Saturday, January 30, 2010

Salvador Dali's painting Apparition d'un Visage et d'un Composter sur un Plage

Far flung earth fom these her hills gone done things
far flung from shore to shore and yesterday's far shore
like this living world of hours
in a salvador Dali painting
Bent and distorted
never knowing golden
truth or untruth
real or unrel
concealed occult like congealed vine
maybe make disappear
Just the fine decaying forms
structures decomposition motion continual action
filled in fufillment in hallowed halls
full of holes unknown
now unseen you think not
still there as still life decays
earth in ways
scrabble, scribblings and ramblings
mumblings, rantings against nothings
reblogs for beginners
helpless hapless hobos
no knows potato eaters
all caught on a train
in the rain to spain
where I met salvador Dali
fathom that deep
swallow that whole
all these scenes
a tail told
ants lick to cheapen the threill
yell at the Univers
yellowed and mellow now
older than never
rebounding with echoes of nothing
hounded by hauntings of hound dog
"the dog looks dead"
he is the structure, the gulue that holds
sticks to others
like ants on hands
boucing off shrivelled squirrels
are they raccoons
and banana peeled away left to rot on
a Danish tableaux
is this for lunch?
on the linen tableclothe
a very thin veneer for vermeer
a veil that tells
all is a mystery

so this salivating dead dog
Galen's face cup
smiling like the knorss boy
come hither you slitering snake that I like
something is smelling rotten
eye sockets sink deep and pop out
and everywhere
moldy old decay
ants again finding there way
with me
in there where I look and live for awhile
a nightmare utopian world or
a heaven in hell?
as new skin is borne in new wineskins
long limbed sax player
modelled from the model
children beg asking for more
pennies never scent
heaven wont open up
rot seems to last as forever as not
as hound dog sniffs a new moon, blue as sky
opposite side of canvas
all forms remerge
as merging writers and artists
long gone
submerged under water or clayish moldy forms
long dead now
simulating some form of life
in the mudy paint that earth likes
pears like the 12 apostles and jesus too
as the last supper is mimiced in a grail cup
holding Dali's wife Galen
a religious retreat
for the senses
elusive illusion?
the veil test, the vase test
is it half-full or half-empty
who the hell cares except the dog
who won't bark
silken cord left so on the plateaux
with silk-like snake ropes
teasingly mocking frustraatingly taunting
Salvador's salivating
ded dog with corrupting flesh
the only way to new worlds
is what is inbetween

jj 0 01 10

Moonstone's Ancient

Shadows from near earth objects
Open the door
the full moon is waiting for you
to freeze the bejeezus
from nuts and wall paint
Casting dispertions
desperate to make plans
of the unknown
with the unknown
unknown being rather sexy

these spindly spider legs
of shadow
from moon's odd pleidian blue light
like my zeon flashlight
these beams describe
long lost energy
beaming to earth now
freezing cold light
colder than any place in the
so far so much
unknown universe
always farther to go
what's with farther?

bye bye
long gone ago
so far the constance of your blue
frozen light which stings the skin
like heat but isnt heat
is cold like heat but frozen
why would sting of cold feel like
sting of heat
are they so much alike to be that different?

wait for the right moon light
when she is full of herself
then coil and strike
ready to penetrate
the moon's mooning bottom
what for?
to prove there is water there?
in the hollowness she is space
hollow as I feel full but know
I am full of hollow's too
like my broken heart
can it be replaced

with moonlight to succor
we drink in the light
awash in a moon bath
seemingly magic and majestic
at the same time
doors open
upon the new worlds to come
light forming like whats to be
in some cold etch

as astronauts not long ago
touchdown tranquility base
the peace of knowing
frozen feels like forever
as does space
yet inbetween these dreams
shadows from earth objects only
appear close
as far away as time can get
to have this epithany happen
this magnetic floating energy
is like magic
for us on the periphery
and yet so close
to touchdown I can
feel the moondust
between my toes
the sulfur smell of her
in my nose
the light penetrates
right through me
like lovers
merging now with forever

In these stark contrasts
the moon
is born wolf
the first moon of the year
an January howl
saying here I am
do you know me
I feel remote and yet
I am so close to you
to your memory banks
lapping on the shore
of the collective unconsicous
asleep and dormant for so long
awakening soon
to a new dream
to recollect
the stardust left on the moon

jj 30 1 10

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Ancient Nudes: Fellow sWollowers in My Punk Ireland

For all the criss forsaken
mitred down stomped flatten'd
Da cry like baby Jessush
ancestors ancient curls
pressed down
squalls licking up
a testament to wollow
willows fallen
can fill in the hollowness
of heart

punk zealots
battering rams
angry young she
acid overload

shattered bebeered miscreants
smoky bars, Guiness'd brawl
created by the same He bots
whisper hills leave some blurbs
in the dank subburbs
shallowlakes swallowed hole

Rise up to lay down the plans
surrendering never
splash paint to coverup
the 21 gun holes
peering through snippets
a snapshot
a shot in the dark
a surprise visit
to the wild side
of once was
upon a time
senses keen
on zigzag
punk rock

pieces of silver
slivered to last
fractured pieces
mise en scene only
language raw silk on concrete
scathingly skin of teeth
picking pieces of used flesh from teeth
shadow bubbles of death foam
mucous majestic
flesh connected to life's bright nights
watching from a bar a star afar
and touchingly watching VerMeer
seethrough pale pig-pink
do her thing

Ode to the talented Nuala NiChonchuir, Irish writer divine
(oh to write like me ancient ancestors!)

jj 28 01 10

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Baby Boomer or Bust?

