a subject-dependent test which is more of a case study than simply graphing method indices.

The inherent need to study as per psychological study the way multiple variansts of human emotion are described as feelings of all kinds is indicated. The depth of said feeling(s) is critical to understanding of various conditions like autism, for example. Without an useful understand or a dictionary of emotion it is difficult to render conclusions about the indivdual variants of emotive reaction and the grading of and understanding of the empathetic emotive variables.

Those who feel emotions deeply do feel these emotions deeply for a specific reason; feelings have a connecting source and are grounded to the individual, such as a fingerprint. Some feelings are shared collectively, these emotions will also be studied.

Various degrees of emotive feelings "types" should not be so easily dismissed by the psychological community as "ill" or malajusted or maladaptive individuals. Contrarily, emotive humans have much more indepth or intuitive skills and are able to converge the two brains to recreate the whole human as per the way of human design. In other words, emotions are key/critical to a complete understanding of the human "animal" and yet, the definitions of emotion to date, are paltry at best.

Feelings have been, for far too long, easily dismissed, not investigated to any degree at all. There is no independent research focusing on human emotion as value mode. Not until the humanist studies (as per Rogers, Maslow, Abrahms, et al) have Psychologists created a safe haven for this very important research of emotion. Much more research is needed to understand feelings as they are a decisive communication tool and pertainent in all areas of the Humanities.

An Emotive Dictionary (interactive tool) has been proposed to allow others a greater reference and cognitive source for the range of human emotion as it is felt by the individual. This Emotive Dictionary will describe, in various modes, the scope of human emotion as close as possible to the unique emotional of each individual. Similar to a bliss board human emotion of the individual will be much more described and understood in various sensory techniques used to stimulate in the observer the subject(s) emotive response(s).

The need to understand various emotive levels and range of emotion and the various, reasons, latent feelings, precognitive emotions, individual specific formulations of emotion, etc, will be assimilated in this study. To make visual references, phonetic references, tactile references, and other references will simulate emotive reality in the observer. A similar understanding to this methodology is to look at the immensity of a herb garden. The levels and degrees of emotion are referenced to other sensory stimuli to configure the unknown variables of emotion to tactile sourcing. Emotions are the ingredients which flavour the human soul. Without feelings a human subject is a mere machine. The negatation of feelings creates an intellectual vacuum, it has only been recently that "emotional intelligence" has been studied to any degree. This proposal will help enrich our experience of emotion as it pertains to the human subject.

JaJo 19 Jan 09

. Feelings will be further studied to determine feelings authenticity or psuedo-authenticity and the reason(s) for these variables in the human subject. (possible future animal study) studied feelings dominant or are subjectated in the human subject.

This study will involve variations in sex, age, minority, etc for a full range of understanding of the emotive in the human condition. This study will lead to a fuller understanding of the intricasies of emotive feeling in the human as it relates to various like relationships, job performance, personal fufillment and growth, emotions as emotively portrayed or systemically

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Feelings Are they More Real Than Logic?

How much faith do we place in logic versus feelings or vice versa? It is possible that we place equals amounts and weigh all stimuli equally, both logical input and feeling input. If so, how does Love play into the equation?
Love is without question a feeling. Robots do not Love. Love is also difficult to measure as are many emotions and feelings.
How would one tempt to understand love in they are the non-emotive type? How would one experience Love if they suffered from unknown form of autism?
Watching others love may be one way. Those who are autistic can learn much from emotion of others, how other react. But the autistic child or person does not feel Love, well not in the conventional sense of Love.
What is the conventional way of feeling Love?
Traditionally love is expressed in a deep feeling for someone that transcends time and space. This is defining Love. Love is not easily defined, ask any Ronamce poet.
So how, exactly can a nerdy man learn to really, truly love his wife or gf, significant other?
Love...let's go to the poets for this one. Emily Barett Browning...Love is not boastful, Love is kind, etc...or Saint Francis of Asissi...make me a channel of your Love, where there is hate, let me show kindness...etc. Yes, we recall and reread these essential lessons because they are important to us to have a deeper experience on the Love Plane.(Is that near Soul Train?)...
Love Love Love...All You Need Is Love McCartney/Lennon...I still remember the Grade 4 Valentine from Joe Conolley with those words written to me on it. Obviously McCartney/Lennon knew from love, as do most of the ardent Knights of the Round Table.
If any description can be given, then Love certainly would be a heart within a circle. This is a safe place, Love. It is a kind place. It is a giving place. It is a needing place. It is our destiny to Love. Why?
Love is the essence of our Soul. It is what gives us our human personality. Some logical people could feel that Love is merely instinctual. Love to the autistic man is a face in a crowd, knowing that face and loving that face. It is a personal imprint, an identifying mark, Love is a memory which cannot die.
How can Love not die? How can Love withstand Time, Hate, Evil, etc., etc.? Love is eternal because it is the imprint on our Soul. When we share our Love with another we are giving a "piece of me (or you") to another. It is this mutual interplay of soul-communication which describes love on the one constant in the Universe - Love.
If a person negates emotions because they feel they are not a positive feature of being human, they are not allowing the world's best form of communication to exist. When does one fall out of Love? We never fall out of Love. Once Love exists, it is there permanently, therefore, may all your relationships understand this.
If we give in to Love, are we weak? Sometimes we are weak when we give because we are vulnerable. If we deny Love, we may gain in other areas, but our souls (unless there is a misconnect happening)will suffer. We sometimes cannot Love another because of a relationship that remains unresolved, unrequitted, unfufilled.
We want to fly higher and higher in Love yet earth's gravity contains us. We are devasted when Love fails to continue with our Loves. We feel cheated. We feel there is an emptiness in a world, and actual heart-pain which defies explaination.
What if one Loved another but the other did not Love back?
This is a very sad case of unrequitted Love. When we are deceived into thinking another Loves us but does not Love in the manner or scope or completely, there are lost feelings.
How does one Love completely? It is not difficult to give oneself over to the emotion of Love. It is similar to a river flowing through two people. The energies converge, the seed is planted. Sometimes the seed was never meant to be planted and there was just a casual relationship. If one person thinks they are Loved and gives back Love, this could be a case of "Alienation of Feelings". I believe this is an old US law, not sure how or why it came into existence, but the feeling is that once Love exists it should stay with those people "until death do you part" or "forever" which ever comes first! As you can tell, Love is complex and not easily described or dispenced. Love can exists in many forms. Which form is your Love? How does Love change from Friendship type of Love to Romantic Love which supposedly "never dies". Do you understand where I am coming from? (pardon the dangling participle).
Love should last. If it doesn't, clearly the reason must be clearly stated, otherwise the spirit of Love will not leave another and would stay forelorn, waiting in the desert of waiting, forever blistering under the hot embers of the sun. Pining away until death. Not a pretty picture, and not fair to the jilted lover.
Jilted or Deceived? Who would ever deceive another at Love. What cold cold heart would do that? Who would knowingly put this hurt upon another? It is with absolute certainy I can say, this person does not feel Love, not ever. I feel sorry for this person. Either they have rejected completely emotions, or they are completely unable to feel this emotion. They may too, have been playing the power game control by fooling a person into loving them because they want to hurt another, or they are getting money or power from this said destruction of another. Whatever the reason, a person whom lies about loving another is a shallow and debase person. They do not deserve the time of day. Stop playing with my heart...should be told to the player and let the player continue their games, on somebody else!
Oh yes that person who did sue was the husband of McPherson, herself spiritual. I guess it is a matter of focus. Even a religious person can be lacking the emotion of love, either it is negligent (does not exist) by proxy (feelings never existed) or by hurt (ipsofacto). These emotions need to be understood. It really does effect our lives in so many ways.

