Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Surprise! Sir Prize my Purple Prince

Dear Bruce: This surprise is surprisingly shocking and it is.. profoundly gamey..instinctually habitual and insistently reactionary resoundingly rebounding with much regulatory derailment on this glory train this gravy re train this trained brain in perpetuity re entrained estrangement; fine entertainment for glimpses of shortened synapses. As from the brain to the heart of the matter the latter tattered, scattered to the wind, the surprise awaits the surpirsee moreso than the surprisor proviso.
Who is to say which watch is where there the orginal were you two playing up the ante, the next card being 3 on a matchstick or toothbrush; too many; three's a crowd invariably too many variables to hope for predicted outcomes to come out of the places and spaces whereby hidden?. And once upon a time, that time-honoured regulator clock of sameness stopped. Shame the heart-game gave way; yet sham rocks ruled in this universe of semi-detached synapse gaps. Real World disOrdered? Now that's a immediate shock before time could find order in chaos?! Order by Whom? D'or d'or? (door door?)...One must see(wonders now how pro-found and pro-fund(found became a fund? When? When did "found" money bacame a money fund? And surprises then became a shame sham shammy (sham wow?) game gave an ounce once the shock of the new surprised the heart into a false blue sense of subliminal humours and honourous tumours of stress reduction kind. Healing sublimatedingly submitted to the substitute standards of electrical static to impetus the system into submission knowing how opposites attract beef or fat, betwixt the both of them they licked the platter clean due to the fat meats ratio a ration needs ying/yang balance in one act...so exactingly and exactly what thought was wanted when needs be...
... who eats roast beef subway subs with lotsamozza now...how very meme...the memories...thanks to them for them that there (thou that art)...come on out: the goin's great; electric zeal from nerves renewed by reboot hoots and toots. Surprises are fun when I see them coming, not the kind from my occuled blind side...where I have to wear shades at night to see the lightbright explosions of sheer delight...Happy New Year- SURPRISE...(you are Sir Prize)...enough shock for a jocular jock...got me going....with that Kebangshebob:)jj
Did I do that or you? Did you? What for? For not forget me nots?Is Is a surprise a good form of shock? Hopefully the ying will be positive this time around and the yang will just go bang!Remembering I like surprises just not shocks!
know how from who knows now...better than idk?:)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Dr. Joe Schmoe Talks with Dr. Roberta Burns

Dr. Joe: Welcome Dr. Burns to our white paper discussion format! It is a pleasure to meet you!

Dr. Roberta: The pleasure is all mine, can I call you Joe?

Dr. Joe: Please do! We're both colleagues of the same alma mater!

Dr. Roberta: Didnt you graduate in 65?

Dr. Joe: Actually it was 66, I was off by a cuff!

Dr. Roberta: You were in the Zoology department?

Dr. Joe: Yes, there and the Psych ward, er ah, I meant Psych Department!

Dr. Roberta: Well, Joe, it's been a long time. Do I remember you and your various protests!

Dr. Joe: We don't kiss and tell on this shoe, Roberta!

Dr. Roberta: All in jest Joe, but you do remember the Vivesectionist Protest?

Dr. Joe: Dr. Roberta, really! I'm the interviewer today, thank-you very much!

Dr. Roberta: Ah, I see...somethings are meant to be kept in the past.

Dr. Joe: You knows it (said in thick Jersey accent)!

Dr. Roberta: Where were we?

Dr. Joe: We were? When?

Dr. Roberta: You're right Joe, I didnt date you. I think I was the only goil on campus that didnt date you.

Dr. Joe: Why the Jersey accent?

Dr. Roberta: When in Jersey do as the Jersians?

Dr. Joe: Well, Roberta I think you know what I am going to ask you next. You got a keen way of diverting those Barbara Walters line of questioning.

Dr. Roberta: You mean direct questions?

Dr. Joe: Exactly, Roberta!

Dr. Roberta: Well go ahead, ask me your most direct question!

Dr. Joe: I'd like to but I'm shy.

Dr. Roberta: Oh, yes, that was your nick name; Shyguy. I dont think so Joe...you just want me to answer your question that you are too embarassed to ask me. Go ahead...I dare you.

Dr. JOe: Ok.

Dr. Roberta: Well...go ahead...

Dr. Joe: Roberta; at anytime did you feel that you just couldnt date me for whatever reason?

Dr. Roberta: You mean my feminism? My radical feminist stance and my new woman studies program?

Dr. Joe: You could say that.

Dr. Roberta: Well, Joe, it begin like this; I kept getting dumped on by every guy I ever dated. It was a case that every guy had a political agenda and I was just standing in the way of his ultimate progress and standing in the commmunity.

Dr. Joe: You're not takin' me are you babe, I mean Roberta.

Dr. Roberta: No, it wasnt you Joe. It was your "kind". Men. Men of all kinds have the same misogonist leanings. Men cannot help it, it is bred into them like making spit balls or blowing up frogs!

Dr. Joe: There are so effeminate men too.

Dr. Roberta: I am not talking the effeminate variety Joe and you know it. Why change the topic?

Dr. Joe: I'll stay on course if you will Roberta!

Dr. Roberta: I'll try too, Joe, honesty!

Dr. Joe: That's my goil, I mean girl, I mean, oh, you know what I mean Roberta.

Dr. Roberta: I think if you look at most women who really want to love a man, yet very often, the man has other agenda ideas. The man is looking for a trophy; a window dressing. When he finally has what he thinks it the right "dish" on his plate he then continually scans for more dishes in other restaurants. It really is an endless quest, somewhat akin to the holy grail of north american male. It is treasonous to most women once they realize there time is up and they are now done like dinner.

Dr. Joe: Go on..

A man is..what can I say. A man is looking for a woman to bring him into a higher class bracket. A woman like a fast car or fine bottle of vintage wine is often just a commodity in a man's life; someone he can bank on, but not usually emotionally because (get this) most man have no idea the depth of love.

Dr. Joe: Whoa! Hold on for a minute Roberta!

Dr. Roberta: Hear me through Joe; a woman of ways and means is just the chattle the man has hoped all his boyhood. She presents to him one thing; a physically perfected form of idolatry; the body politic. It is the need for men to climb that ladder, and often they are never satisfied even when they have reached that place on the ladder which says "last floor penthouse". Well, not meaning "penthouse" but it might as well be. Men, to put it mildly have no concern for the emotional well being of women. Never have. Never will.

Dr. Joe: Those are some pretty serious allegations Roberta can you back them up?

Dr. Roberta: Our studies have proven time and time again the fact that men marry not for love but for position; for financial gain. This is a well-known fact. The term "financee" for example is a historic word which really transfers a woman's money from one male purse (or bag) to another (bagman). The sad part is, most women never realize they are being used for pure chattel reasons, that they are not getting married per se but actually taking on the role of endentured servant to the male bastion of power sway.

Dr. Joe: Oh, heavy, I never knew this.

Dr. Roberta: It is true, Joe. For this purpose I have started an awareness group called ETOWE. Ethical Treatment of Women Everywhere. If you examine the facts, women today, although they do appear to "have it all" they are actually, politically a very powerful unfufilled lobby group of "have nots". Even with today's 50/50 divorce laws, the fact is, women are not making adequate progress in terms of actually possessing substantial power base. Women have been, and are for the most part, merely puppets of the male power fountainhead.

Dr. Joe: Good movie; Ayn Rands The Fountainhead.

Dr. Roberta: That's a perfect example Joe of how women were and still are view men as these competent, take-the-reins, type of ancient greece gods. Men, are worshipped from afar by women who are too afraid to stand up and be counted in the political arena. Politics being a "Men Only" game. Even though there are a couple of "token" women politicians. The fact is, women politicians are an anomaly, as rare as hen's teeth, but sharper than most brass tacks of the brass rail men keep leaning against.

Dr. Joe: This is shocking! I guess you have read a lot of feminist literature.

Dr. Roberta: Yes, Joe, for the most part, although there are a lot more writers out there than Betty Friedan or the like. There is a new breed today that are well aware of the post Montreal Massacre and Burkha'd women being subjegated to this enormously vast degree. Women are terrorized into playing the subservant roles. Men are promoting the subservant woman, and the advertisement, etc is full of this anti women's rights agenda.

Dr. Joe: Indeed shocking, go on...

Dr. Roberta: Take yourself for example Joe. You seem like a nice loving guy, a good father, a wonderful husband.

Dr. Joe: Well, I havent ask my goil to marry me.

Dr. Roberta: Why not Joe.

Dr. Joe: Well, I haven't found the right goil yet, yeah see.

Dr. Roberta: Well you are probably thinking, a better girl (goil) will come along, I will wait, I can wait. I dont have to have kids til I am 40...there's no biologic clock for me.

Dr. Joe: Wel, no actually, I wanted to marry Betty but she didnt want to marry. She is sort of a woman's libber herself.

Dr. Roberta: I commend her for that. But whether or not you marry or have children or not, there is always the unfair advantage of the man making the moves. Your girlfriend may really love you, but you never told her because you dont have the same capacity to love as she does...men are lacking in the ability to feel love. They feel something, but it is not real love. Not like women experience, it is much different. There have been many test of maternal love and it goes into a much deeper love which men are totally incapable of feeling.

Dr. Joe: Even the effeminant male?

Dr. Roberta: I'm afraid so, but there may be exceptions, there always are these anomalies.

Dr. Joe: Wow, how can I start to feel the love that women feel?

Dr. Roberta: Grow mammary glands Joe.

Dr. Joe: That's it?