Just hit midway point. Dismal posting. Yes the half-century club. What I have noticed is that the "Over Fifty Club" definitely needs more perks. LOTS of perks! When I hit 50 I should have been given as a present; a regenesis trip to Nirvana by Biolog. A state-of-the-art, and maybe(?) state-ordered imbibing of a technical version of an extreme makeover. Leaving the state of Nirvana near Oasis (take Route 66) and given a Doc Brown regenesis; complete physical/mental/spirtual overhaul. "Ahhhhh" breath.
Come on, you've got to admit, the technology is probably there already. There is regenesis now. We have stem-cell research. You just know if knowledge of regenesis has come down the pike this far, it has been at the beginning of the pike We have the technical abilities; not technically we, I should say 'the powers that be" or knowledge to make an old person young again; why are we not giving all over 50's this remedy?
Well, it must have to do with some kind of non-disclosure of technical applications which are not available to all? Why are these new technologies not available? Could it be the ethics committee or the Bildenburg group cannot determine whether or not humanity should live past...whatever?
Is this a similar scenario like the movie (with Michael York) "Logan's Run" where people are only allowed to live til, what, 30 or something? Well, this could also be the result of the world population being, what 6 billion (yes I have to say what before any factual statement due to the "Raccoon/Maine Coon Cat" blog contraversy i.e., fiasco.(Please see all Maine Coon cat blogs on this site).
Yes, it is a nightmare future scenario if we let techonology get the better of us or let nature get the better of us. Both ways if we don't "counter-balance" or "balance" elements etc, whatever, we are really looking at somehing akin to Edgar G. Robinson's film "Soylent Green" (7 on the 'Rotten Tomato' meter, which means it was rather weak, rather, rank a review).
Believe it or not, I can remember reading this book in Grade Seven, and watching all kinds of spooky and freaky nightmare scenario movies like "Farenheit 451" and listening to a rebroadcast of rosebud actor "War of the Worlds". I would remember by now the actor's name, Orson Welles! Finally the snapses kick in. It wasnt always this way!
There is probably a reason why a lot more people are getting memory lapses a lot earlier and a lot more severe. Is there a cure? What? No cure? Not sure if this is true or not.
If we are finding a HUGE spike in MEMORY LAPSE or early or late onset ALTZHEIMERS maybe there is a reason for this. We must look at the ENVIRONMENT to see if there is an imbalance there, eg pollution, chemicals, radiation, etc, AND FIX THE PROBLEM.
If there is a new regenesis program, let's release the hounds now. It is better this than forgetting if we need memory or be able to find cures later. What if this PANDEMIC of memory lapse is effecting EVERYONE. The only thing left is to reboot via regenesis the brain and thus the memory banks to find cures, to find new discoveries, etc. WARNING; IT may be too late...but do not ever give up hope..until the fat lady sings (weight challenged lady which is me so I can say this).
So maybe fat is the problem. Let's get the Mayo clinic to work on this (maybe the Mayo already is doing this).
Either way, it can do no harm to look into these new and maybe alternative medicines and theories to find a way around our PANDEMIC DILEMA OF MEMORY LOSS. So what to do? Let's look at the regenesis program (if there is in fact such a thing?)
We have all heard about ANTI-AGING MEDICINE. There are certain things to eat in order to maintain and improve the memory. There are some foods to AVOID at all costs. Let's look at these.
Gingko Biloba..thins the blood so thins the fat in the blood to create synapses to fire without having fat (insulation) to slog up the brain performance.
Curries and Tumeric: This is great, anticancer spice. Tumeric cures some cancer; this has been recently proven. Definitely taking this spicy cure, 1/2 teaspoon twice a day.
Antioxidants: Blueberries, bright colour fruit, green tea
Do Not Eat Meat: or VERY little meat according to Dr. Gabe (a retired sports medicine dr and radio host).Eat 5 servings each of fruits and vegtables (best is the deep colour vegs and fruit). Please go to This site is highly recommended by me. In fact I found some new info on mirkin's site and printed it our and took this printout to my doctor who used the information and healed my son of a condition. The cures are out there: you just have to do your research; and have faith, please! Never lose hope!
So there is hope that a person can discover cures for what ails them, especially when nothing has been working, and all modalities are proving not to have the results required, e.g. any health related cures. It takes time, but these new finds once brough forth, can and do create cures. We know in our heart that it is not true when someone says "nothing can be done". There is plenty to be done, some people just do not have the patience or talent to take on the problem of solving the problem. Not everyone can divest the time to find the necessary cures; it is mind-boggling an asignment, but not beyond what we, as a global group of researchers can and will do, if there is a will there is a way. A way to a cure for whatever ails us all. Amen to this!
By allowing the healing principal to continue into the future we must reorganize our way of thinking, and our ways of doing things. We must open up to new ideas. They are coming in fast and hard and old school people like myself cannot keep up with the speed and the amount of new technology. This is good, we must embrace the new, as this keeps us young. That and wearing your teenagers clothes! Well, not really, as I think classic rather than fashion is more becoming on an older person. We have all seen the people who try beyond hope to hold onto the belief that they are still 21 at 50 plus. I am one of these poor unfortunate souls. "But my soul is young, I still feel 21 inside my old body" but really, I am so glad for the wisdom and I am learning to embrace my wrinkles and gray hair, but you know, I still buy hair dye? Who am I kidding? Why cant I just die naturally as I see before me, as I am on the mountain, reached the pinnacle (not yet!) I see the open six foot hole at the bottom of the slide down the other side of life (love Gordon Lightfoot's song The Otherside of Life that and the Moody Blues)
Yes, my belief is that the body was made for, and designed for complete healing. I believe by nature or nuture we were made to find out how to reclaim or regain or discover our dna/rna's regenesis. Whether or not we may have had this ability all along to find our regenesis' function is speculative. We need to speculate more, and we need more people besides the think tank (who may or may not be effected by MEMORY LAPSE)to start speculating, to widen the field we will need for our continued SURVIVAL as a species (is that all we are?).
Working together in this way is much better than doing nothing. I remember Dr. Suzuki (was it Dr. Suzuki) asking me if I would join a combined Artists/Scientists thinktank (or something like that) in an earlier regeneration. I think this was during the time I was going to university. This was a telephone solicitation. Well I lived in London and also recall Paul Haggis (yes the director) driving around town and believed when I was a teen two women said I would make a model and handed me a number on the street. Not sure if this was Vicki Sandens School of Modelling and Charm, but I think it was, it may have been a talent scout. Unfortunately when you are headed for the nunnery, these offers go unheeded somewhat. But I really did want to help the universe in some capacity, can I still? Must it be all downhill? Really?
This generation of people are not functioning the way we were made; why not? What has happened to our environment to our rna/dna that has made this horrible PANDEMIC OF MEMORY loss?
Red/Green Algae is loaded with all the RNA one needs to kick-start the beginning; building blocks of life. To regenesis in this way, from the ground up and natually would be a lot more than "really nice". In fact if we could "boot" this concept like we did stem cell research we would all be much richer for the trying, no harm in trying. Or is there? Should I call the ethics doctors now? Not that I have not been in contact with some really interesting people now and in the past, I have definitely known some fascinating people and for this I am truly thankful. There is so much more to do, and we need to use all our resources now, not yesterday, but this may help to, being yesterday's child.
Realize this;. stem cells are mother cells that allow the body to regenerate from the first cell to the 10th billion cell. Maybe we will be able to stop or slow down cell division which speeds up our mitochondria and ages us faster.
Maybe the environment is allowing for this speed up or maybe it is from radiation from the deep reaches of space. Maybe we cannot cure this speed up, maybe we can. At least we should be working on it. We werent meant for bigger things. And bigger thinking. If we can move mountains we can certainly move planets? Or at least use a cattle scoop to stop the next asteroid with our name on it. Can we stop the inevitable? Should we try to "rage rage against the dying of the light" Dylan Thomas (I think? you know my knowledge from 30 years ago is diminishing, thus the need to reboot with you; nothing personal. And forget sex, over 50 are you kidding? Well at least it is spiritual sex. Since our brains are trained to adore youth, how can you get turned on by what? wrinkles? Seriously, you can, they are "good, two more holes". Joke. Something for the morale (there is still such a thing?)
Well, as I say, as you age you loose it. But you are actually gaining. What? Wisdom. Yes, you are wise. You have gone through the gamut and came out the otherside and ganeme. Or some other unknown biologic function. Maybe we are gathering star dust to be used later in another reincarnation. Let's hope so. Being a star now has new implications and gives everyone the opportunity to be "a star". Yes, a star is born.
So we see the fin de siecle in front of us. The "end of cycle" or 2012. We see the decomposition of all life. The end of the energy cycle. Do we still have time to reclaim our energy. Will Grape Seed Oil's co enzyme Q10 help us to regain some long lost territory in the memory banks? There's no harm in trying! Believe it! There is truth in this; say it, claim it own it. We are what we think. We are what we eat. We are what we project. Power of mind is infinite. What if we start loosing that battle of the mind against nature, etc? What will be left for us? How do we maintain and regain our long lost memories (and for me the short term ones). We need to eat the good food and get rid of the garbage. Perhaps chelation therapy either by machine or diet would help. Get rid of the heavy metal poisoning in our bodies. Get the body to become more alkaline, rather than acidosis. I have noted how I am drawn to eat food that isnt good for me. I have to be detoxed and I must remember to stay in this healthy eating even during high holidays of junk ffod. How? I am weak. But I must be strong or all my faculties will collapse. I am not able to slough off the junk that I am putting into my body. This goes for food of the psychologic kind too. Worries, stresses, etc are not good for the health of the mind. When my emotions are too busy fighting off stresses of the day, I need to find a philosophy that says "let go let live". There is not point to let anything "out there" effect my temple base. Why let crap hit the fan? Isnt it better to bury it in the backyard? I think it is?
Regenesis stem cell research. How we wait for this day when we can regrow anything. Is there anyone out there who I could use their base cell, are their genetically almost perfect peeps? Where are they? Do they say, here I am never going to be sick never going to die? No. We can use our own regeneis and "tweek" our weak genetic areas for a more unique renewed you experience. Who wants to have a clone from a barbie doll or ken doll? This would be another nightmare B movie scenario. However, if I could stay "Jane" and be a more perfected version of "Jane" this I could definitely go for...and I guess unless I get hit by a bus or whatever, I could stay 21 biologically forever? Are you ready for this? If I could keep the wisdom and stay 21 forever, (unless flattened by a bus) this I could do, yes I could do this! :)

MAINE COON CATS fact or fiction?

More info on raccoons and all wild animals: Please note: now I know how to get more blog interest! Be somewhat controversial! TALK ABOUT RACCOONS. NOTE; I LOVE RACCOONS...AND MAYBE THE FACT ABOUT MAINE COON CATS being a BYPRODUCT OF RACCOONS MATING WITH CATS MAY OR MAY NOT BE TRUE as far as being a successful breeder process. HOWEVER, IF YOU LOOK AT DARWINS THEORY, NEW SPECIES ARE MADE either sexually or asexually (mutation) that's right, a GENETIC MUTATION. somehow the idea that a new species is made via nature, it would be better to BE A MATING BETWEEN TWO SPECIES. MUTATION SOUNDS DISMAL but since we're all mutations and mutating all the time, why not. (PLEASE READ MY DISCLAIMER ON THIS SITE...READ BELOW!)


YES TRUTH IS IN FACT STRANGER THAN FICTION. Glad to know peeps feel so affectionate towards raccoons and all nature. It is something to be honoured and nutured. Nuture nature; it's all we've got! Please read some more info on

Thank-you for commenting on my blog. You are in the States? I have lived on a farm

in Canada where I was in contact with many wild raccoons. They are adorable animals

and I applaud your team of at Raccoon Rescue. This is the feeling I had when I

tried to rescue some pups
however my health unit had discouraged touching wild animals. In fact the MNR (

Ministry of Natural Resources) does not want persons to take wild animals from

their environs. If you do rescue check with the law, because there are laws which

state if you are allowed or not allowed to raise wild animals. Usually if you call

them first, and you are a rescue group that is recognized by the ministry you can

raise them to be released into the wilds once the raccoons (or any other wild

animal). I have done this heal and release many times. The blue eyed raven and

artic finch I raised were INJURED and needed a helping hand. I always called the

ministry of the environment and they gave me the nod to do this but told me i must

release the animals when they are well. This is only fair. These animals are not

domestic and should return to their natural world. They are not pets unless they

have been domesticated for generations. Similar to the wild ape attacks, wild

animals can resort to their wild nature and out of the blue attack. Maybe you are

lucky to find animals that are easily domesticated and do not return to the "call

of the wild". Again, check with your local Ministry of the Environment. We want

wild animals to stay in the wil

Monday, January 25, 2010


Backswards speak
spoken slowly walking forwards
towards the dawn of a new day
when we magnetically switch back
gamma inversed
when kids digress
or you were born on a rotten day
when in may
things took a twist

play the record on reverse
listening to id
di ot
makes more sense
than mumbles'
lack of speech

immi ent ten immi
fort trof fort trof
door rood door rood
make ekam
pie eip
green neerg
one eno
club bulc
rice ecir
oven nevo
our ruo
feel leef
cold dloc
clock kcolc
may yam
easy ysae
free eerf
we ew
it ti
all lla
your ruoy
with htiw

do we learn what we can say backwards
as another language maybe
as other magnetically opposed places
may look so odd ddo as to be eb
so all are going forward as the
mind searches for the languages
connected synapes to the consciousness
as going forth and going htrof
are not ton going gniog to make
sense unless
using those machines that can
listen to mumbles
like babies
and old peeps with altzheimers
can work krow
to make sense of mumbles selbmum
when stalled or stopped
listen to what
is said
when the sun or earth or universe


jj 25 01 10


"No Service" to "Maine Cooncats"