Miss Haversham Complex

Waiting in worn, yellow bridegown
Miss Haversham
Aged winkled and pruned
Waiting for her lover
Never to return

Stood up at the altar
of Love
Waiting Became Love
In the Desert of Never
Why did she not give up?

The fool groom-to-be
left the poor woman
to die
a worse death
One without love

As put on permanent hold
the bride that day
passions reigned
queen for a day

but he loved me!
it must be a mistake
he'll come back!
I must wait for him!

Hours passed to days
days to months
months to years
years to decades
without return
Love's Labour Lost

Tis the season
to change that dress again
passions-fire the world's asunder
all consuming knowing
Miss Haversham
Alight with Fire

Passion consumed her
It could not wait
that knowing moment
when with Love's Desire
All a fire

The flames died out
as did Miss Haversham
The world of Love
She did not give up
her embers burn still

Jan 18 09

Prune Juice, Vitamin C and an ANSWER SOON?

Writers may need prune juice when stuck in writerly ruts. Vit C is being extolled on the radio today. But 5,000 mg of powered Vit C a day seems so exorbitant! Isn't acidosis a problem at that level? Unless all the acid is taken out, similar to Ester C, I dont know. The way this Dr. Pinkus was describing Vit C is such amounts to cure EVERYTHING from soup to nuts.
We all want to stumble upon the instant heaven. We want the dream to be set on hold and last forever. We dont want to forget our first time, or forget that really, what are we waking up too, shared destruction? Shouldn't life be more of the the Creative Kundalini forces than the Brahman forces. Yes, I know life is full circle, that everything, good and bad is suppose to balance out. So this means, by this statement, "balance out of good and bad, etc" the duality of life, makes us live in Limbo. I am sure there is a way to tweak this balance of life's wheel into a more successful ratio and maybe (this may not be legal by life's balancing methods)create a world with less negative and more positive. You just know, like the shifting poles, it will one day "flipflop", but in the meantime, things will be ok.
It gets difficult waking in the morning. The dreams hold me back, take me places, wonderful places, heaven in my dream world. Although I do have the nightmare around that time of what was once my time of month, but now I am not sure what to call it. Stop month...slow death onset? How do I handle this next phase in my life? Certainly I am not getting up early for no good reason to wonder why here. It must be something I have to say, and fast, because I feel my "time" is running out. Well, time here, anyway.
Take it or leave it, we really do share an awful lot of similarities, possibily more than differences. We are so alike. By very slight degrees of separation our worlds. It gives me reason to believe we are more connected than we think. You know this to be true from your causal studies. You did cross that bridge when you got to it, you've looked at "both sides now", and have seen the cosmic egg, so what did you think of it? Any recall now of these spiritula "ouevres" would be most kind. I think you could have hidden information you are not telling me. That's your perogative to remain silent. There is peace in silence. This may be the balance I need to my world full of light, love and possibilities.
We cage ourselves, wall ourselves up, defend our "self" fortress. We dont let other's in to our world, hidden, alone we lie dormant. We become life's doormat. We take on the side of our brain which halts creativity. We need to open up to the other world dreams and try to recreate that fantasy world here for all to benefit.
If we did not believe in dreams (I don't mean the one about Keith Richard either), by dreams I mean, our wish-fufillment, our longings, the way we want the world to be, the way we want our lives to unfurl, create, setup, design. We need this. We need creative input. We all need creative input and each one of us to feel like stars. Not just for a day but for ALWAYS.
You cannot keep you design trigger finger on the throttle of love's design without having an input. Obviously, it takes a great deal of love to have lasted this long. It may be that there is more intrinsic things happening besides the obvious. Undercurrents of predestiny. Or just piddling happenstance? Tripping over things I must admit, I have a skill at that, but I'd really rather have had much more a say as to my destiny; the way I would have wanted life to go, and how it should be.
It takes a great deal of struggle and prethought and determination and design and arranging and coordinating and DELIBERATE CONSCIOUSNESS to create a world that we really want to live in.
First, it should be a place we can call home. Where we feel comfortable, not threatened, at peace with outselves and others. The world we want to inhabit should be powerful because it must use the minds of many positive thinkers to make it work.
It has to have purpose, intent, success.
Purpose? In chaos how can life have purpose, and what kind of purpose? Who's purpose?
Your purpose? My purpose? Our purpose?
We must get rid of "they" thinking? No closed doors. We are all one big happy brain feeding the cosmic consious world and recreating life by our projections of thought. Some are obviously better at this than others.
We really have to work on Purpose. The purpose for our lives. The purpose in our being, individually and collectively. We must assume we have a purpose. Let's find it. Step One;


Outline what your purpose is

Is it; Spiritual?


Is it Physical?


Is it Mental?


Is it all of the above? How? and to how are each purposes balanced? 33.3% each?