Dr. Roberta: And a woman's brain, with all the wiring. It is a case of maternal instinct. A woman will but herself in harms way, biologically (men dont do this) for their children. Men do at times self-sacrifice, but it is not biologically based. For women, this nature of self-sacrifice for their children is genetically rooted.

Dr. Joe: Wow, that's incredible, I didnt realize this.

Dr. Roberta: Yes, this is true Joe. Women just have so much more love to give which men dont "get" or will ever understand on any level whatsoever. This is a fact.

Dr. Joe: You mean I can't go to some boot camp for men to teach me how to be more loving and empathetic?

Dr. Roberta: To some degree Joe, but only to some degree, and that degree is only ever going to reach 50 percent of the capacity of woman's empathetic homornally based loving being.

Dr. Joe: This is indeed shocking but we have run out of time. Can we discuss this issue another time, hopefully we'll get into much more detail how guys can become more realistically loving to their dates and mates.

Dr. Roberta: I'd really like that Joe. Thanks for the interview, maybe we can discuss more on this topic in the New Year 2010!!!

Dr. Joe: Yes, Roberta, and Happy New Year 2010...hope you find some guy that can relate.

Dr. Roberta: Whatever you say Joe! Goodnight! and Hapy New Year everyone!!!

Dr. Joe: This has been the Dr. Joe Schmoe from the Jersey clinic. Hope you enjoyed the show.

The Conditional Uncondtioned Love of West Lovelorn

There's a conflict of interest
which is interesting
in a way
arising from
the cold cold ground
like mists envelope all around
where even ghosts fear to tread
As one is left two are taken
like sick dogs dying in the streets
from pestilence or pesticide
both are pests that test metal
of some rarified fait accomplete
where 6 grads take the cure
who's to argue
when love stops tomorrow
by writing on the walls of today
if you notice
you're giv'en the parker pen award
Oh boy a new pen!

Love's nuturing nature
makes the impossible just semi-probable
stay the course
stay focused
when's there seems to be no cure to what ails
when the medicine cabinet has nothing
only stuffed with old dollar bills
who cares about me
your c.o.i. is your agenda playing card (apc)
doesnt mean much
let me work on this
your c.o.i. was me
finding you
didnt give a hoot
not smart for an owl
who i thought knew how to fly

who cares about us faceless
the facelessness of masses
of congealed plasma
concealed from view
our personalities were removed
as clean as slate
to be modelled into
new clay
new mold
forget the old
in with the new
all the past was a mistake
and should be buried
to cover any mistake
too bad my feet were still sticking out!

and these masses of faceless ambassadors
no befrocked
and mocked
now bedridden
and now
avoid at all costs
dont forget to shove
a couple more bills
behind the medicine cabinet

conflict of interest = there is no cure
for the patient
only bills!

Conditions Ruby Red Beulah Bankheads

Col arises
When your the only one left
hold onto the bag that bug bear
of the much too naive volunteer
Giv'n at birth
to the salty brine of men
To the masters of the Universe

The seal of the cabin
Sealed your fate
The flukes on you
as the flak partied on
as we gleeflully felt
the fleeting of the ships
Awake! Awake!

who cut off
your knows (nose knows)
despite your face (fate)
(you know too much)
man meet fate

As matters on
got you by the bb balls
Command you listen/learn
As purveyors
As surveyors
Survivors all
Authoritarian Ragtime
Authoritons Road rage
Rages on

Say who?
Lives or dies?
what matter this?
tsh tsh
who's head
who's dish

who graduates
suma cum laude
who dies
the wrecking ball
plays havoc with all

who takes up with whom
who has pow'rs giv'n
septre's sway?
who's swaggartly tells
this tale of doom

A position held
tighter than glue
or ceiling wax
Wizards devlved into unknown places
found the only known positron around
after much competition
splashdown egression
collapse of
who bought that?
we all did now
but shouldnt it read
whoever broke it, bought it?

who's now
left to debate
the fate of the greats
the long lost seal
a barking dog uninformed
in uniform
This mantee by the mantle
getting heavier by the hour
tha damn bell tolls for thee not me
as i'm on a diet
didnt notice
he was the only one
elephant in the room
who noticed
seeing elephants a good thing then
gonna be a good thing then
finding those missing hen's teeth
under the carport

Could this world collapse
the beginning of a beautiful friendship
aboard the Titanic
power bundles of great joy
for all men
up north
bitter cold
throw me
some heat
or a bone
for my dog
who is dying from too many
already thrown his way
anchors aweigh
take some
heat now
and sheds some light later
of the night in question
powers that be hear
and stay
on bended knee
to say
I'd like to see you again
until then
remember we two
a team that resembles
double double
do this in membor of me or
the event will keep repeating
that self glory
is no recommendation
we're in it for chicken feed
you like tai or take out
tie one and only one
times on the wall
its going to be hell
but doesnt that just
beat all
calculations all askew
didnt i tell you
it was suppose to be the writing there
who scrubbed off the graffiti
by the petty officer

a long cold night til day
that cold a day
could never have planned
it took a shepherds crook
to find the sheep
when lost in a heap
of unfiled missing
who open this file
opened the seal
we were all awaiting
for our destiny
the roadmap to victory
underneath the street

jj 20 12 09
Rummaging through
these Old scrolls
These old wounds
straight up uncurled
Lives told of
sanctified Love
rare as the honey
old skin
once in new wine skins
replaced holy with used
where's the dew
the morning brew
of many dreams this morning
repeating patterns
many times over
to all the crew
reel to real
real to real
seemingly so
or is it
my memory-x's

Where are we running to
where are we going to
forecast foreshadows from past haunts
future divination distributing
distrusting metho's madness
lab rats in lab coats
how cute!

Merlin's at it again
with his magical wand
making bells from nowheres
sweet valley songs
ringing bells
Judy Judy Judy

so pretty for so many
multiple times
each belle has a story
a beginning, a middle and an end
alternative realities
taking up fantastical space
and stunningly beautiful
panoramic possibilities
It's too beautiful!

To those of us whose
look at each other
in a shattered mirror
can pieces be put back together
for a small get together
at Jack's Shack
for a night
of Raw food
like celery and carrots
leave off the stew
and the dip
don't forget
the dip

Simply following the stream
of flotsam followers
those whose duty
it t'is
to find the perfect storm
perfectly valuable
for the leftover meat
feeds a family of five
and saves at least nine

By ways of the kitty mews
littered and strewn
what's the news?
Designed by the Great Santini
Destroyed by Infamous Past
Slipstream into something comfortable
You'll be here for awhile
As I hold onto you forever
did you think that possible?
As you become so much more than you
in Perfection's Pleasing Punchbowl
a knockout
the postman only rings once
and then leaves this time of year
for the Bahamas

did you shut out the new
with the onld
the long stem story etched
on vodka glasses
and hooka hanuka
on dancer and prancer
to the top of the house
the A frame chalet
dash away all

a new dish
brought trouble
right from the start
you cant think these things
or be labelled a cook
Epp and Flow
The Girls know
how well to perform
on the steaming crab legs

Keep and Embellish
this kodak moment of forever
wrapping it around
your pinkie
as a reminder
belong to the one
that holds you forever
in their heart you play out
the game in endless
power begets
to the highest bidder
hold your cards closer
coming in for a kiss
dont be shy
shy guy
have some seeded brain food
fried in egg
slowly regroupe the following day
exacting measurement means
love isnt mean
it is meant to be
without the t
or the completeness i needed
for this circle route
gets dizzingly droll
as I drool
over the gumdrops
for a chance
to shake your hand
or some nearest member
of the club
you are always

jj 20 12 09

Friday, December 18, 2009

5 Missing Pieces

"This stupid puzzle!" Jody slammed her puzzle piece on the octaganal wooden coffee table. "Mommy...come here, please!" Dorianne looked over her bifocals from her laptop and asked "What's wrong now Jody?" Jody was gimacing and looking extremely frustrated "Mommy, I can't seem to get this piece to fit, can you help me?" Dorianne found herself rolling her eyes up to the ceiling and then stopped herself, and nodded and smiled "Sure Jody, here, let me help you." Dorianne realized she had been spending too much time on getting her home-based business off the ground, to the detriment of her family. She realized Jody's diffculties with the puzzle could be simply a case of Jody acting out her frustration at her mother's lack of attention lately.
"What seems to be the problem" Mother Dorianne asked her eight year old daughter. Jody's curly blonde hair lending an angelic aura to her daughter's somewhat devilish chagrin.
"Why don't we look for another piece in these other thousand pieces of sky?" Dorianne had to stop herself from rolling her eyes again. It was becoming a bad habit, maybe she could replace it with something more constructive Dorianne thought to herself. Her daughter needed her guidance now. This moment, however banal could be one of those pivotal momentsthat would could or should change her daughter's life in one way or other forever. Dorianne wanted to stay on course, to hold her ground and her parenting skills would be tested, she would be the victor over the incessant need to be self-absorbed; greedy. Her daughter needed her. Dorianne liked this. No one else had ever needed her. She would not cave in to pettyness now; she was going to see this through. Dorianne and Jody would meet the challenges and step up to the podium, hands clasped over their heads, bowing to the muses and gods that may just be watching their every moment and erratic mood.