Funny thing; I can never "be out of service" one day I'll just drop dead. You cant make a dead horse go any further. And yet when it is time to say; "give me my money back for interuption in service" you can almost hear the accountants making a big gafaw and snarky pshaws.
Raccoons carry lepto which is a serious disease. Nobody told me about this, until after I befriended a pride of pups (young raccoons) who had lost their mother.
The baby raccoons (pups?) purred like kittens; they were adorable! I did not know this about raccoons, that they are very similar to cats.
Nor did I know that raccoons can mate with cats; thus the huge Maine Cooncat. Maine cooncats are beautiful cats but I have been told they are partially wild. These beauties must have their freedom of the outdoors and they do not domesticate at all well.
Definitely, I am sure one of my cats is a cooncat, the colour being so unsual, but she is so tiny. Unfortunately raccoons fight like polecats and carry rabies.
Again, this I did not know until after I nursed the darling raccoon pups. Nor did I realize that other raccoons get jealous of other raccoon babies and kill them. Noted this "nature's wrath" after I raised a bunch of robin chicks that were being pecked to death by their mother. Nature is not always kind, this I realize now. After watching this event I did not have the same respect for these or Blue Jays that devour other chicks.
After the fiasco of trying to help nature, I wonder if somehow I should just let nature take it's course no matter how cruel it appears to be at the time. Again, trying to "save" animals does not work out for the best. One man was trying to save a turtle from a roadway accident. The darn thing was a snapping turtle and nearly bit his hand. I did not know how high snapping turtles can jump!
Sad to note that coyotes and other raccoons have very vindictive natures and kill other defenseless animals. Not at all fuzzy, furry and airbrushed like in the Disney movies. I have learned my lesson!
"Let sleeping dogs lay" and "let nature take its course"*!(*old adages).How did I get from "no service" to "maine cooncats"? Sorry for getting "off-topic"!:)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Conjecture, Speculation and Prophesy

Today we are on a threshold of a dream. A new beginning of understanding the unanswered questions answered at last. If you believe we must be ignorant all our lives of the facts that cloud our perspective of the truth...leave now! Don't involve yourself here. And close the door on your way out!

Today I had thought I should hide my ideas, concepts, conjectures, speculations and prophesy. And I am not, to my knowledge a hopi. Just hoping for something to fill in the too many blanks we have after the flood when all true knowledge was lost along with our magic.

We must have had more powers than 3 percent. We must have been able to do astounding things, unknown now. As something, or some force may have broken our once perfectly spheriod dna, broke it in two (or many more parts that lack cohesiveness).

We were never suppose to live like this! Never were we suppose to experience pain. God is love after all. God would never make us suffer, being that we are his children. So maybe God got lost in another dimension, or may He or She is too much power for us, that His or Her presence may kill us with His or Her (or both or more than) consuming fire as God is described in the Bible as "a consuming fire". That any many other transformation, transfiguration and shape-shifting. Wasn't God also a burning bush on the top of Mose's special mountain called (Bible students you should know this name).

So all in all, it has occurred to me that there may be things we just dont understand because they may have changed slightly from time immemorial (at the beginning) been altered through some calamity or by nature getting too long in the gums (how many dimensions are there, really). If this is true, if our Universe is colliding upon itself (as is evident in some factual Mariner data)collapsing. Maybe we have run out of the Universe's "energy cycle" and we are headed for a reboot of sorts?

Thinking about the earth for a moment; the way it is constructed similar to the sun. The sun being a plasma ball in the sky. The earth having a plasma ring around it called Kuipers Belt. This plasma shield could be our earths Nuclear core third shell, an orbit of sorts similar to the nuclear model or nucleus/proton/neutron. The moon similiarily came from our earth, popped out, was born from the earth's core. This would make sense when you wonder where the heck the moons magnetic gravity around the earth.

The sun too, shares with the earth similarities in construction. If the sun, and the earth are nuclear models, the earth is a nuclear bomb like the sun, a fiery furnace than it makes sense that our crust is just cooled matter from our plasma core. How unusual is it to think another moon may be forming right now under Haiti? Waiting to be expelled into space like our moon had been billions of eons ago. How long? Do we really know? How much faith can we put in Carbon 14, when Carbon 14 only can be traced back so many millions of years when the earth began, when in fact, the earth was old at that time when the crust started forming by the coolant of space. Will the sun one day have a crust upon her? Already the sunspots look to be some sort of crust in a way. Is this how the earth's plasma ball began to cool?

Also, Jupiter and Saturn! It is amazing to see the new map of the solar system. How much the same Jupiter and Saturn, almost exactly the same size. I was told with the old school evidence from telescopes (how off were they then?)that Jupiter was FAR LARGER than Saturn. However, now it appears to be the other way around. I can also see with the new map of the solar system that earth and venus also appear to be the same size. Was Mars and the once planet asteroid belt also the same size. Did Mars collide with the Asteroid belt (once a planet called Dioyosius?) Anyway, could earth also collide with Venus and create another belt. Could Mercury have had a twin planet or star (as once was like the sun) and it dried out over time, getting a crust or not, staying gaseous? Lots to ponder, lots to speculate.

So this is the thing, somethings we may not understand yet.
Our universe is like that; hidden secrets. How many secrets do we have to tell, as maybe man is cooled off flame licks? A mesh between cool and hot, a middle ground, a third grouping. A triade of elements, all stardust held within, who's to say our potential, what we can do, when we are co creators with the creator of the universe?

Food for thought! Enjoy!

Muse's Musical - Magical Me

there's nobody quite like me
And yet
people still like me
want to know me
find me worthwhile
all the while

there's nobody made like me
I'm one in a Billion
lost in the shuffle
You think I give an iota?
Just quoting data
lost in a sea of people
how to differentiate
not how to discriminate!
how to individuate the soul
to make it more and more
greater than the whole
the sum of it's parts
still that one part in a billion
has a role to play today
and a reason for being
in the moment thinking of tomorrow
given that I'm carrying home
a special package of soul
all dolled up and no where to go
unless that place never goes away
i think I am home to stay

others talents outshine my little light
as I ought to bow down and lift up their star
higher than I'd ever get on my own
please look down on me and remember
I'm never feeling inferior to the fact
i've got not a lot
but more than what I want
empty as a can
kicked down the busy road
vacant as a vessel
waiting for bon voyage
my ship of fools has come in

remind me to fill up on love
before the journey's begun
that's all there is now
much more than a heck of a lot to give
or a peck of whatnot
I'm satisfied with being
all I can be
it doesnt take a shiny penny
to know that love will find its way
back home one day
"there's so much love to give"
never enough when there are
so many parts trying to make whole

Indifferent though I may be
to the fact my inferior interior rattles and shakes now
mumbling I carry on
oh well
not what I had ordered
way back when
at the hearth restaurant
life dishes out more
than I can consume in a day
when perfections' excesses
lead to excuses for not being
in the game
I'm really not good enough
for those crumbs
i think i'll eat them anyway

My Muse allows
only completeness of purpose
excuses begone
foraging forward into the future
knowing the end from the beginning
The Muse sings songs unheard by other ears
how I like to hear music of the spheres
followed by deep personal meaning
i can share with you

jj 24 01 10

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Writing vs Drawing

beginning to
touch upon
long lost soul
this sprite
nudges me, conjoles me, implores me
to go global
or die

coming from
this invisible
world of long lost love
sound surround
in the pit of pity
in the beaten down alley
in the defencelessness
of innocence
coming from
this invincible
love conquers all
as love made visible
once more
drawn out
once more
written down
by writing
by drawing
the endless fountainhead converging
to create more of one
one day
amplified version of course!

about this invisible core
that bore our burden
that bore our indiscretions too
as singularity began
to repeat the division
multiple times o'er
continues to this day

to stay true
to the unity of one
Love repeats the beat
makes flow through
channels to the source
return round trip
the various manifests
the varient variety
multiples of matter and
elements unknown

as love makes hope
float on air
defying gravity's hold
breaking the mold
taming the wind
holding the tail
on all that is here
all elements combine
to conquer and divide
suddenly gone
pop goes the weasel
then instantly heads up
and back home again

as mirrors reflect opposites
something within mirrors
all that is
of who we are
or think our image
shows the divide
the original split from one
the original sin of split repeats
the original return to continue again
until the mirror no longer reflects the self

the oneness of soul
where is that oneness
where is the place to belong
how would we know
we're going the right way
when the path not only hidden
is covered the skin
as all flesh decays
with the power of the sun
and snares for the feet
which trips us up
our eyes grow old
our souls grow wise
as the spirit comes home

make us fallen soldiers
wounds not healed until
waiting for a full recovery
tattered bodies have no choice
waiting one day to say all is good
as we end up broken
on life's inevitable
killing floor
we are lambs
wanting to be found

it all began
once we were one
and then became two
and two became four
and so on and so forth
until we end out of divisions
the Lord's genealogy repeats downline
seemingly too large to encompass
our weak vessels to store
our strength holds onto
that one thing inside
unknown to us
the mother cell found
Love is God
or I'm going to end

as love lovingly
nudges me
speaks to me in ways
not spoken
silent words

this elusive
yet tenable
an invisible crown
the throne on
the temple mound
glows with life-flow
which is love-flow
interchangeable words
for one
(Love+Life= LOFE)
my plasmic aura
3rd orbit
no shelf-life

painstakingly lost
for a time
had not forsaken me
waiting for
a second chance to reclaim
long lost heart and soul
given too freely away

to be reborn
into a world sewn together
not torn apart
not made askew
but a fine stew
for the King of the World
the King of the Love Fountain
Neverending Glory shone
All around to
One Long Lost Love
in the heap
in the mass
in the matter
weaving together
when three or more are gathered
I agree
this is what I need
to be love
so be it
it is done
il consume est

the word was
to form worlds apart
to come together
undulatingly so
from words unheard
in love
as to love
as love too
needs to believe
in itself
for it can ever only, only ever be true
how can a power of one lie
could make hearts and other parts
in ways not understood
until written down
these words hold their secrets
long after the disaster
our lives have become
why lie to yourself
this aint heaven
this aint hell
what is it then
some kind of test to mount?
maybe purgatory's holding pattern
or limbo down; the dolldrums dull
repeatingly endless beat
who cares really
c'est la meme choice
it's all the same
we just know
we aint home

filling in with colour
the drawing becomes a
with flo-green triangles
trying to find meaning
from floating in acrylic soup
in symbols, signs and wonders
awash in expressive angst
who knows why images dont sing
like words
ever heard a symbol ring
maybe by some other unknown sense
could be the way the brain
is laid out
the core being further from the future
the core being closer to the past
sounds coming first
images formed from these sounds
images bound to sound
attached in this way
we try to make music from image
or sythesize our senses
Synesthesia of Kandinsky
personal language like luggage I've found
unknown realms claimed
in the baggage department
tagged in place
no dispute it's owned
like a soul is yours
one day reclaimed
all come together
in glorious rapture one day