It is wonderful to have this time with you. I always said I wanted to write to you, back then. Do you remember this? Do I remember more than you? YOu meant and mean more to me than I ever did to you. Maybe this means I am more spiritually fufilled because I FEEL MORE and SENSE MORE or DIFFERENTLY than you. You cannot understand this. Unless we lied to one another our feelings must be as we said they were, and this gives credence to the possibility that you did and do care what happens. Not only to me, but to your world, to everyone's shared realities. Although each reality is different the similarities are strikingly similar.
Why was I isolated from your heart? What made you feel I was not "worthy" of your love? Not evenly matched, not perfected? What? Be honest. What makes you say I couldnt be all that and a bag of potato chips? What sidelined my career? Does this give you a good and powerful feeling, like god? Wouldnt that be just the opposite? You had to shun me? This just doesnt make sense, sorry. I really did not know you, no I did not. I just thought I did. How, did I go so wrong?
That carrot before you must have made you leave me, look other directions. I must have been a joke. A trade off? A replaced part? How did the human EVER get so relegated? You created the disconnect so you could be with a better other? Oh my, I will never understand this, and it makes me much more harm man does to man (or man to woman) than anything else. Unconditional love should ot play favourites. What was the orginal intent in the "woo" and dump? Is this the "one night stand" mentality of a thousand million? Is this the concept-driven machine? Even beavers have more of a loving nature than man. They know love, as do muskrats and other lesser forms of life. Why is this?
Being dumped emotionally is one thing, and the hardest thing that has ever happened to me because it shook my world, made me feel "inefficient", "unloved", "vacant". It was a shock to not have the emotional feedback I needed. It created in me a vacuum, a lonely place which will never be filled. When you love and do not receive that which you give for years you begin to question your being; whether or not you are ok and will ever be loved in the way you should be.
But this forever love thing is so Victorian. It rarely exists today. People are so greedy and carrot focused on the greener pasture. Without improving the love for love cost. It is expensive and the most valuable thing we have as human beings. You may think differently. This is probably why we are not together.
Would I go back to a place where my entire world was turned upside down? Where I questioned whether I was good enough to love? Where there was emptiness, loneliness, defeat?
Probably! Just to find out how stupid I had been and why. I dont know if people can change. If events present them to make people do this or that. I doubt that. I wanted so much more for you. I believed (and still do) in you. You are everything to me. I dont want you to loose that feeling, those feelings that I thought you had but were not, (maybe?). I just dont know who set you up for the love sting. It seemed not a natural thing. This is why I am freaked out today. I really don't know what to nelieve, if I was totally deceived; you are evil!Giving false love is like a false prophet, the enemy's bidding. Why did you sell your soul?
I am sorry if I made you feel today. But maybe this is just what you need. If ever there is a time, I hope you could tell me what the score. Toying with people is cruel and heartless. It is not fair. I had given my all only to say (metaphorically speaking) that my all was not good enough, that I was not deserving. I could have been told why and to be let down gradually, or with thought and intent. There was none of this only cruel treatment. I do not believe to this day that I deserved this.
Do you know understand why I have come back into your life? I want to close the door on the raw feelings I have bottled up inside for so many years. The pain, the hurt, the broken dreams. I was so easily dismissed dispensed, and ultimately, in my opinion, soul-destroyed. It is a sad and lonely place and I want remedy. I want to be told the reasons why I was not loved. Why I was a laughing stock. What made me the enemy to this socio-political agenda destruction? How many people get destroyed in this way. Who organizes it? And why?
Because of the lies I would never be able to love you, unless you say why and you are sorry and maybe...just maybe, the hurt would turn to love. It seems sort of S and M though, and I am not into that. Only true love. So maybe it wouldn't work out. I wish it would have back then. wasnt suppose to be...BUT DARN IT...WHY???I am expecting an answer soon.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Triggers of Emotion and Serious Pet Peeves

The breaking point. It happens when the expected expectations are not giving birth to the world we want. We all want to make the world a better place, is this not true. Better for all. This seems a huge feat. Definitely something we want to render, but we keep getting stuck in ruts. All our energies and goals and dreams extinquished because something seems to be "halting, stopping, thwarting, diverting, etc" our much needed success to make this life all worthwhile.

Do we have high expectations or low expectations for your life. How came some just sit back and watch it all unfold in a crappy way? How or what do you want to do with your life? Have you given up because of 2012, or is it 2013? Really that is just plain dumb. Where there is life there is hope. Don't give up!

I know people struggle today, not only financially, but emotionally, spiritually as well. Do we allow bad things to happen to us or do they just happen? Dr. Wayne Dyer said that if you take the last 8 minutes or so of your day before you fall asleep to think of positive things, then you will, by this action, positively produce a better world. Remember we make our world by our thinking it into existence. Everything we have ever made has started out as an IDEA first. Saying this, it is then with certainy I can expound upon the next fact; we make our world what it is; WE MAKE OUR REALITY, both individually and collectively. Please let's work on this, by thinking about human potential worlds before bed. Thank-you!

Really the control got way out of control this I do agree. However, I am not sure if all was "chaotic" before we developed a control of chaos. Chaos probably is just misunderstood. Given a bad rap. When we think of chaos we are immediately brought back to Get Smart tv show with Don Adams (now a movie with Steve Carrell, etc). So Chaos seems sinister to me. It is "non-conformity" "non-control" and maybe even "red commi" haha! Yes, our perceptions do make our reality and how easily those perceptions are imprinted and often wrongly so, and this is due to the fact the brain wants answers and it wants answers "now". The need to know is greater than the wait for the truth. And we have paid bitterly for this lack of patience and misinformation. Many wars and lives are lost because we cannot adequately communicate needs, methods and internal truths. In other words, we do not relate very well as humans. There is a disconnect, a misunderstanding and lack of emotional sharing of souls. What is happening here?

Could we find time to take the time to examine truths of ourselves and other. Can meaningful and real dialogue be opened up to all to freely discuss issues without fear or threat? We must be aware that differences make us richer, and should not be killing us. We can arrive at a happy medium, or we can improve and bring each other up to a higher understanding and purpose. We can communicate our many frustrations and come out on top, powerfully attuned to the Universe. Leg's be open to this universe and all that is in it (to quote National Geographic theme). cr gigiwhit

Being Spiritually Molested By Bad Music All The Time

Subsequently I knew this topic would grab bar your attention! haha! Oh my goshen! It really is that, I dont like the crap in my face. How to change rearrange the picture. I want out. I want a new kinder version reality. Doesnt Microsoft have that yet? Man...I need a holiday...crap!

Devastating Time Re-Evolving Self

What happens when we are stuck in the creative rut or the author's "dry spell"? How can we reboot that and come out the other end with something which is satisfactory to the ever-expanding creative desires of the soul?

What changes our souls? What makes us abandon that which we thought were? Do you have a self-image? Most do, some don't. Do artists have a self-image. Most do. Because they have to use that image to "sell" their art. To promote their art "product".

What if the "self" of the artist is shook up to the point of the artist questioning to a large degree "who they are"? The self-examination seems like a control mechanism, and unlike the artist, somewhat limiting an artist's concept of "self".
The art product is really the

It is like this; I hate doing dishes. I loathe doing dishes! It is a necessary thing to do, if I want to eat the next meal, but it is so damn time consuming. It takes me away from what I want to really do, write, create, think about my next visual experience, and whatever other joyous things I love to do. But you know it is sweat equity. All this "pain" brings gain. We are refined in the furnace. Our sweat labour promotes further refinement. Really? How? How does my doing dishes make me a better artist?