"Jody, Jody, Jody..." Dorianne smiled directly into Jody's face. "Here is the piece, I believe...you tell me if it's the correct one". Jody snatched the blue coloured piece of puzzle from her mother's fingers and immediately placed it in the puzzle. "It fits, I knew it! Mommy, you are so good at this!"
Jody jumped up and down and turned around and hugged her mom. "Thanks Mom!" Dorianne blushed a little and said to Jody, "Jody, you just need to match up the edges of the pieces that are already there, that way you can find the exact tone of the piece for matching, especially in this light blue area of sky". Jody looked at all the blue colour pieces and proceded to find the next piece. "Look Mommy, I found one!" Dorianne looked relieved and felt successful in some small but important way. "There is always a method to life's problems, Jody. You just have to find out how to do it and how to do it correctly. All life's problems are solved a little bit at a time". Jody was finding more and more pieces and the sky portion of the puzzle was almost completed. "Mommy, will you read to me a bedtime story?" Dorianne looked at her watch. "It is bedtime already, my how time flies, let's go, first under the covers gets to read the first paragraph". Jody raced to her bedroom behind the den and shouted "I won!" Dorianne calmly asserted "Yes, you did, but I'm a close second! We'll read for awhile and then definitely 'lights out'! Jody looked sheepish and rolled her eyes and pouted her lips, "Ok mommy, you win, I promise I'll go to sleep if I get a cookie first". Dorianne stated emphatically "No deal Jody, we had an agreement." Jody piped in "Ok Mommy..."
The new dawn had begun early for Dorianne as usual. From her computer desk where she had begun typing on the computer she would glimpse over to see the light cutting through the clouds like a bright cookie cutter. It was mid December and Dorianne had so much to do, so many preparations for the coming holiday season. Still wearing her flannel pj's with the little dogs on them, Dorianne did not feel the part of the executive stay at home mom. Her new business had taken years to get her to this point of just putting the shingle on the door. How much longer would it take to get noisy visitors to cough up a few coins so she could, on her very own energies raise her energetic daughter in the ways and means Dorianne had been accustomed. Life sometime appeared to go in reverse for Dorianne, things were opposite, backwards, with many brick walls which had to be, if not dismantled, completely torn down with one huge wrecking ball.
Although her flannel p.j.'s were warm her hands, and in particular her feet were always cold. Never being able to find her slippers, and not liking to wear them since the terrible fall down the stairs this past summer, Dorianne did look around for a pair of wooly socks. "Oh here they are". }Maybe I should write about wooly socks today. It makes more sense than crunching these numbers; what a drag!" Dorianne did not like having to get up at 4:30 am everyday, but it was the only way that she felt she could get ahead of her work load. Besides, she often was too exhausted at the end of the day and liked the early mornings where she felt somewhat refreshed from sleep and could approach her problems with renewed energies.
Dorianne had been feeling something just was not right with her world lately. Although things had been somewhat survivable she did not feel that her world was anywhere close to thriveable. There was this impeding emptiness which had crept into her life lately; be it from middle age angst or premenopausal, Dorianne did not at all feel like the "good old Dorianne" she'd often refer to herself. She felt like she was sinking into an endless pool of encroaching space, and the funny thing she had recently found; many of her friends and colleagues felt the same way. So this feeling of doom and gloom wasnt subjective, others felt this way. It was not depression, although this certainly could not be ruled out, given that nearly all of her friends had been prescribed Zoloft or Prozac within the last five to ten years of post menopause. "Hey, even the guys aren't immune this time, the blame game isn't on the 'single mothers' as the soul culprit behind the mortgage collapse or the dent in space, what d'ya know". So if it was not the single mothers thought Dorianne, who exactly or what exactly was causing the shift or rift from positive to negative in her ordinary world. There really was too much negative happening worldwide to millions upon millions if not billions of people. People did not connect the dots yet, there was not puzzle contrived to fit any pieces into yet, and yet...these oddball quirky events were an almost everyday occurence, and were occuring with more and more frequency. Maybe Dorianne should talk to Professor Armitage at the University. She certainly would be able to elaborate on any type of anomaly present in today's physical construct. Maybe something were amiss. Something odd about it all. If physicists could not help, then who or whom? A good psychiatrist? "P-shaw!" Dorianne thought of a way to elaborate and collaborate with persons who may not be die-hard scientists, but who were interested in discussing remote possibilities. These people were certainly getting rarer and rarer; ever since these people of conspiracy theoretics were labelled and grouped together as "nuts". By all circumstances the cause of the excess of conspiratorial theorists should at least be verified. And yet, it was not. The truth be told? Or the truth be hidden? Dorianne was not ever one to hide beneath the sand, she preferred straight forward and honest answers. Apparently these answers were as hard to find today as hen's teeth.
So where would middle America place the blame this time? Was it really only one person to create this glitch or some "swamp thing" swamping the scene with incredible carrots before our eyes and then create the bait and switch as if some illusionist from Vegas?
Dorianne thought she would write it all down for posterities sake. Maybe her study at the University in the late 70's of Aristotle's Posterior Analytics had something to do with this incessant need to make order from chaos. It sure beat month end at 4 a.m. Perhaps the sheer number of such inordainate and unusual glitches, time warps, odd happenings and freakish things occuring should be expounded and expanding for the sake of recording history and the behaviour of the universe. Perhaps...
As Jody had risen earlier today than her usual 4:30 am reveillee, she was able to commit more time to her new found mission; expounding on the concepts of space/time dents and glitches and how these "glitches" for lack of a better word, impact everyday people's everyday worlds. Even the not so ordinary apparently, yes that rare animal, were having difficulties with time pieces and time warps. Now to find an answer. Where oh where would these anwsers be found thought Dorianne. Suddenly a light at the end of the tunnel, a eureka moment; Swiss Watch Makers! Of course this would mean a trip to Switzerland thought Dorianne. Hope Jodi could pack up in ten minutes! "Matterhorn here I come!" Dorianne was smiling like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. "Hi honey, I'm hooooooooome!".

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

B Night at the Mikesbury: Baby Dont Bicker No Mo

Bickering Vibe Diatribe on Group makes me heave - Get thee gone devil (debil) of discontent and all hooved malcontents

How much time is wasted?
On he trivial, mundane and untasted?
When will we say...enough is enough
All the while our talented and affluent
Are goin' down the drain as effluent
Where do we find the balls to say
"I've had too much crap, eh Sal?"
What will it take to convince you all
That All The Bickering In The World
Will Never Do?
Why don't you end it now? Please!
Regain your claim of Reason's Crown
Here is an old adage to reclaim royalty
(and save face from the start)

by Ye old English anonymous the hippopotamus

"Don't grumble or grouse
All over the house
Or treat your missuses by yawning

You'll find it worth your while
To give her a smile
When getting up in the morning"

Hope this hopes you...ho ho ho Merry Christmas!!!

Christmas Memories for Y'all

Waking up to find
a magical world of dreams come true
sometimes plastic
sometimes true
of a new special light
in the smiling faces
of tired believers
that there is indeed
hope beyond cope
yes, virginia there is a santa claus
and this isnt any fancy prenup either

This is all there is?
This is all there is!
an empthatic question answered with an exclamation mark
the exclamation mark
great happiness
and joy
that is shared by all loving beings
worldwide on one
very very very
special day
to last us through
all the hell's to come
but heck, the rapture will be better than this, surely?

Christmas reminds one
of the Babe
That All You Need Is Love
Love to sustain us
(through our trials everyday shoppers)
Love to maintain us
(we are high maintainance; that's ok I married a maintenance worker)
Love to hold us
Love to keep us
(I am a kept woman)
In Ploughskeepsie New York forever
locked in at this rate
where we are fond of satisfaction
(I cant get no)
finally shook our hand
(not that way)
and woke up
(to find)
a sugar plum fairy world
the clacky little hooves were heard
late in the night
as my older sisters both
awoke me to
the sounds of typewriter keys
on the roof
(my mother the writer)
the quilt and
milk of human kindness
knows Christmas well
when all that wells up in our hearts
comes out on Christmas day
like I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing In
and then just as swiftly depart
by Courier De Bois
Such synthetic stimulation simulated for us
by Mattel
Never will I forget my talking Bugs Bunny
or my Blue Bike with my odd perm by Anita
the hairdresser who had a shop in her suburban
Toronto bungalow basement
Straight hair forever curly
I like that wave
just a radical change for a popsickle stick kid
Anyone see Orphan Annie?

Reel to Reel
Really reels in those Christmas dreams
as we fished for them
like fishers of men
and yes, women too, thank god we got the vote!
just no the ranking in the ranks quite yet
not wholly so
when invisible
the veils they be
held secret in caves of men bears somewheres

Time for Families and friends and those have nots
to come together
to remember
when we once
only ever
true Love without the pain
when the saviour lived and walked here
how wouldst thou be
what made us is with us here and now
and not in some holding pattern at the airport?

If your love never got off the ground
because you waited too long for never
because never was your calling card
maybe gravity's weightiness
becomes weightlessness freefall
gravity's superball
and you are loved like there is no tomorrow
this is what I wish for you all!

jj 16 12 09

Nights In Microwaveable Sateen

Ears abuzz as the first tower
seeds its energy core
to send right over my house
messages of the microwaveable kind
say goodbye to my brain
i've been made into squash
oozo without the boozo
to quell the constantly constraining
draining drone of electronic omhs
without the "g" of hey I'm ok
this is "great"
or this is "good"
just me against the machine

As the tower
knocks me to my knees
the incessant snake
invades places
you'd never guess
panty raids were tamer
this really is privacy gone mad
once the electronic EMP invasion
who knew angels harps could cause
the old belfry
to crack so

these incessant warrior microwaves
fill my head whilst in bed
dreaded dead knots
my head twists around the sound
S-T-O-P!!! S-T-O-P!!! S-T-O-P!!!
I'm the Microwave Traffic Cop!!!