Drawing on Core
no one ever knew
what i knew when
bringing forth new forms
hoping to bridge the gap
between the new and the old
between opposites and likes
between our understanding of things
sounds would be more sound
understood as feelings entwine
more round like Celtic knots bound
Gaelic words ring true to the heart
and soul knows more
as Spiritus Invictus
these dead languages reborn
coming from the grave
or some unknown place
to teach me yet
for we long for more
for we had so much more
once upon a time
when we were closer to our
beginning source of all that is
Sing today yesterday songs
of these empowered word-songs
to make our soul melt
and recombine with spirit
that will invite us
to part never
apart at a parting party
come together while going
far away

These disappearing lands
masses of matter
dissolving like salt in water
the earth too shall dissolve
in this way
the elements I sought
rebirth recalled
keep me free from birth
to bring me to mirth
the long lost lilt,
the brough by the trough
by the lazy river
mississippi blues songs
the peculiar sound
never heard before
reminds me of what
I have heard before

these sad songs
call me home
these sad songs
lead me to where
once long ago
these now long for long gone songs
those now long for farflung places
captured moments still weep
for this holy day to hold again

places revisited are removed
like wind swept sand
impossible to recover
the veil to be removed

and what this?
about whats this?
words feelings easier than
words meaning easier than
words our ancient sounds
ancient selves lie dormant
withing places hidden
waiting to be reborn
as on butterflies wings
the coccoon skin frees
key to dna's unravelled maps
unrivalled wisdom found

as more tightly wound
these feelings
locked out
locked in
held within
held without
ancient kin
no more spark of life
to light the ancient fires
long lost now
but then when
their memories nowhere to be found
given as a gift
calling upon
shouting out
pleading with
the wall that stands between us
calling the culled
call of the wild
bring forth the deep
an ode to those
old cryptic cairns
yesterdays charms
buried deep
as sleeping giants wake
Edgar Cayce
ancient lyre
angel's harp
to heal our heart
from the bottom
of the deepest pit
to the highest
mountain top
endless runaway of time
swiftly lifts up
all souls
and saints
the spirit renewed
awakens the dreamer
to the true

these emotional
reconnecting wires
high on the wire
the Flying Walendas
drawing upon sounds
words make music
all clowns falldown
pictures make sound
and all around town
the process unfolds
start to finish
end to beginning
sound may not end
sound may quiet down
whose to know?
whose to care?
as soon as light
as light gets faster yet
and sound barriers
already broken
waiting on light
speed to take us to where
we already were
a place near the sun
not too hot or too cold
just right

as the frontal lobes imprints
images of all this
our blueprint dna encodes forever
as far from the cerebral cortex
sounds of all this
our blueprint universe encodes never
there where music of the spheres began
Music a primary Art
ending with image or sound
starting with sound or image
we know we are bound
tatooed by fine art design
these patterns of the universe
repeat the unending sound
Art's tome a never ending song
As energies here seem to run out
Musicians play instruments
keepers of long gone sound
meaning soulfully recalled
crypted and deciphered
words etch meaning
from the original score
energies taught yesterday
energies lost today
energies sought once more

As all evolved from sound
waves crashing onto hot lava
sizzles and sputters
likened to electric lizards
drowning in water
replacing the evaporated elements
converting to brand new
readying our expectations
more sounds we could hear
more sounds we could decipher
their meaning a fountain of knowledge
an overflow

as waxing moon
began to wayne
once brand new too
to return again
to loop around the bend again
to gather round after growing too loud
softly muttering
now sounds sound so hollow
as hollow as the earth
as hollow as the moon
as hollow as men are now

as women filled their caverns
their caves
their deep dark hold on
the maternal musings
with all things Venus
of Willendorf
plums full of sound
enticing and sometimes bestowing
yesterday's evening song
once full of meaning
following patterns
once completed the circle
a yearly rebirthing
found in Druid's fields
Hinging on truths
so fine the line
these hidden
those hiding behind
mysteries unfolding

As it was in the beginning
the word
the image
just an offshoot of another star
the star we were originally
hooked onto
stuck like glue to
meshed and mashed
shaken down and overflowed
like metal from our bloodlines
we knew the elements were
as ephemeral as us

This endlessly evolving
how need wants
to visualize feelings
in song, in art
made something from near nothing
where all thought could be
pushed forward and out
to the hear and now
listen all beings
Be-ings are
Is-lings in being
Now-ers now know
All converge this moment in time
All apriori and after party
the universe's beginning still hums and churns
the universe's end still calls and draws
waiting for our recalled selves
sitting on the shelf
one day
not too long
if not now
how many hours

drawn from Venus
sculptor's naked model
a verdant muse
original sin still to bear fruit
for love stays
hangs on
tunes in
turns on
as new blue bird sings
as golden as
rings round orbs
ordered stellar formations
older than Moses
rocks of Gilbaltar
crumbled to the ocean
flattened like the fatted calf
sacrificial offering
pleasing Creator's need to be
one with us when
consuming fires overtake
the flesh in a flash
tumbling towers of volcanic rocks
push and shove
now scattered on the far shore
rising earth mounds
rebound once more

mystical lands
emit soft sounds
emotive votives
lapping waves
spewing cool lava
fireballs dying now
when space consumes time
return once more
fantasia's might realm
real memories of now

making images here our own
countrymen take
as cavemen owned
the red ocre lines
beasts of the field
rhythmic beats still in
matisse-like delineation
movement echoes
fine lines form
function to find
food to keep alive
as energy converted
is such a perverted way
things seem odd
when we consume things
we think we shouldnt
as nature hopefully takes
a more subtle form
than chewing and gnashing
and firey consuming
of fleshy parts

As beastly grogs grappled with fear
giving way to challenging nature
the way it is
can change if we make it
when all is snythesized artificially
is this good?
now only to find
we lost the path, we lost the time
we aren't getting back our thin dime

using this conquering nature
the burly man-beast
will have dominion over
the poor beast of burden
who has a right
does it not?
with all the fight we have
isnt there more decay than life
causing us to fly to our home
away from this strife?

if we are to eat or
be eaten as roasted or raw
by drawing are we
wanting or needy
the visuals made
cave wall art
or cave to obedience
when all seems naught?

reality returned brighter
longer lasting
than the details of our thought
yet when a dream the details
are more complex than the
complexities here
given reason to believe
all streams from the source

as maybe forever this one perfect
day can be saved
packaged and waiting
drawn out forver gets
withdrawn or past
now catches up
as time seems to quicken
the clock will stop
for heaven can wait
longer than a day
longer than a eternity
laserbeam of make-believe
reality on
stunned or stunning
we are drawn
to sound

as it is written
so it shall be

jj 23 01 10

Friday, January 22, 2010

Granma Mooses Remedies for Emotional Healing: Reclaiming the Long Lost Soul

Nellie Belle: Grandma Moose, what if something really stinks in my life?

Grandma Moose: Well, child, I think if that were me, which it isn't, 'cause Grandma Moose can whip that creeper vine of depression right in the bud! But if it me, and my life began to stink, perhaps something coming from the WC, well I'd probably, yes I definitely would find a fast fix to get myself some "breathing space" a moments reprieve from those things which were cluttering up my olafactory. Could be awful smells, like, fishy smells or urine smells or poop. You know these smells come from decay and we as humans should stay away, our noses are trying to tell us something. Listen. And just like "bad smells" emotions can crop up, as the body tries to rid itself of residual unresolved feelings.