Well for one thing, I get to think about art when I am doing dishes unless I am multi-tasking, or multi-braining, thinking of too-too much at once. Then that is just OVERLOAD! Perhaps that is what happened to me, when I let myself become too vulnerable to excess stimuli. The gurus idea of "no thyself" means deny the multi-sensory for the internal sensory to exist. The 3 hr tour in the am. is all good, as is the lingering bath with closed eyes and aromatherapy. I am a big nose person. I think I could make zillions smelling fish. I dont know if this is genetic, but I certainly know the power of a good nose. It just makes me think, maybe my senses are just too good, and make things so overloaded as to crash, weaken, desensitize.
Let's face it, the human can only handle so much then the SHOCK effect take effect.
It isnt pretty to see a human coming down from overload. It is not the way it should be, life needs more or less fine tuning, and the individual knows what's best for the best personal fufillment. No wonder. How could I give you anything when I had nothing left to give after being overloaded with sensitory stimuli of unknown worlds. Maybe the otherworldly worlds would be too much for our unit design. Maybe those worlds need to slowly open, refinedly so by those skilled in the Opening the Doors of Perception (got to read that Adolf Huxley book).

You never jump through hoops for me! Well when you provide the means and the ends as an artist you are kind of short-changed because you give more than you take. You can give and give and give til you are blue in the face and nobody will appreciate it until it is taken away. Thus the plight of the mothering instinct. I have to do this, I have to do that. We are our "what we think we are and have to dos". What if I just didnt do what I normally do each day. As a provider I would get arrested. I have a serious job to do, that is not recognized or commensurated in anyway whatsoever. Especially that "taken for granted" feeling I get so often. Crap! When can I say what I am, mean what I say and be who I am without the feeling I am swamped with resposnibility beyond my control. Basically I must find time to find my self again. You can give endlessly to others who do not care, and do not want to help you when that time arrives. It is all overwhelming. I need to step off this train. I need help, someone to take away the burden of being a machine. I need to feel that what I do has meaning, purpose and that I can actually change negative events into positive events. So far, without help, this is impossible. Help is not out there in the way I want it to be, so this will mean I will have to be proactive AND MAKE GOOD THINGS HAPPEN if it kills me! Damn!

can we control the Creative Process?

Control is not very creative. Control is limiting. Creativity is UNLIMITED. We dont want to fool ourselves, CREATIVITY is borrowed from our INTERNAL CREATOR. Yes, we carry the LIFE FORCE CREATOR, that eternal entity (God) within us, to barf forward all that within. All that we have known, all those memories, known and unknown.

BF? Bring Forward, Barf Forward, you know, regurgitate. We regurg all that we are, all that we learn, all that we want, need, etc. We got to get it out, we got to let it flow, and IT wants OUT. All that we are and keep within eventually will OUT. That creative thing. We want to get it out of our beings for some reason. We just don't sit on it. Sit on it! haha!

Sitting on it, or Control, is like being constipated. Our bodies want to eliminate old product. We want to continue...and discard. We are refining ourselves. What we want to refine, creatively, we have that ability. We get to choose between AN INFINITE AMOUNT OF POSSIBLE VARIABLES what we want to create or have and hold if only momentary as in a Brief History of Time. All too briefly, considering the dimentional dynamics of deep space. It is huge out there, isn't it, yet it isnt big enough to explain how similar everything is, how we have all these synchronicities happening (studying this see my articles of Synchronicity), similarities, sharing, and again those many 6 degrees of seperation which make us all experience a similar construct or gestalt or collective unconscious. You see an apple similar to me. I may experience from my perspective and experience that apple a slightly bit different. But that is ok! We need those variations of sameness (the apple) in order to appreciate the expanding universe and the various pathways to the inifinite. Does this make sense?

The Created Are The Creators Now

Internal dynamcis and outward thrust of those creative forces of the original (was there EVER a beginning) concerns me. We The Created are The Creators NOW!
Our destiny is to create (or believe we create unless all predetermined). Pathways. Rivers. Estuaries. Left or Right. Directional. So direction is really the CREATIVE force...the impetus, THE ENERGY OF THE CREATIVE DIRECTION by the DIRECTOR GOD.

Oh vey, this is mind-boggling. Let's just go with the flow. Sometimes I feel I just HAVE TO CREATE? Is THIS a causal from STATIC QUO? Things to samey make me feel homey-stuck in a rut. AND bored! BORED? REAL CREATIVE ARTISTS DONT GET BORED 'cause they know how the methods of CREATIVE IMPETUS OR CREATIVE LIFE FORCE to flow into the next stream needed for FULL CREATIVE EXPRESSION?



Maybe...hold onto that thought for a moment. How long can we hold onto anything. But you do believe there is a constant, somewhere in the Universe, and this constant could be...?God! This is just my rutting, I can only say I cant change what I am INTRINSICALLY, OR CAN i?

HMMMMMMMM. MORE on this later....

Reality Is It Real If It Is Manipulated by Creative Artists

You know I am going to, as far as possible, tell the truth. The bear face facts. Not going to pretty them up, unless I have that power to recreate reality in the way I WANT IT TO GO (I guess I do).


At this point I would have to ask; am I doing anybody any good. If Artists are gods then they must be accountable to the denizens of masses they will effect eventually and into the future, with all the add-on conditions associated with that manipulation. It is not much different from a new discover by an inventor. Artists must somehow say either "my art if it effects your reality, take a bromo because I am not signing ANY WAIVERS!

Artists can. Certainly can. Change the basics. The way the REALITY pattern was set up. Changing REALITY into other than that for the greater good. But Artists are basically NOT MORALISTS or CARE-ISTS, I mean, let's get real, most art is not a thought process it is a feeling process. Take all BEAUX ARTS, I mean good art, well good to me. It is very emotive of emotion (duh). Yes, it is, it conveys the artist's (and artists) inner sanctum, and without fanfare of self-doubt and held-back creative so that morales can discern whether or not this ART HAS IMPACT on the reality and future RENDERINGS of human's world. Collective Unconscious too may effect this big picture by the artist dipping painted surfaces and their meanings.
This will be another topic later as I see I am OFF TOPIC....