Sailor's rage
at the sound of the harpys
clammy clamatous sounds on the zither
by Zithar
maybe Mylar?
Who'd ever invent a headache waiting to happen
maybe I should send the tower
a bill for my migraine remedy
befitting for such a lofty zealot

On The Air Tonight
a zillion nanobot radioactive microwaves
which are small little enemies
waiting to spin what was once my own cell
into a living autospin of something
i forgot which
now i must forgoe
as i cant remember much
thanks to the spin
i have tripped out!

These nanobot microwaves
creep into my space
leaving me like a salad spinner
spun out and congealed
like a brain salad machete
i feel like liquid plant extract
ready to rip me open
machete meat cleavers
(opposite of june cleaver)
cause now i am ripe
ripe for the picking
by the scythe drawn reaper
dont fear the reaper
just the damn neuvo high tech that
got me in this mess
(and my dog is dying)
draws me like butter
(i like buttercups)
across the page of my life
to say...whoa...what happened to my concept of solidity
when i have liquified and separated into serum
in a cyclotronic one-eyed plasma maker
Microwave-o-tron-matic...who answers you? eh?
how many more high speed settings
will finally do me in?
who can begin to tell me
go ahead...
i'm screwed!

jj 16 12 09

Sacrificial Offerings

Here in my little ditty world
There in your global portal
reflecting the pure sheen of peerlessness
looks within
for a second
to see
the mirrored surface shines outward
architectural images
I cant see in my window
as what's behind the screen
wont allow the depth
of inner vision
but safely said
these reflection divert and divest
the most dangerous gamma radiation
making swiss cheese anyway
ding ding
the bell rings
is anyone listening
or has sound dulled
our hearing
our visions
our learning
and yearning for more than what we are
needless to say I live with mirrors
and avoid like
the plagues of feng shui
the sin of misplaced self
even though I dont like them(mirrors)
I do like me who only reflects in turn
what is reflected upon

notice just what the mirrors reflect
what the tea leaves read
what the creme of wheat leaves in effigy
that which we want and do not want to see
like too much sea or
not enough land
the balance finds
the same thing
certainly could use some variation
in the variable perimeters given
without showing too many worlds overlapping
making for far too much information
and attention
by the way

all we are and wont to be
wonton and waif
like a lightfooted being
never to touch the earth
like size 00
are you short when you
take off your high heels
height restrictions
he should say
he could say
and did say
"move over stretch"
I want to get past
like I am only allowing
certain passengers past
and understanding of the past
and my feelings lost
on that drift
that made us one with the ditch
and I did like an obedient
punch and judy
moved the earth
the mountain of snowy sky
"tell thee mountain to move"
and it did, it did, it did!!!

she stood at tomorrow doorway lentil
the capstone over her head
now replaced
the window was now wide open
still rivers run through it
glimpses of new worlds
mountains of matter
beckoned and electrofied by Beck
and possibilities
were soon recognized
as being not only probable
but possible
these possibilities realized
these dreams made solid
in the here and now
from then and there
way back within the deepest reaches
these latent subconscious realms
reborn like coccooned larvae
waiting for the moment
of shine, to shine, reshine
resigned to shine forever
in infinities infinite
causal of constant constanza's
circulatous circle route

each person's a window
and there are
many many windows
how many is infinite numbers
(is this really understood?)
here and now
wondering if cookie could believe
her fantastic fortune cookie
good luck
or hear me say
onwards and upwards
and beyond
as these new neonetic partnerships
electromagnetic possibilities
malleable like clay
you can make anything you want
at Alice's restaurant

At Auto Mat's Laundromat
Cookie can be seen
folding and
kneading dough
needing dough
cookie doh!
drifting across oceans
like undone
laundry by laundress
left on the clothes linethe ocean waved by
too long
she while she held onto
while others folded scolded and stole
and caved
all had walked away
she walked towards
calling her back
with stiffled voices
"Come back Cookie"
soon the shepherds folks
clothes wellworn
were only slightly ripped
from the down trodden frayed
covered up
by this overt and saving face
display of affection
Her Fortune said "Love"
"Will bring you great happiness"

When did I first start to believe?
Love could be so much more than this
knowing how sick
and tired of waiting
Godot never answers the phone

Tracks of my blood drawn against
the company line
that endless track of being
a bad line
a bad discord
a bad disconnect
dissention in the ranks?
Say no more!
Off with 'er head
we've got others you know

In the bowels of the Tropic of Cancer
towels to wipe the sweat
the tears
the fears
the long subway drive through
The Holland Tunnel
endless warming trends
one day
too hot t
one day
too cold
to hold onto
anything that further extreme
a long way from our homeostatic being
tit for this
tat for that
this sassy tomale
is on her own
alone again naturally

No answer
only a dead ring tone
on the other end of never
a long drawn out held breath
of dead air time
you're not there
you're just not saying anything
or you're breathing way too heavy

Why didnt you tell me how sick I'd become
trying to go against nature
break the glass ceiling
where pink
cause that colour's not in season's epoch
into millions of pleasing pieces
of ghettoized corporate Americana
held up to the light
burnt to a crisp
to stand on my beleagured own to say
She'll be strong again one holy day

Maybe we'll find
by going back in time
the stolen garden gate
from those gate crashers
the sunken island dreamers
from my backyard graveyard
i didnt even look so much as a peep
freaked out
i kinda stayed that way
no reboot
for this crash victim

Just heard the Garden gate
the clicky latch catched
onto my powerless thumb
(whose thumb was I under number one?)
too close for comfort
now she's really who's?
she's come undone

Look around you
all the down and outs
chia pants
did you see the end of the journey?
or a beginning new world order?
maybe both if you're french

did you flourish in france
with new ideas
or seed bank the fertilizer
as you spread around
the manure
I swear
by my dead Great Aunt's Antibodies
the seed was planted
the ideas were fomenting
like a witches brew of
Irish stew
in a Celtic garden
with You
you certainly were there
werent you?
Jimmy the Lizard King
had just played
and Deep Purple patches
were on the sunset horizon
time to get back
you do belong dont you
I heard that there are so many
exclusive clubs
the excluded feel like extroverts

who knew all could be so cool
as to be cold emotionaly speaking
vacant as a downtown parking lot
after 6 pm
Vacant turns to No Vacancy soon
Hearing the garden gate
slam behind me as I left
that party
time and space
in the here and now
the only landscape
behind us now
when things seem closer
than further away
where they should be
takes on new meaning
reflective and distorted
is no way to be

To see me pine this way
for long lost time channel
in a pinebox forever
full of Acmepinescum
ancient native remedies
to heal from the inside
or the outside in
ending up
at the same place
start up costs a lot

time once held all secret wounds at bay
until the emergency crew got there
to patch up
with some incantation
and wolfbane extract
and exacting cost
life and death
in the fast lane

yes i wanted out with such sickening insistence
and inference
to whoa slow down
why you trippin' so fast
where you goin' in such a hurry?
cant you make this moment last if not for this minute
at least for this forever zen nanosecond
is that too much to ask
for a Christmas present?
from a wizard of zoom?

Dunced down
by my foreign correspondent
my facebook friend that would never be
because she thinks
(she can think?)
really you liked me
like a reeled in grouper
a fish out of water
something to be admired
for it's vast differentials?
spin that on your gyroscopic turntable
yes tables do turn
what happens to the plumbing when they turn?

If you see me
as a talentless, tactless mess
youre right
I've become that what I have been told
"you'll end up like your Aunt D in Mississippi"
or some closer version to the madhouse
who knew
that which the minions knew
held close
education at a premium
the high stake game
who holds the knowledge keys in the power
turns the lock
lying there all along
just under
the ground

this I did not know
along with so many more things
held secret
held close
as tight as to the collared of the coloured white ties
the educational premium
out of range
my price range anyway
exclusive club
of wannabes who get it right
110 percent of the time
no doesnt come cheap
it is as priceless as
yes is free

lots of woebegotten
held tightly together
with crazy glued parameters
deemed unneccessary to teach
cant forget the frayed fray
at Christmas
those usurperd paramours
they'll come undone
with transplanted memories
and vacant stares
across empty spaces
how to help the multitudes
we few
fragments of the clothe
take up the cross
burdens be light
the night comes swiftly
as a thief
ne'er knowing the day
or time of hour
the clock is ticking
it is 11:59 pm
Bewitching hour
for the undead

"I am not the beast to sufer this dream
this nightmare under warantee
could I not be the unblemished calf
with a dose of clear and clean
all is awash in that upline of
multistreams of income coming from
the light; Lord please do me right!"

jj 16 12 09

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Wish Lists for Christmas and Beyond