Yes, girl, I think I'd go right away to my linen closet next to my lilac and lavender with hint of hyacinth essential oils granma makes each summer and I'd make a light fragrance bomb. You can purchase Granma's LilLavHyc here (no not yet...COMING SOON!)Granma's working on an orphanage plan for Scooter City (see post on blog...last year I think)

If this doesnt work to disspell bad and malodourous smells, I'd get some of that (product placement here; any nice smelling Hawaiian or your preference smell here) and spray away! Soon all life's horrible smelly moments are replaced with calming sea breezes etc. I like juniper pine smells, mmmm. Cheap therapy and Grandma recommends a spray fix before all else. NOTE:If you have serious depression get to a real doctor. These "quick fixes" are just that, and sometimes people need more help when things get to fuzzy.
A real doctor or naturopathic doctor who is probably more real could help you. Not always successful are the treatments. It is advised that you try any and all various modalities, to optimize your successful treatment and resolve. It does help to experiment with what will work and what does not. The chaff from the wheat. Find that seed, that modality or a combination of healing modalities that will help you.
Listen dear girl; because depression is insidious it must be taken seriously, it has funny ways of acting on a person, and more often than not, it sneaks up on a person. It is a far better thing to discover that a lurking sadness is not just mood. Besides there are mood diseases that can be altered, changed or repaired. Sometimes a prescription fits like a glove. My fear is dependency on pills when sometimes all one needs is understanding of one's true feelings, and recognitiion this particular place in time and space is where the residual pain is coming; and like a snake in the grass it can show up out of nowhere very quickly!
Please remember; the advice here is not a treatment, more a temporary fix, liken to first aid for the walking wounded of the emotional heart. As for the seriously emotionally impaired, main stream modalities are best tried first, and there may be success there, I have heard there have been cases. However, for deep-rooted healing of emotion, one must get to the heart of the matter and it takes work, much more work than just taking a pill daily. Yes, Virginia, or I should say Nellie Belle, there are no quick fixes unfortunately. Hopefully one day the cloud will pass, as it says in the Bible "and this too shall pass". And the sun will shine and a new day will rise and you will feel happy about yourself and your life again. There is nothing more dismal than a person in the throws of depression. And depression can take many forms, and requires many various treatments. What we are doing here is trying to understand how repressed memories can be a major culprit, if not the major player in depression. This is more of an informative page, a start to finding the right way for your own particular brand of healing methods (known as modalities)
Like all quick fixes, somethings just do not work, but some of the recommendations here are probably better than nothing or that jagged little pill that dispensed something that has too many contraindications which plays havoc with your health! Granpa Moose said it best; go as natural as you can, if you can, if not try something else, hopefully it will work if not, start again!

Nellie Belle:
Grandma Mooses what should I do if I just can't rid myself of antsy angsty moments? How can I feel better temporarily? Do you have a quick fix?

Grandma Moose is your nanook of the north, your buba by the sea and has come to the immediate rescue! Remember all antsy angsty moments started somewhere! It's up to you to find out where those lil' devils are hiding.(Granma really doesn't believe in the devil, but uses this image for anything negatively affecting the person).
Please bring the ants to the picnic, lets see how many there are out into the open. Place sugar by the sandwiches so that they will come out of their antholes. Similarily you must coax your feelings from out of hidden and recessed places. Not an easy task but an absolutely necessary assignment.

Sure, Nellie Belle, you could kill em with (product placement here)but that's not overall a healthy way of dealing with problems. Sometimes you can leave something out for the ants, like poison and they will bring it back to the nest and this kills off all the ants eventually in that nest. Problems that are unresolved, especially emotional problems are collected like ants and pushed back into holes as soon as they appear as "negative emotions" such as crying jags or blue mood. (Moody Blues?).
What you need to do Nellie Belle is find whether or not, these moods are caused by something deeper than just the everyday midday slump of little sugar. Go into a quiet room, turn the lights down low. Relax. Listen to a relaxation tape (entrainment if possible) and sink into that space of your inner being. Are you still crying? If not, no doubt a passing mood, repaired with food. (not a lot of food). If you come out of your meditation and you find you are crying this is good. Get into the feeling. Now you should be aware of where and what time in your life this feeling rooted, or took up residence in your mind and body. Cry it out, get into the feeling. Now right down all the feelings that were causing you to cry. Was it anxiety. Write down "I feel anxious". Also try to find out if that anxiety is caused by something. For example, you feel anxious because I am remembering when I was not treated fairly by "so and so". Or I felt sad when I could tell someone I loved them because they didnt hear me or feel the words I was speaking. Or I felt anxious because I was rejected by my friends for what reason? Write that down too. After awhile you can reread your notes and it should make more sense. You have now attached a reason for the feeling and have connected a meaning to the feeling. Now the feeling can be resolved. You can focus on your age at the time. You were to young to understand. Others were bitter because they had issues. You can now rationalize the reasons for your feelings that were never resolved. And because you are now an adult (or almost) you are able to say to the feeling, rationalize with the feeling, give yourself credit for having rationalized the irrational feelings.
Now these feeling should disappear, the feelings of sadness, loneliness, emptiness...unless they are more deeply rooted and then more help is needed. At this point the feelings may be tricky and they want to stay rooted in the body like a fungus. This can be resolved if the feelings are considered one by one, analyzed for what they are, and released. If the feelings cannot be released so easily, they must be tricked into coming out of the body.
Often it will be like birthing pains to rid the body of such intense peak experiences and emotions. The grip these feelings have on the psyche are tantamount. The are locked in unless, a person can cry out and understand that these feelings are not welcome anymore. They are harmful, they hurt the body. These negative feelings are stored as stress in different parts of the body; in the stomach the adrenal glands, in the brain as migraines, in the throat. The worse kind of stress is the kind that hids in the mind.
The kind of stress which locks onto a persons feeling of self worth. The kind that constantly questions; "am I ok"? or "why do I feel this way" or "am I a bad person for having bad feelings". This is much more serious and must be handled very carefully as these are deep rooted stresses and must be professionally handled by a skilled psychotherapist.
This kind of treatment is not for the weak, it is a very painful process but inevitably a very worthwhile investment in one's own health overall and imperative and extremely necessary.
Remember Nellie Belle; if they are actually visible ants we can take care of the problem. If they are hallucinations the brain chemicals are overwrought and can be brought back from the incorrect chemical balance in the brain. However, if they are the invisible kind of "antsy angsty ants" or stress feelings like a more dismal form of butterflies in the stomach you've got to take immediate and quick action! These are the blues or worse, depression and major depressive disease of the mind.
At this point you must summon all of your powers that you've got (i.e. support systems, friends and family) and you have got lots of work to do!
Dang, this is going to take some time. Be patient. It took 50 plus years to get rid of my ants, and I still get them coming back. Let's face it, they only going to be ridden for good when I'm belly up, teats on the ceiling, after the dirt bath, you get my drift? Good, her's Granma Mooses quick fix in 10 easy steps!

i) take a deep breathe, go for a walk, get out of your scene for a moment, take a bubble bath, or jog on your exercise bike, or eliptical or those new slanty treadmills or those really cool hula hula bikes. I use my computer chair for one of those. Trims the waist that got fatted up over the holidays! Be kind to you, and Love you! You will need to summon all your powers of being
to get rid of the antsy angsties, those horrible soul-destroying nasty feelings that keep creeping up like a demon seed (by this I mean all things rotten in Denmark and all things that attack your good spirits or sprites) a creeper evil vine, hell-bent on turning your life upside down, determined to destroy your sense of self and your place in the world. Another term for the demon vine (nothing to do with wine, I am not a prohibitionist I dont think so, maybe in some ways but drink in moderation is found to be scientifically healthy)All these silly images of a devil in a red dress or the two-step third step ACME black hole, or the BBQ pits pity party that never ends even after the drunk guests go home.
Hola, girl, you just got to get off that downer track...keep saying...keep believing..."I am stronger than any kind of force (Star Wars?) that is sent to destroy my mind, body and/or soul. My spirit is fierce. My mind is willing to change. As a joint owner of the Universe my will is invincible! I have no regards for any form of pity party nor any kind of self-absorbed wallowing, or greedy inward lament, or endless struggle with inner demons created by myself or others (who?) or any kind of negative in my world. My world is positive-based, light-filled (not saccarine), pure, natural, all things good for me and mine! I am who I want to be and I want to be (state what you want to be here). Granma wants to be Strong, Resiliant, Love and Loved (it's all the same really), Connected to others, Happy, feeling the range of emotions to make me understand emotional intelligence (that's all I've got), to be Free, Creative, Positive, Supportive (oh the list goes on folks...hold onto your hats..this list will be further developed later).

Granma Mooses what should I do after I breathe? I still feel depressed with these antsy angsty sometimes damnable feelings creeping up from under my skin, from my heart. My heart feels like it is scratchy, wounded, like old songs from an old violin playing over and over again, rutted in the old school record player, not being able to move on from this feeling. It wipes me out, makes me feel exhausted. Is this depression, these repressed feelings? Why didnt anyone ever tell me, "Your depression is caused from repressed emotion". Is it because feelings are totally thrown away with the bath water in favour of a more unemotional and scientific approach"?

Granma Mooses agrees, emotions have had a bad rap in the scientific communitee because they can get in the way of the pedestalled "rational thinking". The demigod the scientists bow down to, it is this way of thinking that got us into the mess, the less than perfect methods for healing the mentally ill. No one is mentally ill, they are emotionally malajusted. If scientists would actually study emotion, but they cannot because most have denied emotion, until it creeps up on them, well then I say...double raspberry to them! We need emotions like we need our skin, we just need to have better emotions, and this will make us better human beings, wholly realized from the mind, body and spirit and dont forget emotion! We must NEVER negate the emotions. We can be friends with our emotions, they need not be "the enemy". They need to be fully understood for what they are, and never covered up because the doctors dont have time to analyze the patient's emotional status, they only have time to push dangerous pills down their collective throats! This makes Granma Mooses slightly miffed (can I get Form 13 for being miffed, probably one could get rubber roomed if you are any part of any of any fray that says "hey, I'm not going to take this ill treatment by those who's real interest is not the patient anymore". Do you realize that there is absolutely no motivation for doctors to help patients because doctors get paid (that's right they get money) when a patient is sick. There is no INCENTIVE TO GET PATIENTS BETTER. DOCTORS DONT GET MONEY WHEN PATIENTS GET BETTER. So this "sicky" craxe came out of the woodwork, doctors havent cured cancer, why not? Doctors and Pharm (the evil pharms) get RICH when you ARE SICK. Get it? We should ABSOLUTELY SHOULD petition our governments to give DOCTORS AND PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES incentives WHEN PATIENTS GET BETTER, WHEN CURES ARE FOUND. Obviously we have this remedy/cure backwards. We put the horse before the cart. WE NEED TO CHANGE IT AROUND and FAST if we want humanity to survive. OUR GREED CERTAINLY MAKE US ALL GONERS SOONER OUR LATER, MARK GRANMA MOOSES WORDS. PLEASE DO. TIME DATE STAMP THEM TOO THANK-YOU VERY MUCH!!!