So we can perfect reality to a point. But then again, isn't reality something we should leave alone?
Theoretically, what is cannot change intrinsically. What we, as artists are toying with is the "plastic means", and probably the plastic means are not that meaningful as far as THE BIG PICTURE is concerned. Do you know how an artist could toy with the "plastic means of creativity" to create a new world to the point of over-riding reality. Wow...that means reality is not set in stone, not really. But how can this be proven. We think things are as they are. And we might even think we change things, how then will we or when will we understand and know the difference? It is very convulted right now for me to conceive. Early morning as it is right now.
Theoretical, not conclusive....back in a to grab a coffee for hub in back room. (I told him no buggy til after is me time to write...damn it!)...but I understand coffee is good for you...after I have my prayer juice (yes I pray the Lord's Prayer while drinking my first drink in a.m. It sets the day up right and I have yet to do this...let's see if this will help the reality to go the way it should go..proceeding along those paths of righteousness(yikes what if this doesnt help) but I found it most certainly does, connecting with the infinite powers that be...I do believe in those powers, some may not, as they say in French "Viva La Difference!"....soon more...give me a break...5 for 50 ale (too early!)...thanks!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

testing systems for Democracy

You use test systems, protocols, etc? Why not for democracy? How could these be implemented? Are they sustainable? Is democracy sustainable?

Certainly I have existed in places were mob rule worked over the "freedom of the indidual". Where the individual was so destroyed, debunked and demolished as to to leave nothing left at all. Devastating destructive mode of mob rule. Surprise I am alived to talk about it? Me too.

It is amazing how it happened. The demoralizing first. Making the person shunned by rumour, insult, jeers, leers and gossip. It didnt take long for the rumour mill to start churning Catherine's wheel. The martrydom of myself continued and I became more convicted of my goal and destiny to find those hidden gems of truth hidden within our beloved govenmentally procedure. Victimization is not a fun game for the victimized. It seems the social shunning, the manipulation of events, the utter deception is allowed to flourish without anyone defending truth or individual rights.
Mob scenes are not pretty, and have way too much influence in our democratic lives.
Gossip thank goshen is outlawed in some businesses. No watercooler talk. Say something nice about someone or forget it. Negativity can and will destroy us all.

Do something nice today. Do not tolerate lies spread about people. This gossip is made to politisize a person usually for social or monetary gain by the gossipee. Negative words (gossip) about a person can really cause a ripcord of dissent and spiralling out of control destruction. I just don't know how anyone can think good can come from bad talk about someone.

Truth on the other hand says "just the facts, mam". I hope that after all is said and done, I will not be manipulated politically anymore. Seriously, I am really "once bit, twice shy" it will be difficult to trust strangers. It will be difficult to trust persons who deceived me. Some people have such a cold cold heart, they were hurt and now hurt others destroying other's innocence too. And for what purpose? To make politically deceive others for gain.
One remedy for this venom? Realtime webcams without the ability to change the image. Proof of Innocence for the innocent. No lapse, no tampering with the image.
someday, truth will indeed prevail and justice will promote it. How can ever believe anything I am told again...devastatingly...unbelievable! But remediable!

Alert DO SOMETHING ABOUT Slime Molds In the Atmospheric Environment

We should report more often how we feel and when there are slime molds in my sink...Looks just like...slime from the movie Ghostbusters! Except clear not green (thank gosh)...what about reporting ill? Who would know? If this is a biochem attack or not? What if you have a migraine, or you are so dizzy or would w know for sure, orif disease is deliberate, the high incidence of cancer? Could this also be biochem? If oil lead is destroying minds, breains, souls? If we are LOST? tHEY KNOWS IT WE DONT? hUH? wHO GIVES them the damn authority???shit i thought it was humans are number one all rest it is huh? we are first individual entities are we not???. I feel devastated. I feel ripped off. Either by myself orAre you an did I get that moniker? (clinton did joke for morale,do you have any of that left?)lITTLE EXPENSIVE FOR A Jar of Goji juice..are yousaying all juice will be in glass by 2012. If the near miss asteroids dont get us first? Damn!My proirties ARE ALL WRONG..HELP ME PLEASE!!!

Memories of Buffalo Field Trip

Beside the excellent Buffalo wings, what to say? Albright-Knox Museum...modern art. Buffalo snow, art class field trip, some drove Jaguars, not jealous of the nouveau riche, no, they have oil money! Certainly well connected. How can I connect to make something? Dreams of hanging in the Albright Knox is not at all like you think. It maybe just the women artists, now represented have something to say. Do you know what it is? 51 percent of the swing vote must mean SOMETHING! Compartmentalized renderings of the paradigm, I forget names now...oh it will come to me...certainly...Louise...oh....ahhhhhh. crap. why cant I get back there to Buffalo and do some good, visually speaking, and authenticate existence as all good artists do....

Socio-Political Agendas: What they are; How they operate

Looking back on life now, at this middle age threshold, gives me a "big picture" of how the Socio-Political agenda's operating systems. This information is a beginning proposal of future theses describing the social-political agendas witnessed, living in Canada.

In The Beginning

When we are born into this world we take on the political "roles" of our parents. Even though democracy is not suppose to have "classes" there are most definitely class struggles in Canada. Democracy's ideal of removing the various constrictions within class dynamics is greatly short-shrift when it comes down to the practical side, for all intents and purposes, of deining democracy in Canada.

For example; if born in the fifties, a baby boomer has very high expectations initially of how the democratic nation will unhold the individual rights over the mass subjectation. However, ouce the democratic citizen notices infective social conformity the intelligent democratic subject begins to question the basics; why are there so many contradictions to the tenets, of fitting into a set regulation of "what came before". The genesis of regenesis must be strong in Canada because everywhere there is the dynamic of "you are what your parents are or were". Being described socially this way does create a democratic social vacuum.

Already a major tenet of democracy is removed from the constantly questioning moral conscious because "we are suppose to have a class-free society" in our Country not the other way around. The foundational gestalt concrete has been laid, we can no longer believe a system which can not produce the goods; the Mission Statement of this democratic nation in unteneably and unpaltably questioned. How can this be? Why are these contradictions imbedded existing in a "free" state, country, province, such as Canada? These questions will be examined and to some extent, answered as best as possible considering the answers are never answered to any degree of logical consequence by authority patently hired to do just that.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Life As We Know It Nearly Created in Lab reprint Yahoo

Something tweaked the RNA...?Enzymes only? Proteins later...hmmmm....

Life As We Know It Nearly Created in Lab
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Digg Facebook Newsvine Reddit StumbleUpon Technorati Yahoo! Bookmarks Print Robert Roy Britt
Editorial Director robert Roy Britt
editorial Director – Sun Jan 11, 9:55 pm ETOne of life's greatest mysteries is how it began. Scientists have pinned it down to roughly this:

Some chemical reactions occurred about 4 billion years ago - perhaps in a primordial tidal soup or maybe with help of volcanoes or possibly at the bottom of the sea or between the mica sheets - to create biology.