"Be careful your wishes; you may just get what you had wished." This sentence did hound me for some time; not understanding what it really meant. And then I thought of the analogy of the star. In Grade 8 we had a small year book put together in the copier room (does anyone remember mimeograph chemicals? No, neither do I!). It was always inventive this question posed to the graduating class. If you had one wish what would it be? Or rather; if you had one wish what you would like to be; what would that be? Well, of course everyone gave the goofist of answers (not sure of goofist is a word; well it is now). What did I want to be? In Grade 8? Secretly I wanted to be an astronomer, however, Grade 8 introduced me to "The play's the thing" or rather playing the character of Belle in Charles Dickens play adaptation of The Christmas Carol. We had two teachers in Grade 8. The morning teacher was Mrs. (maybe I shouldnt name names here) and she was the principal for the other half of the day. She really liked me. The other teacher was Mrs. T (best I do not breach this subject) who did not like me.
Mrs. S. gave me the role of Belle, Ebenezer Scrooges' early love interest who he later dumped for the high stakes game at High Gate. (was Ebenezer a C.A., lawyer, or taxperson; I am not sure...?) Nonetheless, in my new found love of theatre and public speaking I decided to become an "actress" since I got "rave reviews" from Mrs. S. Yes, I could do no wrong in Mrs. S's eyes, I was one of Mrs. S's favourite pets.
However, Mrs. T. the afternoon battleaxe did not share the same opinion of me for whatever reason and I could do no good. There was one remembrance of a complete one half hour reprimand after my stellar appearance in the class play. For some reason Mrs. T. did not think that I should receive such accolades so soon as certainly I was not as bright as Scott in grammar and math.
Oh well. To further remove myself from being henpecked by Mrs. T of the afternoon, I became slightly rebellious. I had to believe in myself again. So the yearbook question posed "What did you want to be in your life". I should have answered "Sister Theresa" however there was no such known entity at that time. I am sure Mrs. T was creating mayhem for me so that I would don the habit and take up my family's commitment to "Supporting The Mount".
However, unbeknownst to me, I had decided to serve the worldly master, and instead of saying "I want to be a missionary" or "I want to be a nun" I said I wanted to be a "Superstar". This did not go over very big with Mrs. T. who came very close to abuse if not outright psychological abuse during my long public berating session.
Needless to say I never became a Superstar. Certainly not in Mrs. T's eyes. However, the powers that be said that I would get my wish one day. There is some saint saying "Did you know Miss Jane never got her wish". And then the powers that be suddenly and with great aplum turn me into this Giant Inferno Small Dwarf star (I always wanted to be small).
You can see me burning nightly with quiet rage in the Pleidian section of the galaxy. No no the Galaxy Theatre. No not Hollywood. Although I do shine down upon all the Canadian Superstars that did find London Ontario a wonderful launching ground to their stellar careers.
Maybe when and if I should make a wish in the future I will be much more specific about the requirement of that wish. Something akin to a pre-wish contract which states infactically the EXACT contract requirements of said wish.
Again, I do admit that was a dumb wish made by a very bubble-headed blonde. I should have chosen sad sack clothe and ashes. That would have been more befitting of my parochial upbringing.
No wonder I headed to a public school as soon as possible. Sometimes psychological torture survivalist is not the best prerequisite for further education. Although it did help in life, you could say, the grind. Martyrs never had it easy, so why should I? Life is full of problem solving, and we should welcome difficulties not an easy button.
Oh yes, there was no easy button in the early 1970's. Well maybe for some. Not for me. School of Hard Knocks for the Sweathogs. Not a feather nest but certainly not at all unexpected. Like a bad dream one gets used to the certain reality one must face in the future. NOt sure if this is Confusious but it should be!
Here is my adult Christmas Wish List

1. A real understanding of how to really solve all of life's

2. Unfinished business finished.

3. An awakening or rebirth of consciousness to the point of
understanding we are spirit manifests and not worldly
manifestations of life.

4. God waking up beside me in bed. (Oh this is kinky and
maybe this should take on more of an Adult Content only
theme)ps this did happen once in a dream!

5. No sickness. No death. No greed. Nothing negative, ever.

6. The ability to float at will.

7. Can eat all the fat I want without getting fat.

8. Purposefulness to life. That we will all know the end
of the story and be able to make all our lives meaningful
before it is too late.

9. That everyone will realize their full potential and
talents. (How Humanist of Abrams and Maslow movement or
what is known today as Spiritual Psychology)

10. No enemies only friends.

11. No hidden agendas by anyone.

12. Honest, straightforward respect and love given and
received by all people.

13. Creative inspiration and evolving ethics. We ARE getting
better all the time. (Beatles)

14. That viruses, bacteria and fungi, etc would make us
healthy not sick. We are not deevolving or decomposing
but rather are fufilling a wonderful light-filled
spiritual which will one day or now involve the material
world which turned good after being bad for so long!

15. That there are no more gaps in understanding between the
Romanticist and the Scientist. The feelings and thoughts
are equally respected.

16. Everyone is equal and fairly treated. There is no room
for greed on my wish list. Everyone gets everything they
need. Even if that need is a blue corvette or a house
in the Hamptons. Your wish is my command! Tell me
what you want. Fantasies are not only fufilled;
funtasies are reality 24-7.

17. Ever tear that ever was will be wiped away and hidden
in the ocean of forgetfullness. (needed: faith lots of
faith here, this is doable; just need faith now!)

18. That all experience the love and joy of the season and
the true meaning of the season; LOVE!!!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Garnet Ringo Jingo

The sound of burnished old money
crackling ambers in the autoclave
The smell of old blood worn thin
liverwurst on rye
got the bee's knees on my pinky finger
garnet ring
like a tiger, tiger
shining bright
giving strength
to muscle lost
push comes to shove
is blood red
in my corpuscled brain
closed eyes in the sun
seeing through blood red
closed eyelids
my life is my red blood

throughly evoking
power of the sun
just the right shade
to do the right thing
lending credence
required energy levels
needed to sustain life
stablize the earth's energies
save the soul of all animosa
great divergences
great divides
running the spectral gamut
from thin red to thick red
from bright poppy cadmium red
the redheads are a fiery bunch
frightfully fightful
even for The Waltons or Brady Bunch
As red is like no other
some prefer their hair to be less red
opting for more auburn shades
i prefer redheads by Revlon
autumnal from tint and tone
the value of red
panty raid
the quality of
life itself
pure as the driven snow
with a long-stemmed red rose
red and white
blood-lusty flag
willingness to die
for belief
held close to the heart
entwined in time
blood is thicker than water
and snow splattered with life
where's the cup
to drink it up
heart being
pulsing red
Garnet Ring
reminding me

My masonic husband
maybe the Invisible Man
who still has blood
cursing through
his see-through veins
reminding one of all these
analogies to red
and Nash's Jewelry Store
Estate Sale Today!
The garnet ring shines
great earthly pleasures
yet far greater
unknown than known
the hidden secrets
held by blood packs
held by blood pacs
in Red Cross ambulances
for Emergency Surgery
the trauma was Love
Life's flow
gone wrong
turned tainted
bad blood

Garnet is not Ruby Red
but she knew Garnet too
and from this epic romance
rivals challenged
a pithy blood feud
from entombed Feudal Lords
etched stone recently rubbed
over and over
for comfort of battleworn and battle losses
of things removed
from touchstone cairns
created long lost rings
unanswered truth stores
in cubbyholes
ship dead entombed manifests
of lost at sea immigrants
gigantic waves
on far shores
lapping over
tipping over
bowling over
any known fairness to Fate
Classical gods
bleeding from
marbled tear drops
even the cold stone
has blood's
which drip
from the very
tastes like balogna now
liverwurst's taste weakened
no iron-rich food source
to sustain renewed life
unless plead the blood over all
The Lost Souls

Garnet Ring
remembers these things
ring true
like loud gongs
on the bell jar curve
deafening sound
from the stratosphere
only angels fear
yet we play harps
that seal the 7th seal
Armageddon for Argamemnon

the bells ring
hear yea, hear yea,
they can hear
sounds of great joy
clearly apart from the blood-lusty fray
their blood is purified rare
without taint of earth's iron mix
flowing freely
this water pure
ozone high
no sulfur mix
only sin to be shed in this save our souls
from the burden of blood
why must iron hold us down so?

"garnet rings
ruby red things
flood covers
a multitude
ring shines forth
red lasar beams
like the new day sun
awakening in me
a new day too
to begin again

painted toes
bright red
press on
not the only thing
this diva's got pressed too
and not just between the sheets
lots of red naughty things
goings on
glimmersticks kiss
with ruby red lips
garnet and gartered gartersmen
The Order of the Garder bestowed
for me lucky lady
a night of passion
nights in red satin
after the white sheets wore out

all dressed up
in esoteric shades of red
Lady In Red
Man In Garnet
Will Scarlet enters
and exits
stage right

as your late great aunt
bequeathed in her will
her wonderful garnet ear rings
Travels With My Aunt and
Auntie Mame
Garnets are a goils best friend!
travels in time all the time
Timex Seiko and Panasonic Sony too
80 Days Around The World
now it takes
80 nanoseconds how I love you!
tripping the garish garnished (some say pickled)
light fantastic
Garnet Rings true
round and round my carouselled
corpuscled and flatulent
red brain of joy juice
make mine wine
ruby red
garnet ring"

Thank you for the miracle that is red today!

jj 12 12 09

Friday, December 11, 2009

Discussing EGO today. Not Super Ego or ID. Today we will talk strictly EGO.

First, we need a definition of EGO. Ego is the mind's concept of self or "me". The ego is the conscious part of the brain when one wakes up from a dream and remembers one's name. For example "Good morning world, I (Dick/Henrietta) am happy to be alive". So the remembrance of one's name and the concepts that go along with the name or ego is the ego. But ego is much more than just name alone. Ego is beyond all else created and moulded.

When we are younger versions of self, or babies, we come slowly into a realization of self. Our ego has the basic building blocks of individualization which is ego. Ego has a strong predistination, predermination, but itis not wholly cut from stone. It is mallable, like clay, it is formed from raw material (maybe even matter). Like building blocks the ego is multifaceted and multilayered with many experiences which molds the ego into what it "is" or "becomes".

Ego can be either environmentally derived or made from purely genetic predetermined material (or matter, genetically speaking). Usually the ego is made up of 50/50 environmental to genetic but not always. There are always amendments to these hard and fast rules of ego definition. At this time, there is not an adequate definition for ego. Ego is a very complex entity which science is trying to determine and adequately label in definition.