Granma has her moments, but these "menopausal moments" are not at all unhandled and completely natural, if doctors know from natural with all their POISONOUS AND SYNTHETIC DRUGS MADE FROM THE OIL COMPANIES AND WE ALL KNOW WHO OWN THE DANG OIL COMPANIES...SAY NO MORE. WE HAVE BEEN COMPROMISED. SUCKS, EH, (ZED from MID).DOCTORS, Yes, please be true human nature, to the natural world..yes, doctors, THAT WOULD ASTOUND Granma Mooses!"

Anyway, where was I, oh yes, Dear, you've just got to try to take another deep breath and then find a pen or a good old typewriter or computer keyboard (this blog will do) and try to write down what those feelings feel like. You could be the next Jack Kerouac! Believe in yourself. Jack was really screwed up but he found himself, dug into his skin and found the root of his disconent. His malady, his sad melody of love. Yes, sometimes somethings definitely cause this heart malady, this heart welling up, swelling up with unseen heart tears from years ago when hearts were broken in two. Think about your past, where this hurt originated. Maybe an old lost love broke your heart when you were oh so innocent and desperate and openly vulnerable? Maybe you lost your dog and you just saw lassie on tv. You have to determine what caused you to feel this way. What EXACTLY was it? What triggered your heart's scratchy ripples of a response?

Please remember: your trigger reaction may not be a "scratchy heart feeling" it may be a deep emptiness coming from the pit of your stomach or a terrible headache. All these "trigger reactions" are our bodies response to stress. The mind, unless it can adequately work through these repressed feelings will always try to tell you "Hey deal with me, don't repress me, I want you to come to terms with these feeling you have bottle up for so long". Your mind and body work together in synergistic reliance on one another. You cannot fool either; not for long anyway. Find out what's eating you "Gilbert Grape". You could watch "starting over" an old tv show from a few years back for great advice how to make an attack plan to get your life back on track! Remember, only with your will will any program of self-discovery be successful. Your will, your determination can make the gray go away, for good!

Grandma Mooses, this makes complete sense! Now I know in practice it is good to get in touch, to understand and write down all these antsy feelings, for eventually, when you can understand where they are coming from you can get better and heal the depression, no quick fixes here, but it is a start.

That's right dear. Women have always been the bearer of all things. They bear children, they bear pain, they bear joy. Why women are a bunch of Momma Bears! But seriously, in order for you to succeed in your fight against the dreaded antsy angst you need to do these three things;

1. recognized the feeling and where it is coming from
2. conquer your fears, angst, regrets, shame, etc
3. move on, its all behind you know in the sea of forgetfulness. you are stronger than any walls you put yourself CAN see your way free and clear from these things that have held you back for so long. Remember: you are strong; stronger than the universe; YOU ARE SPIRIT!!!
FEEL IT, DEAL WITH IT, GET OVER IT, SEND IT AWAY like a balloon released into the sky to fly away, far away for forever and a day!

Granma Mooses can you give me an example of how I can remedy each angst moment in my life and fortify my resolve to overcome any residual angst?

Yes, dear of course, Granma can help you. Here, start with a big hug from Granma! You know that Granma has always loved you, that Granma will always love you. There's never going to anyone who will deny how much Granma loves you. It is as perrenial as the grass, in the beginning Granma loved you and in the end Granma will love you. Granma will never stop loving you. Do you feel better, stronger now?

Yes Granma Mooses, thank-you so much. Maybe I just needed more love, a hug when I did not get one. Or understanding when no one seemed to understand me. And know I suffer because my body and mind stored this sadness and it was stored coming up as angst at some later time, when I least expect it. Sometimes we never know how much love we need. I guess it depends!

Yes, dear, it does depend on how much love we think we are getting or how much love we can feel or if, in fact, we can really feel love. Sometimes, in the past, someone may have had to save you from yourself. Perhaps you were a little child and reached over the stove when it was on. Granma or someone may have said "No, dont touch the stove". They may have tapped you on your hand so you would remember not to do that again. It wasn't done in hate, but your little 2 year old mind may have thought that. Even though later you knew it to be true, your mind remembered this scolding and took it as conditional love, rather than unconditional love.
Now we have to go back and remedy that moment when you thought you may have lost granma's love for a second which than became an eternity. These incorrectly perceived moments are locked away in the mind as residual feelings cropping up days, months, years later, to make a person feel that perhaps they do not deserve love. However, EVERYBODY deserves love, yes they do and EVERYBODY deserves all the love they can get, with no reserve, ever!
We can correct these feelings, there are many methods, I'll show you how. It is not brazen or callousness either. That would be a much worse thing to do, to shut out all emotion, all feeling because of one incident (or two or whatever) because the mind may or may not have perceived a feeling incorrectly and created residual pain storage sites locked away until the flood gates open and all those bitter memories overwhelm a person.
Besides, love is all around us, we can love ourselves, we must love ourselves (not in a greedy self-absorbed way). We must love ourselves enough not to treated as a "door mat" or a "decoy" or any other form of "used". Humans are wise. The intuition which is really the spirit speaking through the individual is oh so wise!

To be successful in defeating these old memories that become depression, one must be constantly vigil. Remember: These emotions cannot get the better of you. They must be put in check, and you must have power of will over them. It is not easy. It is a fierce battle waged. But know that you are gaining an understanding of the emotions of self you will be able to, slowly, but your life and emotions in perspective, and thinks will make sense again, things will come together and you will be that much stronger.

Successful overcomers of negative emotions, and when self-love is reclaimed, these successful overcomers will not allow themselves to be used by others, ever. Those who are lashing out at others for never having received the love they needed when they needed it really need to get it touch with their true emotions, must delve into that reserve to find their true selves. This is far from easy. Read Arthur Janov's Primal Scream and other books by Janov to realize how complex yet complete the emotions can make a person. Once you get a grip on how to reclaim the self, all will unfold like a reawakening, even an epithany, a spiritual enlightenment as one can make Love work for them. Love is there for us, for this purpose, to key into our heart of ourselves to know that we are loved, no matter if persons here dont love us, we are always loved somewhere by someone, by the Creator, who began from love and is and always has been love (Hebrews 3:13).
It is a formula for success to know "you are truly loved" work on developing your potential for love, begin with yourself and branch out. Accept love from others when it is offered but realize, sometimes, love is not constant from others and can be taken away at any given moment. For this reason you must be strong in yourself and believe that you are loved first, by yourself, beyond anyone's giving you love. You dont need their love when you have more love to give. Just give your love to someone who will truly honour your love, and forever, and no matter what happens. This kind of love is truly rare, but necessary for the heart-felt persons. Guard your heart, but give when you find it is going to be wholly and definitely returned to you, and not just for a time, but forever. Granma rants. You can tell Granma's heart was once broken, if not twice. But Granma rebounded by sheer force of the love that is all around us. Continue to believe in yourself. I do.

Grandma, thank-you for this, I am beginning to understand how these feeling can get carried away and lead to a person's deep-rooted feelings of insecurity. I know realize how love CAN and DOES conquer all. Just trying to find the love of my life, but I am frighted I will be hurt again. I will be wiser this time!

Yes, indeed. These feelings are like chess pieces, they are sometimes all over the board, but they can be sorted out and you can get back in the game again! Remember, sometimes somethings are very hard to handle, and at times, very tragic. Things happen to people. Bad things. What we need to do is sort out these "bad things" and make them understood and put them behind us.
We are better than any bad thing(s) that can happen to us. We are better because we are not only loved but we ARE LOVE. Remember that story about the boy who gave away his mutt for a purebred. The little boy thought the purebred looked so much better than the little mutt. He forgot how much he loved the little mutt and cried each night for his forgotten pooch. If the boy had been try to his feelings he would have valued the love he had for the mutt over the feeling of having a superior dog to make him look good in front of people. In other words, life isn't all image it is feelings.
There is a huge feeling world out there of love. Some have rejected this world and may never truly know this world. This is the real shame, the real sham.

What other thing can I do Granma Mooses to correct any bad feelings I have stored in my body and mind (and spirit) for so long? How do I get over, once and for all these feelings?

Sometimes in your past something or someone haunts you because they have or you have perceived them to hurt you in someway, emotionally, physically or spiritually. It may have been something which you felt was not fair. You have repressed these feelings. Feelings are funny, they have no where to go when repressed and they are pushed inside the memory banks until the moment comes when they come flooding out of the memory bank gates and make a mess of your life.

You cannot do anything properly until these feelings are properly understood, dealt with and hopefully, forever forgotten in the deep sea of forever forgetfulness. We dont have to be victim to bad memories or bad or negative times caused by ourselves or others. When we least expect these feelings, there they are, at the most inconspicuous moment, at the very vulnerable moments of our lifes, when we are putting on our bridal veil, when we are mopping the floor. Suddenly tears from nowhere. Not just hormones. We could say that hormones may have triggered these repressed feelings as well, helping them to flood forward into our everyday reality.
Yes, these rock-hard, bitter felt, sad feelings, they spring forth out of nothing and completely consume the person. Sometimes, and hopefully, they are happy moments, and sometimes happiness can be tearfully felt. Usually, however, they were not positive memories but nonetheless these bitter memories did make you so much stronger, as each experience tends to make us, when in the whole person mode, become and develop fully into our butterfly soul self. The seed that is being feed by our reality our world. We want to make sure life doesnt always give us lemons, sure we can make lemonaide but you get tired of just lemonaid after awhile. You want to drink of the cup of the spirit and the spirit likes to develop in positive feelings, and in love.
Not to say other emotions are not valuable, they are. The other emotions besides love are teachers, and like a full-spectrum of emotion necessary for the humans complete development and spiritual growth. We cannot bottle or remove our emotions. They are vital. They are deeply rooted in the core of the human being. They just must be understood. And each individual has their own particular way of understanding their own particular (maybe peculiar) feelings.