Now scientists have created something in the lab that is tantalizingly close to what might have happened. It's not life, they stress, but it certainly gives the science community a whole new data set to chew on.

The researchers, at the Scripps Research Institute, created molecules that self-replicate and even evolve and compete to win or lose. If that sounds exactly like life, read on to learn the controversial and thin distinction.

Know your RNA

To understand the remarkable breakthrough, detailed Jan. 8 in the early online edition of the journal Science, you have to know a little about molecules called RNA and DNA.

DNA is the software of life, the molecules that pack all the genetic information of a cell. DNA and the genes within it are where mutations occur, enabling changes that create new species.

RNA is the close cousin to DNA. More accurately, RNA is thought to be a primitive ancestor of DNA. RNA can't run a life form on its own, but 4 billion years ago it might have been on the verge of creating life, just needing some chemical fix to make the leap. In today's world, RNA is dependent on DNA for performing its roles, which include coding for proteins.

If RNA is in fact the ancestor to DNA, then scientists have figured they could get RNA to replicate itself in a lab without the help of any proteins or other cellular machinery. Easy to say, hard to do.

But that's exactly what the Scripps researchers did. Then things went surprisingly further.


Specifically, the researchers synthesized RNA enzymes that can replicate themselves without the help of any proteins or other cellular components, and the process proceeds indefinitely. "Immortalized" RNA, they call it, at least within the limited conditions of a laboratory.

More significantly, the scientists then mixed different RNA enzymes that had replicated, along with some of the raw material they were working with, and let them compete in what's sure to be the next big hit: "Survivor: Test Tube."

Remarkably, they bred.

And now and then, one of these survivors would screw up, binding with some other bit of raw material it hadn't been using. Hmm. That's exactly what life forms do ...

When these mutations occurred, "the resulting recombinant enzymes also were capable of sustained replication, with the most fit replicators growing in number to dominate the mixture," the scientists report.

The "creatures" - wait, we can't call them that! - evolved, with some "species" winning out.

"It kind of blew me away," said team member Tracey Lincoln of the Scripps Research Institute, who is working on her Ph.D. "What we have is non-living, but we've been able to show that it has some life-like properties, and that was extremely interesting."


Knocking on life's door

Lincoln's advisor, professor Gerald Joyce, reiterated that while the self-replicating RNA enzyme systems share certain characteristics of life, they are not life as we know it.

"What we've found could be relevant to how life begins, at that key moment when Darwinian evolution starts," Joyce said in a statement.

Joyce's restraint, clear also on an NPR report of the finding, has to be appreciated. He allows that some scientists familiar with the work have argued that this is life. Another scientist said that what the researchers did is equivalent to recreating a scenario that might have led to the origin of life.

Joyce insists he and Lincoln have not created life: "We're knocking on that door," he says, "but of course we haven't achieved that."

Only when a system is developed in the lab that has the capability of evolving novel functions on its own can it be properly called life, Joyce said. In short, the molecules in Joyce's lab can't evolve any totally new tricks, he said.

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St. Ignace's Winds continued (edit5)

soap and candle companies
6 billion
light years ago
making more light than years
6 billion bucks a year profit
money begetting money
Relinquished Notes Acquistions
Up and Away
Downward now
never ending spiral
bridging earth's
staircase to heaven's infinite
eternal regenesis program

are these antimonopoly
monopoly laws?

if monopoly's strategy
were simplified
we'd all be riche rich ragmen
unless the rules change
to make us dirt farmers again

to get a foot in the door
watch for broken toes
after all those bone-calcium depleting drugs
taken to keep babies at bay
make hubby happy
worse than a stubbed toe
broken in two probably 4
you'd have to tape those up
with pencils and duct tape

got to make dinner
or clean the house
house"wife" stuff
why don't I get paid for this?

of course
you know it is not what you know
but who you know
and they like you

plus being a yes person helps
even then it is only once
you get to say no
these rules get ruthless
without the reality of truth
The Guiding Light
diminishes to fade to black

Aren't all these actors
The Actor's Studio
portraying cruel rich
powerful men
in real time, real life

Bet ya
have never seen a nice Patriarch
in the gangster movies?
unless they go crazy at Xmas
or near death
makes them give away their all

compounded shackles and unilateral power
comfounding the masses
with power's abrupt change of heart
making a remarkable
360 bridge the gap
sophisticated engineering
brocaded Jordache jeans
as the needled camel
goes through eye holes
on the West Bank
they have redeemed themselves!

of Truth
We are either
Mean Ol' Men
of Means
Commoners Pinched
Often women
Monopolized and
Controlled Chaos'
Unknown Design
to date

In Some Way
Probably not fairly so
Done nonetheless with extreme
You can't see the
hiding the gaping wound

whenever i watch soapoperas
the old man thinks they are brainwash tools
his ex watched them all the time
remember nonetheless
Days of Our Lives
that Darn Hourglass
henpecking spinster men state by
voice over
"Like grains of sands our lives.."
only now I want to stop those sands
as a youth I liked to watch them deplete
for 40 plus years,
the egg timer
didnt remind me
my eggs ran out

It strikes me odd
the Generational Thing
Remembering my Grandmother
having dinner at noon and then
Watching each day at 1 pm
musty satin Naval pillows from
the 40's
seems sometimes nothing changes
when I watch soapoperas
comforted by
continued sameness
of hearth and home

now I'm a
Generation Boomer
Generation X
my progeny
now "The Lost Generation"
How do they know they are actually lost?
Who told them they were LOST?
Who or Whom made them LOST?

We need to question things
the hidden things
very important
lurking lurches
launches lunch
underneath it all
i still love perogies and onions
done to carmelized

To an understanding
our product placement
repeat "OUR"
sounds like Hour
repeat how long most
Soap Operas?
an HOUR!!!
What is with the Hour
Thanks George Strombopolis...whatever Can/Greek dude
hope Howie Mandel's ok!

Why does everything take an Hour for humans?
tick tick tick...
those grains of sand
Witch of Oz
You Evil Witch
or made to be that way
by program design?

Down On The Farm
No selection these three channels
now i have rogers high speed bundles
and have become more of a video junky
I love the Classic Movies on TSN
Seems these dead actors
Have Much to Say
Lessons Compressed
Wounds to Bind
Hopefully to Heal
(doubt it)
From Life Leftovers
Like Life, leftover
from the strains, sprains
of our tattered existence
Immortalized Wisdom
Passed Down
the Bob's Boob Tube RNA
you remember?
Bob's My Uncle!