Since the ego is both environmental and genetically manipulated to a varying extent, it is changeable; malleable. However, the ego is wholly supported by the ID and Superego to a certain degree depending on the needs of the ego or individual at that time. Briefly here; the ID is the need of the body the "I need". The Superego is the "I want". The Superego is the ego's fragile hyper self inflated by love of maintaining ego to any and all extreme. Superego is a paranoid defence to inflate the ego to superhuman means. It gets complicated when defining the Superego without examples. The Clark Kent/Superman would be a good analogy. Clark Kent represents the ego and Superman represent the Superego. The Hulk or the Beast from Beauty and The Beast represent the repressed psycho-sexual urges of the Id. These are basic analogies; the real human being; Id Ego and Superego are much more complicated than these simple analogies, there is much more subtle fluctuations which will be discussed later in the actual human being test subject.

It is virtually impossible to remove the ego from the human being unless that person is no longer understanding the "who am I" or fails to recognize their designated namesake. For people to recognize that the ego almost always stops the soul from progressing to higher levels of consciousness is obvious. All the GIGO a person or ego accumulates does make for some clogged up synapses which does not permit access to the parts of the brain which are labelled the "god parts of the brain". Some research into the pineal gland in the brain's limbic system for example is case in point. The secretion of said pineal gland hormones can and does produce the heightened sense of spirit invading the person's mind, body and soul. This gives proof that the ego can separate from the attachment to the person, but then, the person is actually unaware they are a "person" as they become part of the universe.

Cosmic consciousness allows the ego an escape hatch from self and all the "baggage" or GIGO that entails. The need to feel free is cosmic consciousness. The soul's need to be pure spirit. To become one with the universe. To achieve nirvana or heaven here and now in the moment, zen-like on earth is heaven.

Ego needs to be understood for what it is and what it represents to the human being. Humans must understand that beyond being "Suzie, Billy, Linda or Jimmy" they are first and foremost a soul which is a unified being with the cosmos. The ego is a gestalt pattern which is predetermined for us, if not in part, in its entirety. If the human being were allowed to understand how the soul is captured by the ego this would raise man's consciousness level to a new bench mark and enable the human being to achieve much more than ID or Superego greedy self-defeating and paranoic survivalist "fight or flight" response to all that we see and do here on this plane of existence on this place we have called "earth".

Labels have made us what we are today. Our names make us who we are. The way people respond to us, positively or negatively has made the person who they are or are not. The limits that labels have created for the individual predispose us to a fated world. The real limitlessness of spirit and soul imbibing in the spirit of the infinite is a much finer and refined reality. One that the human potentialist movement has tried to obtain and maintain since Maslow and Abrams first introduced it in Psychology research in the 50's - 60's I believe.

In conclusion, the ego is the definition or label we apply to a person. It is an avatar brief description of something which is merely face value. Ego does not have a soul it has a definition of self. That self can feel strongly possessed by its definition or waiveringly out of control as in aberant psychology. Ego is not as strong as the Souls recognition of self, which goes far beyond the ego labelling and sterotyping. The Soul is, after all eternal, the ego is finite.

jj 10 12 09

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Buzz B. Likely chats with Dr. Joe Schmoe

Dr. Joe Schmoe: Good morning/afternoon/evening uninvited guests of the program. Today I'd like to introduce you to my friend and mentor Buzz B. Likely. Hey, Buzz, how you've been, what's been happening in your neck of the woods?

Buzz B.: Oh not too much Joe, pretty much the same old.

Dr. Joe: Buzz, really? Sounds like you need a reboot. Are things really that boring at the ok used moose car lot?

Buzz B: Well, yeah, sort of dullsville. There are moments between extremely boring long stretches that seem to go on forever and ever, amen. To quote a famous country songster Randy Travis!

Dr. Joe: Hey, Buzz B...you used to be the d.j. to "get the party goin'"...what happened?

Buzz B: Guess you can call it burnout or the middle years slump. Maybe the dreaded "round-tuit", when I get "round-to- it I know it's too late and therefore not happenin', if you get my drift?

Dr. Joe: Oh sure, Buzz, I get your drift..it is like this, you are sometimes awash in the wrong vibe, and need to recalibrate to the right vibration to "get the party going". You may need to re-metabolize the old energy cycle. Have I got a remedy for you!

Buzz B: Really? That would be cool. It's all natural and legal I assume, Dr.?

Dr. Joe: AbSOULutely. And it's RAW!!!

Buzz B: Youre kiddin' right?

Dr. Joe: No joke, man!

Buzz B: Yeah, well man it sure would be fine to get some renewed spirit wine. Fruit of the vine, that sort of thing. New wine dont exactly fit into this old wine skin.

Dr. Joe: That's right Buzzbe; that's why I thought you'd be the one to benefit from the new development I just lucked into. You and a million or so left over and soon forgotten boomer kids! You know we are going to bust the system with our senior needs soon.

Buzz B: You're right Joe! I remember all that partying in the 70's took it's toll. Hardly have an ounce of energy considering all the ounces that once were denouced! Times change, I guess I didnt!

Dr. Joe: It's not that you need to go in for a total transformation or 100 percent redo. When you hit the middling years; the 50's you need to rethink strategy. It is a different big picture. Things come into perspective; the raison d'etre taking on a purposefullness missed "by these eyes before" to quote the Guess Who's Burton Cummings!

Buzz B: No kidding, man! I really find myself tired all the time. I have no get up and go. I heard on the radio this a.m. that it may be "metabolic syndrome". Do you know anything about this?

Dr. Joe: Not that much, I am learning so dont quote me here; again I am not a real dr just portraying one on this cool chiccoreal blog "logb". This chic who thought up this was really far out. Reminds me of the hippy chick I dated in Detroit once. Her brother was a brain surgeon. How cool is that?

Buzz B: Well that is awfully cool man. I guess it would be really cool to be a neurosurgeon. I call my kind of brain surgery "brain salad surgery" from the album by was it Jeff Beck? Oh man, I really am showing my age!

Dr. JOe: Hey, man, I am as old as you are, I can relate! Dont let "it bring you down, it's only castles burning, find someone who's yearning and you will come around". Hey who sung that one? My short term memory has gone...up in smoke! Well, I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later! Now for the aging baby boomers naturopathic remedies for all those misspent "wasted days and wasted nights" (I am thinking that song was in the 50's...really dating me now...) I must give credence to all those survivors of the 50's 60's and 70's the FLOWER POWER children...who VINI VIDI VICI'd the whole enchilada. Man, I bet we have some real cool stories combined to make a few tall tales! Anyway, back to the home remedies...

Buzzb: Yeah, what are they; I kinda drifted in and out of consciousness with that last diatribe!

Dr. Joe: Stay awake the time is at hand. The time and hour unknown it will come like a theif in the night. That's Biblical! Got to keep my Born Agains happy!

Buzz B: For sure, man, I can dig it!

Dr. Joe: So if you want to stay fit at 50 you have to get in tune with the right metabolic diet for you and that means...go RAW..go green. No white flour, no white sugar, no white pasta, all that. Stay away from allergens. NKnow how to say no...portion size. Get into healthy living eating being!

Buzz B: How do I do that?

Dr. Joe: An old colleague of mine said that white sugar is white death.

Buzz B: But I love sugar, man! It's in EVERYTHING..how do I quit sugar?

Dr. JOe: Slowly, suredly. You have to wean off sugar it is a drug to the body. You have to introduce natural sugars like HONEY SUGAR. Where do you get honey sugar? Well...I think natural honey, and Royal Bee Jelly is the best, has all the vitamins and amino acids the body needs. Of course there is some red/green algae too, and than you need to watch SALT. Too much salt in everything today!

Buzz B: For sure man, those doritos chips and McDonalds have WAY TOO much salt. You'd think I just gulped a mouthfull of salt water from the ocean. Yuke! After I eat some food I feel crappy, is this why?

Dr. Joe: Exactly Buzz B my friend, you need to find the right diet for your body. In fact you need to find what kind of blood type you are and research what kind of food you should be eating for your particular blood type needs. Once you get the swing of getting off the junk food, you will never feel "wasted again in Margeritaville" unless you happen to be Wasted again in Margeritaville for real, man! Thanks to Warren or is that Jimmy Buffet! I remember, jimmy! The Buffet drawer Jimmy..isnt there an artist called Buffet?

Buzz B: That's DuBuffet man..he's awesome. Does these huge blue dogs I think I saw his work at the M.O.M.A. in NY NY. Man that was awesome. I digress but I really love the Jackson Pollocks...they were ALIVE, man..they were breathing! Oh maybe they just looked that way. Could have been the Wild Turkey and skunk I got on the long buz ride from Canada! Hahah that was in the early 80's man!

Dr. Joe: See, Buzz, you can remember! We will get those old memory cells firing back again in no time. Just got to reboot the old bod by making the right "adjustments" to the gigo.

Buzz B: What's the GIGO?

Dr. Joe; Garbage in = Garbage Out...so you want Good In and then Good out...dig it man!

Buzz B: Hey man, thanks for the lesson today. It was really cool to be able to learn something today. I think I am going to my refridgerator to get a RAW carrot and CELERY and eat that first thing in the am with a big glass of clear and clean water with a lemon zinger tea after that and maybe I can eat porridge. My blood type says i should stay off wheat.

Dr. JOe: Ok buzz you do that and tell me how you feel after a week on the raw diet. It is better than any buzz you can get being healthy. You'll see how good youll feel. Plus, work out on the Elliptical 3 x's a day for 100 revolutions until you are not tired out. Then well add weights. Also, do you have a swivel chair? Good, then you can swivel like on those 200 plus adds (hey the swivel chair is free!) and you can hula chair your abs...how cool is that! and it is fun to when you listen to the good ol' rock n roll. After a week or two you'll be back to the old buzz in no time flat!

Buzz B: Right on! Give it a try. If I can find the strength!