(to be continued...stayed tuned for more Granma Mooses series of lectures on The Emotions)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

This it is...This is Now...Now This Is...This is It

Trampling over long lost leaves
crumbling felt; nothing heard
she came to the place where she stopped
she found no more a reason to continue
all hope was lost
gone in an instant
a minute past living

AS all around her the vision had unfolded
knowing that the energy cycle had expired
she had not want to continue
her dog was dead
all else was dying
left in a heap
a mass of inert

Time to recall when and how the universe quits
A culling time; a time to cull; return to harvest
the chaff from the grain
since all the seed has been eaten up
by ugly badgers
Honey Lonely admitting to herself
this dying thing
i abhor the most
she prayed for transformation
or transfiguration would be better
since her waist had thickened
allowing herself
the thing to come upon her
like a thief in the night
it stole the images from her sight
and the memories for her alabastar jar
where she had kept her face

all around the her the rose bowers bent over
saddened by fate
if only she had known
flowers felt such pain
she never would have pricked herself
by the garden gate
it was too late to cry
tears were dried up
soft sobs gave way to a silent era
of forgetfulness by the sea
when all of a sudden
there were no more
or feelings found
as if all life had been
but a dream

she was alone in her misery
too many broken cups and broken promises
silly sally collected herself
picked herself up
and became
one with the universe once again

as she took upon the unfolding
of her dirty laundry
she held her breath
when there was no need
witholding her breath
for even a moment
for time had run out
and what was left?

unused and compacted space bent around her
looking up at the epigee she saw bright lights
coming down from the tower
then a triumphant sound of trumpets (what else?)
from a brand new heaven
an new earth and possibly a new
Martwal (getting use to the new negative gamma world)
is there and you are there
just reversed like in some photographic negative
of years ago
black and white
not liked as much
as colour prints
since we can now live in HD
and 3D and beyond
just why can't you living hear me
when I shout?

jj 21 01 10

Fortune 500...Fortunate Few

Obnoxious power hungry rulers
3 percent solution
witholding power from masses
of masses
despot iron-fisted wielders
welding links of pure gold
watch hawks
time stealers
stealthily declaring
pluribus unum
silk purse
from pigs ears
fodder land
pulling redress strings
making contact
with all that is corruptible flesh
in a flash- gone
in a minute - decaying
in an hour - half decay/half gone
no shelf life
constant shoving of get thee gone
spoken out
in subdued tones
whilst under the table
unknown plans
waiting now
lurking then
pouncing soon
attack comes to kill zone
all they know
where emotions delude them
love is unknown in unknown lands
always magnetized to a strong polarity
that one day
will break in two
like a dead twig
so sharing is not in their vocabulary
words don't mean a thing without feeling
this is a numbers game
you are
you are
just a number
and your time has run out

for the iron fisted welders
of things new and old
not to be done
as wine use to flow freely
now has dried up
finding cracks in all that is
not just what we think there is
and try to hold onto
when we don't know any better
but through the skin of our teeth
gum it
tough it out
learn to put up with
the unknown
that is killing us


21 01 10

Par Excellence Bar None

As we'd all like to admit
the admin has not given
to foolish sinners
or lazy lovers
or silly sally's
and half-baked
balers and balkers

Testament to the proven fact
all fall short
even after
the new high heeled
let o's
let go's
let live
(dance little shoes dance)
or finding solace under
a new leaf

fallen angels
call out for enoche
who may be hiding
in stealth mode
to pounce
and take back
all memory of
time spent together
well spent
like that dollar bill
hold onto it
as things
slip from clammy fingers
like roses round bowers
grow weary from slime mold
as each day getting old
leave such sickening smells
after awhile
to die for

Give me some of that glory
old glory
for a moment or a day
so I can make hay
which has already been spent
at Dollar Bill's
which use to be
Uncle Sam's
nothin' like
the yankee dollar
(triple your investment here)

If I had her golden form
that fleece
who made way
on Icarus' wings
flew too close
only 6 degrees away
from what I knew
came to be
someone messed with my life
cause a commotion
thus no promotion
all politics
aint it a dick and jane story
with a twist
sure that fatted golden calf
on my dime
wouldnt have run so far south
as pound after pound
called for old one eye
blind soothsayer
questions why
the shoe leather bound
stuck in the cement
is it diver dan?

I'll never find him
quoted the raven fair
flaxen lox and way
now that he is gone forever
from my mind, anyway
my past imperfect
though it may be
still say
one day

of what was once
sure as cash
bought not sold
a steal of a deal
like found old gold
dollars signs
registers ring
to the sound of money
we all fall down
how base can that be?

as one searches lots
one has been found
like a
new form of hepatitis
in the
parking lot (thanks Will Ferel)

so as not to drool
not too cool
for long lost dreams
just seems only a tad away
yet the carrot's reach
a little farther
round the corner
round the bend
under the carpet
the carport has hidden sin
for a moment but
there comes a time when
the earth opens up
and all is laid bare
as a blue jay
or worse yet
a cardinal from Rome
(dont worry about it)
all will soon
bow down
even that
in tight pants
cannot tie the score

could now loom closer
than never has
for so many years
a fairy tale told long ago
for fables unfolding
the dream creators
recalled recognition
an engine set to go
cognitive understanding
of all blighted
as if the id had been
cooking for too long
as it has been
a has-been
far too long
do we remember
before the flood
before the fire
before the last damnation's declaration
lost fools looking for a job
as a once proud now looted
lot waiting to payback in spades
for a hamburger today
to be paid back tomorrow
wimpy's getting awfully fat?

job didnt have it any easier
wallowing too much he was swallowed whole
his hole too
his life flashing before him
wonder why
he should hold on
to some form of reality
when he was trying so hard
to make do, to make good
what's this?
God had other plans?
or was it prethought
by a whale
a whale of a different tale
Surely the waiting
in the belly of the whale
was a tall tale
it seemed such a dirty job
after the whale had belched
on command
little Job
in comparison
a whale like the universe
must have been
to job a place far stranger
than any of job's rants
and bitter lament
what this world coming to
who can make sense?
imagine what that would
be like
worse than a dog's breakfast
that's for sure
or spent beer smells
in an all-night bar

when i am told i cannot come in
not listen in
not be present
with my kin
when i am given
the old heave ho
over the side
or told
walk the plank
in me eye
the mote is there for a reason
yet we cannot see it
not even for a season

pirate hooka's put out
pull out
bongs to breakfast
all smoke no chew
balogna for breakfast
looks like i'm
not with the crew
this stuck in my craw
wondering why is it so
so much of a cult
of has and has not's
who's to tell lounge rats
make the call

from my perspective
from the bottom ranks
and cups
a toast to all things once
deemed divine
by ordination from above
a tabled overture long overdue
of tone and high-pitched hum
which made sense
now the dycophany rings
the discordant sounds
tells the earth has stacked
to much matter
bells with cracks
i think its going around
of the earth that may wear out
her fine mantel
one day
new earth
one day
new heaven
one day
or night?
we wont know til then
but can we know
it says we cant
I trust in the Lord

listen to what is happening
silent sounds all around
quiet on the surface
but underneath raw
noise hell-bent
far beyond our threshold
of knowledge of these
which may be
one day
plasma balls
formed from mother earth's first
our playing with these
or knowledge of such trees
things we were told
we ought not touch

now the enoche at the door
i knock for thee
as I run to the door
open the sash
open sesame
"says a me"
Who's me?
Who's you?
Who's us?
Are we in a mess?
i know who you are
you're the guy that sent me here
no so long ago
and maybe
over and over again
i cane to play
I ended up staying
was I just sent from heaven above
to be set up and knocked down
sent back special express
like bowling for dollars
i know the score
i'm *&#(@%!!!
Blashemy curses
I'm giving you three wishes!

Sound the trumpets
wait for the birthing pains
calamity jane
you know your name
you did it well
you came back from hell
now you can come here
where love lives
heaven awaits
All God's Children
the writings on the wall
As surely as heaven
which is opening up
letting in old capstones
and bones
once thought forever
by clay earth makers
now held up to the light
for the truth will shine through
all forms of matter and energy
and all false stories
will see light of day
and lies will fall away
leaving glistening gold
when the truth is told
silence is as golden
as the lamb is pure
have no fear
if you have love in your heart
the Lord is with you
in the end as in the beginning
God bless you!

what will happen
when the plasma ball
is ready to give birth
to the new earth?
will we be ready to celebrate
the Lord's return
come judgement day?
deliver us from the fire
it's far too late
unless someone has some
negative gamma ray
invented this day
it is this fast
at that speed of light
to have a moment insight
into saving ourselves
from what we think matters
when matter isnt as solid
as spirit
and our souls always knew
the way back home
Guard yourselves
the hour is upon us
Look up
as the heavens open up
no crying out in pain
but in glory the rapture
as all fall down
and glorify the Creator
of All

jj 21 01 10

Forget About it: Take A Chill Pill

money exchanged
passing over pearls
that were not good

for you see
as you see me
i see you
all hunks and jokes aside
you look pretty good
to me

if you see me
from a place
i havent been to yet
it is not for me to judge
how you see me
or how i see you
when you know that I
would rather see you now
when at first it was
the other way around

So how does this make sense
when you love someone
it is really nonsense?
as if I were a nun
all alone in some cloistered hole
a lonely hutch waiting for a catch
when i shouldnt have
catched and released so soon
(you can tell i watch too many Fishing Shows)

Today we stand by tomorrow
like sentinels waiting for never
locked in and loaded
(mostly loaded now)
we drift apart as ships in the night
that never reached the mid-point
Midway hails
flare guns burst
21 gun salute
Wher' ya bin
all glory now
never gets old
how the heck
did you play crap
on the deck

we can be serious now
what made you want to date me
from an old photograph
virgin ship set sail
not for sale
but for love
all's well
when the tail's still intact
tacking the wind set sail
clipper ships
just for a whale of a time
when the salty brin
made me clip my hair?