No propaganda there at all, not always
there is a time to do this and that
a season for this n that
This is true
Biblical Psalms
Why dont I want to admit
my season
is changing
to the
All Seasons Channel
ASC Hiawatha
hopefully not

Soap Mummies sleep deep
and Ancient Tribal Burial Secrets
Such Practices
Awaken the Dead
Pop Art tribe actors
backyard geneology
Hoopla dancers
sound loud
Gossip Hounds
Love to Learn
from the Chief
Let's do lunch!

Synchronicity Rings My Bell
ding a ling ding
oh my goshen
my galoshes are all wet!

talk about coincidence!
can you imagine that
a man named Whitley
started Hollywood?
Get this...
Virginia "GiGi" was his wife
I have a cat called GiGi
GiGi was a 1958 movie
something special to that
I took my name "Whitley" psuedo-deliCALi
quite accidentally (there are no accidents!)

more on this Whitley the man (maybe I was him in another life?)
I will call Dr. Goldstein...hold on...past life regressionist on the line
or maybe I'll call Hans Christian King, or Sylvia Browne...maybe someone who
Who to Call?
Get this...
Whitley the man buried in Chatham Ontario
right next to his nemesis Tecumseh?
How did he get to fight in a war and start Hollywood? huh?
It was the War of 1812
Tecumseh battling endlessly besides,
somebody didnt tell me about my grandma's roots
not even grandma
small pox wiped them out
the blob finished the job
Chief buried with Whitley in
related hometown
Fergie Jenkins
Judy LaMarsh (a block from my auntie)
synchronicity with sublime intent
proximity maybe
by beginning and ending
resting place
for hypers on two

On Canadian actors
time for name dropping
yes I did see Graham Greene drive by here
Wow, eh
David Carradine(he's not Canadian but I'd make him, anyday)
watched him every Saturday morning
Got to meet Power Ranger (the White One)
Jason Frank
and have signed autographs to prove it!

California is close up
Tory Spellings-McDermott
got her belly print here
and then
Jack Warner lived a block from
my Grandmother
with Lost In Space lady
June Lockhart an Antler River lady
of course
Paul Haggis' sister in my Gr 8 class
Jennie Jones's mom made
my sister's wedding dress
Up close and personal with the stars
Cab Calloway
Got to shake the hand of this great man
and Scottie
He kissed me at the Convention!
Man...that's almost as close as almost
getting to get an autograph of
Soupy Sales
5 mins late Soupy you should have
ed, I met Honest Ed!
Toronto in the 60's
tucked Jackie Pillon into bed
There really is no end to stellar
talk about your 6 degrees of seperation
My name should be "Near Miss"!

Hollywood seems so near
yet so far
the stars
But the Truth IS out There
Groom Lake?
Dr. from Detroit?
This I do know for sure!
Close encounter in 75
Hybrid days
Martin Michigan
(are THOSE indians TOO?)

yes, yes
loved Kung Fu the Movie
David looked like a clone
of my old boyfriend
how does this happen
magic in real time
and all those!
some good dreamin' to do
can Hollywood magic really happen
(it did for me, thanks!)
or is it all lights and mirrors
Good question!
You too are a STAR!

walking on Holy Stomping Ground
in the Woodland Deep
Hiawatha Sunset over there
and up there
Turtle Island
Christian Island
Huron Worshipping Rock
Heaven's Gate
huge cave centipedes
that creep into
your basement during the day
by the bay
Remanents of Petun's pipes
And Gerrod's Ancient
Woodland People
moved to

Ancient, very ancient
shale trilobite fossils
450 million years old
walking shadow ghosts
more alive than dead
for their age

once accepted by matriarchial chiefs
thanks Chief Stone
Some Good Ol' Boys have other plans
for me I know
I saw them pointing
and fawning
handing over keys to others
rather than me
some good old boys club i say
maybe not..what?
dont hate me because I am beautiful
hate me for some reason other than
not sure why
let's keep it that way
i dont want to see you nude
behind that curtain of power

the power swagger as sway says
we like you, we dont like her
or we dont like you we like her
selection process
fitness test
hmmmmm....braun or brain
that old chestnut

Women still do not have the
democratic representation
required by law
you'll see Good Ol' Boys
Saying Who does this n that

Encourage mens agenda only
poor Major Bigelow
Stuffy, clubby
empty is
not a full life
for women of substance

no wonder i feel so screwed
demeaned and debased
men do not understand
woman's perspective at all

mason "men" dont like
lone wolf woman
the witch with a brain
or the individual cry
for retributive justice
taking away personal power
for their own power lord control
for honest government
is really
the pinnacle of democracy's
We aren't there yet

i thought george bush
may have some native blood,
the Bushes orginally from Michigan
and Charleton Heston
Gerald Ford
all from Michigan
i think there is something to this
Ted Nugent?

also I get the deeded interest
in native pacts
trade spouses like spices
prearranged brides bequeathed
a blood pact
power pacts
What spirit do they want to keep alive?

north american politics
can attribute many democracy systems
to the native roots of this land
ancient greece
like Jesus and the Mormons
appearing here and there
at the same time?
again how synchronicity makes things appear
almost exactly at the same place and time
Somewhere In Time
it is getting clear
this truth is coming into focus
more evidence needed to verify

i was amazed to hear that on aptn
i love northern exposure
and the waltons
and Guiding Light or As The World Turns

i keep thinking (maybe wrongly no doubt)
that there is something to this
that i understand
big business by watching soap operas
and old movies

are we explaining our culture this way
via media historical or real time
what is this
a way to connect the dotty
find "true"
feelings,(maybe desired feelings)
or ideas or ideals promoted
which gets us use to
as they happen similar to dreams
when we dream of some nightmare
maybe we are creating a mock scenario
so we dont die from heart attack
if that play should play real to real
track these events
they may be significant in understanding
the human animal as
we think we think
but we may be on

usually a year behind events
never forward thinking events
i mean they are just now
a gay relationship portrayed

what about politics in tv
i mean
what will we expect now
the feed
will be left
to Obama
will he be
more open

or continue power crazed
man's monopoly games
hold onto the money
channelled up and away
because eventually power
lets go unpredictably like
st ignace's winds

jan 13 09

Sea Shell City Spatulas; LUCY YA HAVE SOME 'SPLAININ' TO DO...