Dr. Joe: You can do it but dont do it if you are sick. if you are sick go easy or you could have a cardiac incident.

Buzz B: Do you mean a heart attack?

Dr. Joe: Yah! Dont do anything without a dr. saying it is ok. There could be underlying heart problems or other medical things that could interfere with being successful at rebooting the body. We want to be safe first and foremost. Plus your doc can adjust your levels of exercise and diet to fit with your fitness level. I have heard of the most healthiest of people jog to the point where they have a heard attack, just because they pushed themselves too much when they were sick and should have taken it a lot easier. Remember there is a balance to all things, yin and yang. Knowing this balance is the start to health. We'll get there. Call me back in a week Buzz B. I really want to see how you are doing. Ok?

Buzz B: You got it doc! Thanks!

Dr. Joe: Remember: "let the good times roll"...for sure!Rock n roll!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What's The Buzz: Buzz On The Street

Buzz here! Glad to be here today to report on all the wierd and wonderful, fantastic and phatomagoric (sp?) aspects in Aspen...Hey Anna Karina...I'm not in Aspen yet. Flight delay to the John Denver; do I feel like I missed the plane? Zee plane? What plane? I meant the PLANET. I missed the PLANET! Is there REALLY a JOHN DENVER INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT? How "Final Destinationisn-ish". Well the buzz on the street today;

Shirley The Signal Corps gal can do better than that incessant buzz on the old belfry. Can anyone say "G-O-N-G" show? You'd think that the noise was in preparation for the planned soiree later this week...THE CHRISTMAS PARTY. Don't forget to get your PARTY FAVOURS! My favourite flavour today is VANILLA...real vanilla please!

Noticing a drop in the barometric pressure today; we're in for some stormy weather. MAYBE SNOW!!! For all you SNOWBABIES. Maybe the hills will open soon; Praying the the Snowglobe I got last Christmas will render its magic soon! And to think..I JUST FIGURED out how to turn it on...beautiful lights...thanks Auntie Em!

Damn cat stayed out all night. That meant I was calling BAXTER in ALL NIGHT. And no BAXTER! Where did he go? Only half of him was cold when he finally DECIDED to come home at 5 am. But he sure helped himself to a HEAPING load of TUNA. Man I love tuna sandwiches. Need I say more. Sure you know this about me by now.

After Baxter and the two concubines ate their tuna they snuggled up on their favourite kitty nest. I would love to build a kitty tree, those are so cool! Baxter always is on the cedar chest by my work station here. He loves preening away and he is soooo cuddly on his extra-fleece dog blanket. It is so damp out today I had to turn the heat up this am. Cranky! Sure would know where Baxter goes to keep warm. Maybe the bottom of the boat or the old X150. He must sleep with his butt hanging out of the wool sweater I put there in case he should decide NOT TO COME IN OVERNIGHT. I am horse from calling him in! Damn cat!

Not much snow here today, maybe an inch here and there not totally covered on the grass; melting fast. With wintertime comes out the wonderful "Catherine the Great" or Anna Karina clothes; anything Cherry Orchard after the first snows. And today IS December 1st 2009 so it is FITTING that we would have snow overnight to crown the 1st day of December. Saying an early Happy Birthday to Doris; you know who you are; so there ya go; a mention here on What's The Buzz. "May all your days be wonderfully buzzed and bright shiny and new!" Love you Doris...not to be confused with Jerry Seinfeld's "Doris"...Jerry...naughty!

Today is abSOULutley a fine start to a fine month of party going. Do you have your decorations up yet? I found an old silk POINSETTIA plant in the office and I am trying to get up the nerve to get the TICKLE TRUNK from the basement with it's loaded up reserves of anything festive. Is only there were an PEASY button for this chore! No, I am afraid not. However, being in the spirit means...yes it means...everything is EASY PEASY...and a breeze. Taking it EASY PEASY AND smooth sailing all month.

Again...THE BUZZ is...I have been hearing a high pitch BUZZ in my ears all night for the past 3 weeks..but only in the early am. Not sure if that is the time it is quiet enough to hear what is going on in my inner ear or not. Maybe I need to clear out the sinuses. Does anyone have a good remedy for this? Maybe I will set up my own HAARP or HADRON collider will do the trick. No need to worry about which signal on the old radio channel. Damn microwave tech! Buzz towers begonia!
ps Any remedy here which isnt too dramatic would be most appreciated..maybe silicon earplugs?

Well, today is the first day of the rest of my buzz. This new and time honoured tradition will be taking up at least, hopefully a weekly position on the old chiccoreal blog. If you have anything you'd llike to add to this bullletin please submit and I will tack it on...if you'd prefer to remain in your prospective les and ANONYMOUS..please tell me that as well. Last thing anyone wants at Christmas is uncivil civil action. If you catch the next snow drift.

Have a wonderful time in ASPEN. And say hi to John Denver by offering him "you fill up my senses" sinus spray at the kiosk. Also tell him to play "Annie's Song" for me so I can have a good tear...I hear that also clears up the boggy. Until that time when I too can hear; "Sunshine pon My Shoulders" as I sloosh down those slops from Dumb and Dumberer, remember; bundle up and look gnarly; I'm watching you on the DENVER SNOW CAM!!! hahah! Have fun!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

cold war on a hot day

Young Anna Belle looked laxidaisically distracted; day dreams brought about by the sheer heat of the midday summer sun. Her usual happy mood distracted; reflective of the pending hesitation felt by many during those days of summer 1963. The heart of the cold war era, always on the back of the mind of the local citizenry, would today be the day "the big one went off". The fears and collected dreams of citizens tuned into the atomic bomb channel which constantly told the public "this is just a test of the emergency broadcasting station" or "don't turn that dial". Fear bred fear and the young Anna Belle was not immune. Her inability to be cajoled into a peaceful mini nap indicator of the alarm that was soon to sound, awakening in the conscious mind the fear to beat all fears; complete armageddon.

A heavy topic for a five year old who trying to get a grasp on the basic construct of her world could not inhabit a peaceful one. Where the threat was real; tenable; we were under direct threat we were inches away from nuclear incineration. People would envision the horrors in their dreams to prepare them for the reality if this should coccur; the repeating dream of the mushroom cloud in the background of a typical suburb, a bit of a dictomy, considering the two extremes; peaceful mayhem. The conscious could lie for the unconsicous fears, but eventually, the exhaustion and fear wore out the masses and the common place became something to fear and dread. Paranoia whether real or imagined can work this way, coyly toying with the logical mind, fear wanting to master the complacency and state of mind.

For Anna Belle and her family, the cold war could not help but make inroads into their post war perfected world, a world where fear not only bred fear but slowly was unravelling the way of life which was solid and true. All tenets of the faith being questioned by the possible pending nuclear disaster to come, in thought or deed the brain does not realize this difference. The brain responds to fear, real or imagined; and certainly this pending disaster was made real by the constant reminders on the news, on the new media of television, in Time and Life magazine, on the radio.

For Anna Belle and her family, the threat was real just not discussed to any extent. The news media did enough to promote the very real fear mongering which hopefully would save our lives. We as citizens knew not much would be alive if we took a direct hit. We were a large Canadian city. Were there bombs pointed on us? If so, how many? How would we find out? How close were we to disaster, really? Just underneath the surface, the surface to air missiles, the breaking the sound barrier jets were on stand-by on the ready at moment's notice. Anna Belle would be playing in her backyard and heard overhead the sonic booms while flying at the 30,000 foot level. She could see them flying quickly across the sky and then boom they were gone into the blue beyond.

In this cold war era of fear brought about by the very real potential of complete annihilation or atomic disaster, the entire country was awash in fear. Complete distrust of anything, any neighbour, any action unnatural. Those who acting out of sorts in any way was dismissed readily without trial or jury. They became the enemy on the land and were to be mistrusted and watched.

The immediate need to find a face for the fear became typical of the nature of the human beast and the nature of the scapegoat. Anything which did not seem even remotely democratic in nature was questioned and scrutinized.

These heated dog days of summer should have been buccolic and languidly peaceful, yet there was a sound, unheard which wore on the collective soul. An young child such as Anna Belle could she would, never, understand the adult world. Of why people could think destruction, why they would want to do this. It wasnt in her Anna Belle mindset. The only thing which really struck fear in Anna Belle at five was the Saturday morning air raid sirens and the constant "this is a test" blaring not so innocently from the t.v. commercials.

There would never be a time at this time at the pinnacle of the cold war to let go of attentiveness of the moment, never to let down one's guard or defences for a moment. The cold war was an never-ending threat, what would it take to restore peace in a breeched and unbalanced nuclear world? Like an unwelcomed guest in the livingroom who would never go home. This looming and unwelcome presence a wholly unnatural thing, especially in the dream-like suburbs. What was a heavenly dream for the babyboomers became for a time a nightmare to be lived much like World War II and the constant air raids.

When the midday sun could now become the mushroom cloud spelling the end to all the endless days of summer, and the end of the world as all understood the world to be. As the endless and once happy sounds of summer, once so peaceful and serene now a constant reminder each balmy Saturday afternoon exactly at noon could spell disaster. No one knew the time or the place as it says in the Bible; "I come like a thief in the night".

Anna Belle was not thinking about the bomb but it effected her unbeknownst. If Anna Belle appeared despondent to her everyday surroundings it was not due to the air raid siren. She was feeling the angst of social taboo. In this background, the moment world inhabited by all five year olds seemed less of a threat than the adults felt, or did it? Soon the weighty midsummer heat would entice the sleep response, and all things were made dozey. Usually these dog days of summer would cause all to drift peacefully into sleep. In this moment in time, Anna Belle would become a little more worldly earlier than her five years could manage.