Why'd ya fall out of love with me
was it something i said or did
or something behind the scene
the backstory
ill never know
but to guess
i guess
for a moment to ponder
the reason why
looked so much better

wish i had had that many options
to put my placement card there
hoping that i'd luck into
something akin to hunkadelic
with a touch of cash
to splather around
to make a splash
and come up
smelling like a daisy

forget me if you will
forget me not if you can
if you cant you will
they gave you a pill
and now you're just like me

jj 21 01 10

Ode pour person reclaimez

Ring ring tones bellow
below the fogginess of whether
or not so little is too much
when really ever
was the word
and the word
was with Him
and me
like sheep
like fowl weather
like this dang
ringing in my ears for years
life's a nasty fellow
just remember to say hello
as the beachball tears
and I sink in the drink

card carrying table No longer to malinger, i'd rather just linger longer in the hutch which is a seasoned crutch with roast pepper.

The New Polemics of Politica...Dilema's Lemon Tree

Scathing Rebuttals...scratching the surface
Hefty kickbacks...cosy corner office second tower
Sideways passing on the wall
Word on the street...sell all invisible trees
Stop gag...stop flow of trickle down pipeline
Posessive Dictates...respossess the dispossessed denizens
Earth shattering news...created in a Culver City Studio
Family compact...heading for the composter
Imposters...imports of funny clown faces
Deposed Napoleonic regimes...flounders found on land-based operations...fishy smell
artificial intelligence...synthetic surreality
Counter-sink battleships...sunk bulwarks
Counter-intelligence...counter at the five and dime
Canned spam...ham in a can
Professional Dictator's Dictaphone
Complete Control of Utter Chaos...a plan to unravel nature
Chart the Course...lose the race hindsight foresooth
Truth manufactured...factory seconds damage
Coasting on boasting...the pride before the fall
Recluse boss from liquid lunch...reclaimed time punch
Call of the wiles...a new parisian perfume for Wiley E.
Scattered memoires...blowin' in the wind
Loose leaf paper...fallen secretaries repent
White-out method...liquidity white paper - just add water
Closed door meetings...bnb pull-out desk
Automatic firing...manpower for gunpowder exchange program
Form letters...disconnect communication inc
Red letter ink blotter
Black letter ink better
Corporate suits...zoot your own hornblower horatio
Control that system or systems?
Banner year...barn door left open
Puttin' on the Ritz...Puttin on the Green Wednesdays
Corporate mindset...dinky toys
Glass ceiling...unbreakable plexiglass
Pink collar lipstick worn thin after wisk broom
Blue collar the blues for working all day
White collar worker...starchy upper crust
Black collar worker...underground outfit
Gucci slackers
Black leather pumps...upward mobility
Ground floor opportunity...flattened cash wad
Cash rich...fattened calves gravy
Off-shore venture company...nauti laundry stuffing
(gpt a zillion of them folks...please add more)
Ad man...self-made madmen of manhattan
Zero change for the coin purse
Capital divestor
Upper crust...bottom feeder frenzy

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Causal plane
casual places
drifting pen
drafting plans
saving face
stand alone pine
cut down pride
tree felled
timber lot
long lost

The causal plane left for casual places. Drafting pen drew drafting plans. Saving Face Makepeace stood near Stand Alone Pine who was cut down in her prime due to boasting pride. The silent tree felled by jacks came crashing down in the silent woods of Timberwolf's lot. All belonging to long lost tribe of hunterers, gatherers and finders fees. Saving Soul Face became deeply saddened. Earth Shatterer soon found pots grew colder. Piled higher the corpse collector found more stewbones for artful rattling. Shakers moved the earth with each regretful sigh. The tonal grew whisperer and horse grew whiskers. Packing a large gunnysack with him on the long, never-ending journey for a sojourn bearer grew angrier. Soon Sun Yet Sin would shine and gleam off ice covered mountains tops screaming for the sun. The cold wind blew mighty hardly noticed by ice-covered remains. The new day would not dawn, the world would not turn, the mountains already had crumbled. And there one would rise and not see self. And there would be a new moon in the darkened sky which would never be brighter than more than enough to see fully with closed eyes for only the moment could feel the bitterness of such regret in all its omnious presence.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Party Dress

"Do you like this flouncy dress dear, it's pink!" MiMi's mother asked her young four year old. "Oh mommy, I love THIS one!" Mimi picked out the pink tulle dress from the designer rack. "Oh Mimi, it is beautiful, and because you are more beautiful than any dress, more beautiful than any thing in this whole wide world; it's yours!" Janet fed from the excitment in her little girl's eyes and her giddy jumping up and down.
What a dress? What could possibly make this dress so much more than the ordinary? What could this dress really mean to her little girl? A dream dress for a child's fantasy, of make-believe, or rather of believing in something, more than this world of dreams that are broken far too soon.
Did her little girl believe in something more than Janet's own world which could not wait? Janet could not perceive of her little girl's exact world; a magic world she did sense. Janet could feel her daughter positively possessing the positive world of dreams come true and fantasy fufilled. Janet had locked away for years her heart of hope. As if in some forgotten hopechest waiting to use her forever unused pillowcases in her marshmallow yet not cookie-cutter via Mattel dream world.
Janet first found her world was not all shiny with brand new everything far too soon. When the defiant cracks and breaks crept up like ivy vines on the walls of her decayed reality, Janet seemed to vacate her once safe world. Now riddled by years of frayed nerves of never knowing anything but "no", Janet drifted in and out of the many small black dots surrounding her matrixed self. As if life were an intersecting highway where Janet could only watch traffic pass in front of her, seeing the the real world a blur of never. Janet could only think that any participation in a world before reality, of fantasy, she would pedestal and extol such more infinite virtues.
Janet could relive but for a moment the secret world not heard, not eradicated by overload and too loud, drowned out by discordant noise. Those loose but not cracked not wholly broken those living in a twilight world of stagnation, this was Janet's world. It was no oversight, her world was hopeless and by her overwrought self the seething decay of a thousand blackened atomic dots clearly coming from the outer reaches of deepest dark and spent space.
The party would be the proclamation by Janet of her reclamation to herself, her individuality, her dreams unfufilled yet hopeful still. The party would be the most dream she could make her floundering reality. But she needed more power to do this, and how? How could she recreate a perfect moment for her daughter when all was lost to reclaimed space as vacant as the dull looking eyes?
Boo-Boo The Clown had something Janet did not, the magic of childhood kept in check, kept in the back of the parking lot, if not in the back of his baggy pants!
Matter converging, reemerging, never staying the same. Places shifting like sand, new places every few years, new faces, the past buried and forgotten as if a disease. Where was the core to her being, her essence, her existence? Her core certainly had been tested. Her metal proving to be tougher than the facts of what she had always been up against; fate and the single girl.
Mimi was her only love now, her only focus on what matter to her. Janet felt this love was the only love she could possess, she could hold onto for more than a time.
Janet's faith in all things fair in the world stopped when she was the same age as Mimi was now. At four Janet felt her hold onto a light-filled world melt away into hidden cerbral recesses. Soon the new construct of post deconstructionism took on the dull gray hue with flattened horizon fields.
and ended with love. This overflow made for this moment, through the impossible disconnection between matter and antimatter a place where, for a moment, all life could truly live and be believers dreams that this dress would secure her fantasy world for a moment? A dress to make a child's fantasy world come true if not for just a moment. Janet would try to make
this moment last forever; to make a snapshot of this bliss, as it would slip all too soon from her fingers and her grasp on the dream would loose it's sterling grip. How many promises broken? How many wounds healed how many heart-shattering events thrown into the sea of forgetfulness for all time. Time the eternal enemy of man.
For Janet, all her dreams. her schemes, and renewed hope for humanity and the reality zone earth-world would came together as the dress was sown with belief in the incredible. This world of beyond the pigeon-holed reality of what we can only see, there is so much more to the dream than any can know. And so, with this dress, Janet made more perfect than any other wish called out from the bottom of her heart, life itself..
Oh what a dress that looked like no other yet known deep down; this is what life is like if it were a set design. Resplendent, as if life was shining from the sequins and lace. And then there was the dress; something which defyied gravity, all natural elements we're sure we know, defying all else the world has to offer. The dress stood alone, like Janet, believing in herself, her dreams, her reality begotten not made from this tactile fabric. Instead the dress redress a cold universe, a world apart from hers. Janet would recreate, be a part of the renewed creative process, of the world prior. Janet was not present in this world wholly attained by ill gain and horrible actions that would never allow the word could in Janet's vocabulary.
Something her little girl wanted all year to go along with her perfect birthday party on the thirteenth was her daddy. "Is daddy going to be there?" Janet could only say yes as to not stop her daughter's perfect dream. (to be continued...)