On the creative ideas (past emotional hurts are backshelved today aren't you glad?)of Spatula City and Seashell City! What a remarkable thing, to find a creative "Hoola Hoop" of an idea striking you when you are bored to death of travelling on the endless Michigan roads of "nothing happening".
Today I have found an unusual interest in the pickled baby shark jars found at SeaShell City (it is closed at Traverse City MI for the season). HOwever, I cannot forget how much inspiration that bottled baby shark in a jar brought my son.
Now that I remember my odd fascination with the macabre oddities of the sea, I am recalling my fascination with those brain corals, whales teeth, and sea dollars as well as sea anemones. Man, how cool! How absolutely amazing these creatures of the sea, plus, they are now illegal to purchase and so when you have one, don't sell it on ebay.
I mean how much more fascinating to have the genuine article! A prototype specimen. It gave me to thinking about spermology, or what the heck, arent sperms eggs?
Look...running out of eggs or the Mother Cells makes me remember something. Why aren't sperms eggs? Why cant we call guys sperms eggs? They are like eggs arent they? If they arent, what are they?
I just dont get it.
Back to the Hoola Hoop.
You mean they could be something in the universe other than the beginning mother egg? OMG!
So back to Seashell City...for a moment.
Isnt there a Cross on a Hill, this HUGE mofo Cross? And wasnt it called...OMG it is beautiful! And I felt that area was really fascinating.
Have you been through a place only to sense something within that connects you to it, like a deja vu feeling?
Ok maybe I am talking...Somewhere In Time, that excellent cult flick with Chris Reeves and Dr. Quinn (Jane Seymour). That is MaKinaw Island (sp please). Do you know that is the original TURTLE ISLAND???Holy crap I found Hiawatha (no, that is Green Doors entry UP Michigan)
I will always remember the smell of Turkey sage dressing when I recall this area. It was some subway joint at St Ignace or around Grayling, when I recall that cold fall day Turkey soup.
Or the time all our money went flying out of the trunk at St. Ignace in one of those vertigo convergences of those Great Lakes Circle Tours. Man that was odd.
And there are so many unexplained things happening there, all the way up and past Lake Superior...
I met an ASTRONAUT at Rossport, Ontario. It was so cool. And we found that miles long Fungus too. Wasnt that in an episode of XFiles? NOt to sound too erie, but yes, Erieau also plays into this travelog discovery.
Those painted rockfaces (Pletroglyphs) sp again please of Agawa Canyon...that odd Twilight during the "Three Hour Tour" through Lake Superior Provincial Park makes one feel there is an awful odd glitch that needs to be questioned...but never answered by the odd doctors that frequent these time/space glitches of places. Another story or two here...
Ok just what is the scoop? The best ice cream on Manitoulin Island (where the natives bury their dead and Hiawatha where the deer woodland ppl marry) and where there is a lot of yellow ribbons and missing ppl (sure ppl just go missing with todays gps and real time webcams EVERYWHERE)...SO WHAT really is going on here in the UNEXPLAINED terror tory? far removed from EVERYDAY life as we knew it but know now it isnt exactly the way as explained, once the thought coil removed from the back of the brain (ty MATRIX).
Jan 13 09

Monday, January 12, 2009

Happy New Years Dessert

You can make yourself happy
even with a broken heart
you have repaired with duct tape
I'll tell you how!

First make a good gutteral laugh
i laughed at the sad attempt
to make banana bread without flour
and used left over Christmas Rice Krispies

Noticing the Red and Green Rice Krispies
my guest commented
what are the red and green things
in this banana bread stuffing
This cracked me up and
like any 50 year old woman
Betsy Wetsy
Couldn't stop laughing

Jan 12 09

Ejecting Rejection

Everytime we were rejected
told we were not loved
or felt we were alone
and therefore unloved

We would remember
what happened to us
what happens to us
is the big picture
we have no contol
only an assembly of chaos
created by whom

trying to create a life
out of what we were/are
mirror viewrear
we have come
full circle
into this sphere
we have here

i knew i was all that
only to be told i wasnt
not to be that destiny dream
artificial artiface
fronted by another's plan for me
artificial constructs
made with the tribe's consent
woebegone place
for the lone
foot soldier

Today I have regained an understanding
of all that went before
the dreams, schemes and flying machines
of a thousand nights errant
people of pull
those managers all
consented to remove
a piece of me
piece by piece
for some reason
i was a disgrace

Or there was another in the wings
that held the place
of high esteem
the bride of frankenstein
a monster herself
looks inward
at scars
that won't disappear

the fray is behind me now
i know now how
all these things were made to work
like mr big's clockwork
not so positively (i thought)
for me
but maybe the need
was greater than the want
and I wanted to need you

questions remain
(they always will)
as to the reasons
of rejection
i have my theories
of rejection
i wouldn't have done that to you
of rejection
i didn't leave
of rejection
say it ain't so
you do love me still
and you always will
this i do know

Just wish i could get back
my broken heart
once the lies are believed

Jan 12 09

Resolving Rejection

There isn't too much left
when all that was to be
thrown away
without regard
to feelings of self

Such high expectations
To plummet to the depths
of despair

You're not wanted
You're not loved
You're not good enough
You're not pretty enough
You're not smart enough
You're not well connected enough

Then why was I ok
for so many years
not to be told
you dont really love me
much sooner
than never

the slam in the face
came from not understanding
true feelings
being deceived
for what reason
to destroy
how ruthless the cold cold heart

honesty honestly
tell tale heart
what makes you feel so confident today
knowing how you broke my heart
years ago

honesty was a vacant
as ed is now dead
who was it, really
makes us or breaks us
rejections deception
love's game for gain?

is that snake
that ruins reputations
still slithering here
destroying lives
values and virtues
crashes egos
for political purposes only

Sunday, January 11, 2009

No Self Like Brain Drain

Diminished Seconds
Music Theory
Unravel Time Coils
On the Metronome
Watching Sounds Tick Tock
While Life Like A Snake
hisses and rattles away

there where there is
No Self
Left on the half-life Shelf
To pass the time
expiry date unknown

Solataire gamers play

Left overs for Right Handed
The Moralizers Bread
Condemned Love of Self
Sinful Right Brain Banished

Logic's Cool Calculations
Asking The Creative Right Brain
Left cold-hearted folds of dura mater
depersonalized Spiritmover
Hidden Within Jell-O Covered layers
not known
The Person Who's Skull
Held by Hamlet
the dead bones of the junk yard dog
now Not To BE
was once To Be
The Two Brains
Settled by
The Corpus Collosum's

separating realities
goey gray matter
slimy fluid -filled brain curls
sea corals
coiled folded estuaries
Delta Phi Kappa of the Sea
Returned to Conquer
Gray slimy fish worms
with electric zeal

No Self
reduced the self
Left Brain
Is All That's Left

Right Brain
Big and Buldging
Pain of a Brain
Hammering out Suckling Sickles
3D Ideas
in Multidimensional Universes
Full of Brain Dead Masses
Waiting for Action

of Artistic Merit
No Self
To do the bidding
Who Will Make Art
In The Future?
What Will ARt Look Like
Once Fried
Dried Up
Left In the Rain
Melting Down
The Brain Drain

11 Jan 09