The year 1963. One more time Anna Belle awakened to her surroundings, nudged awake from the constant distant drones of far away lawn mowers and the paddering of Donna Weller's snake-like sprinkler left on past lunchtime. From where Anna Belle sat on the floor of her Toronto suburb she could clearly see the snakehead whipping around ad hoc. Even that uneven movement could not tempt her from her sleeplike staring out the bellowing white lace curtains breathing animatingly with each slight warmed summer breezy gust.

No shadows were visible at this high noontime. The sun, the superball protoplasm beating heat on the warmed planet from its mantled placement deep in the baby blue sky. Anna Belle's big blueberries eyes were half-lidded, heavy with sleep and near to dream-state. The natural summer siesta before lunchtime in the extreme summer heat when all activity was almost non-existent. There were now only ripples of movement of waivering pavement heat from the highway beside Anna Belle's house. The steady stream of zooming cars were hypnotically continuing the everyday lullabye sounds on this typical lazy Saturday in July.

Anna was thinking about how hungry she was becoming and remembering her usual attempts at begging cookies from the mennonite lady across the street. Donna's mom had probably made her cookies earlier than usual, this being Saturday. Anna Belle would have to wait til Monday to show up extra early for a couple of peanut butter or her favourite oatmeal raisin cookies.

Earlier today, Anna Belle had been playing quietly with her dolls and listening to the Ray Coniff singers, South Pacific musical, or the Lemmon Sisters on her family's phonograph in the livingroom. The endless waiting for her Mom to call her for lunch made her nod off while playing with her dolls. Anna Belle had already washed hands.

Anna Bell could now distinctly smell the mushroom soup on the stove and the broiled open cheese sandwiches. Then there was the fresh smell of butterscotch pudding. "Anna, time for lunch!" Anna Belle's mother called her into the kitchen. Anna yelled "Yippee!" and ran to the kitchen. Anna Belle's sister had gone to a friend's house for the weekend, and her older sister was away at camp for the week. Her Dad had gone over to the Wellers to talk with Mr. Weller about hardware stuff like lumber. Mr. Weller worked at the hardware store close to downtown. "Daddy will have to grab a bite when gets in later this afternoon were going to Morgan's at the Cloverleaf Mall to get you a new pair of runners". Mrs Pott's had noticed Anna Belle's shoes were wearing and decided a trip to the mall was in order; a nice diversion for the two of them.

This being Saturday and almost noon awakened Anna Belle atomatically. The early warning system for nuclear attack; the air raid sirens could be loudly heard each Saturday from their position in the middle part of the suburban Toronto. Soon they would be tested as they were every Saturday since Anna could remember. This Saturday not much was happening, there were no bikes or parades on this midsummer day. The Highlanders often marching on parade down the Westway each Saturday a.m. morning was always wonderful to watch for Anna and the neighbours in Etobicoke, but this Saturday was just to hot to do too much but head to the beach or the nearest pool, usually a kiddie pool in the backyard or play slippery snake. Anna Belle hated to be sprayed especially by neighbourhood boys who loved using their water pistols on the unsuspecting Anna Belle. Often Anna Belle would run home in tears, she hadn't learned the art of how to deal with brothers or boys in general. Anna Belle thought most boys were yucky accept Georgie her kindergarten teacher's son.

"Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" the loud drone of the Saturday early warning system was in full throttle. Anna Belle grabbed her ears. "Mommy, I hate that sound, why do they do that?" Anna Belle was frowning as she pulled in her chair at the 50's steel and arborite table. "Anna Belle it is in case of a nuclear attack". President Kennedy has been having an awful lot of trouble with people who rather us not have our freedoms" Anna Belle's mom said assuringly. "Don't worry, dear, it'll be over soon". After five seemingly endless minutes, the screaming air raid siren was silenced; at least for another week.

Anna Belle "I'm glad it's over mommy, it makes my ears hurt". Mrs Potts tried to change the subject, "Anna, would you like to go to Morgan's to get a new pair of running shoes?". Anna got excited at that idea. "Oh yes, mommy, that would be fun!" "Ok Anna Belle, we'll go as soon as you help me dry the dishes". Anna Belle rushed to get out of her chair and ran to the sink. "I'm ready!"

Everyone knew by the early sixties that there would not be much of a sliver of hope if Toronto became ground zero for a nuclear bomb. All those instructional films did not bely the fact that one could not hide beneath a desk and survive a direct hit. It was almost comical.

Without much fanfare, Anna Belle's school did have "the drill" and the teachers would teach everyone to get out of the school, like a fire drill. There was no hiding under desks, only once in kindergarten did Anna Belle remember her Japanese teacher showing how to cover the head with the arms over the head.

Earlier in the day Anna Belle's mother had been making macaroon coconut cookies, perfectly toasted with a small marachino cherry in the middle. They tasted so heavenly to Anna Belle and she loved it when baking day had made the weeks supply of baked goods. Anna Belle still recalled the warm butterscotch pudding just warm enough where there would be a skin on top of the pudding which Anna loved to eat. When things got upsetting Anna Belle would often think of food to placate her mood. It did for a time comfort the young girl. As far as food, Anna liked things that others did not like fat on steak she'd prefer to eat than the meat. Her favourite 50's meat and potatoes meals were always on time and appreciated. Anna Belle's favourite being mashed potatoes with real butter mixed with corn. Anna Belle did not recall margarine before the early 60's; to Anna Belle and family margarine was not invented The milk came in bottles delivered by the milkman in the early 60's. The Beatles were singing Twist N' Shout. Anna Belle could twist in her tunic as well as her sister's and her favourite Beatle was Ringo.

Anna could not wait to load into the silver bullet, her mom's car and head out to the mall. It was always special and she usually got a treat if she behaved herself. She was always a good kid, and never talked back or made a huge fuss. Anna was always curious, and if there was one thing slightly annoying about the young girl is that she always preficed her sentences with "why?". Her dad always had the answer "because, that's why". Anna would persist but would give up after the tenth "why".

Anna Belle loved her parentdearly, her sisters, her city, Toronto where there were always fun things to see and do, it was an exciting time in the booming city always under change, but for this brief time in the early 60's before the huge construction boom less than hurried, even by Toronto development standards. Anna Belle would walk her dog pollie the collie always accompanied by her older sisters. She loved being the baby of the family, but never felt spoiled.

Being there with her two sisters on an usual Saturday would mean a definite daily trip to the corner store after supper. There would be ratfink rings to purchase or superballs to replace the one that flung into the troposphere on more than one occasion. Anna Belle loved buying blackballs for a penny where she would help herself to the candy. She loved her new found independence, stopping off at the store before heading home to watch Superman reruns or Disney's Mouseketeer Club. How Anna Belle wanted to have mouse ears.

On this day the hottest of days, the parents would discuss going to Wasaga Beach cottage. When there would be a long lull between summer holidays each sister would get a quarter for a treat. Anna Belle would often get her favourite Jet orange with chocolate topping ice cream or her favourite chocolate, orange or red white and blue popsicles or fudge sickle at the corner store. Life was simpler and slower, little things much more appreciated way back when in the early 60's.

Anna Belle loved calling her friends on the phone. Her phone number was Cherry 917. Anna Belle was always happy to make house calls, calling her friends and going over to their home on her blue CCM bike and playing all day. Sometimes she was allowed to sleep over at her best friend's, Kathy D. Today all her friends that lived around her house, but today, she was doing her usual Saturday morning shopping chores with her mom and dad.

Dad decided to go out to the Beaver Lumber, hardware store with Mr Weller this Saturday. Anna Belle sang the commerical "Beaver Lumber, Lumber Beaver, Beaver Lumber" over and over again until Dad said "Ok Anna Belle, that's enough" Anna could get faceous at times as all kids often know how to push buttons. Anna Belle being no stranger to the art of bug. Anna Belle's dad was finishing the bar in the basement of the rec room. Anna Belle liked having the unusual luxury of having her mom exclusively for herself today; it was a rare occasion. Usually she would be going to Beaver Lumber pressing the various door bells, annoying the salespeople. Anna Belle did not get to see her mom very often as her mom was a nurse at the hospital. Anna Belle did not feel any need to go to Beaver Lumber and was happy to go shopping at the mall.

Anna Belle waited for her mom in the car while picking up a couple of items at the grocery store. Then Mom and Anna Belle went into Morgan's and over to the shoe department. "May I help you, Mam?" The clerk had clearly paid her undivided attention to our being there and we were served immediately. "What shoes do you like Anna Belle?" asked the mom. "Oh, I love, love love these," Anna ran and got the shoe with the plaid. After trying on the shoe sizer Anna Belle was happy to twirl around with the new running shoes. "Look how fast they can make me run mommy!". Anna ran up and down the aisle. "Easy Anna you'll run out of shoe rubber!". Anna's mom smiled a large smile. "Mom can I get a pair of Buster Brown's for birthday? "We'll see Anna Belle, you didn't scuff your old shoes, did you, we just got those in the spring." Anna Belle said "I kinda used them for brakes learning how to stop my new bike, Mom". Mom rolled her eyes, "Uh huh...hmmmm, oh dear...".

At the old store called Morgans, once Eaton's and now The Bay, Anna Belle stopped near the middle of the store, the candy isle. Anna spotted her usual favourite smarties, where she loved and always bought smarties. McIntosh toffee her grandfather would buy her at the local neighbourhood store, and she could save chocolate bars for years. Sometimes she would stockpile chocolate bars for so long they would have be thrown out. "Can I get smarties today Mom". "Oh sure Anna, but we got to get going soon, Daddy's going to wonder where we've gotten to". "Ok, Mommy as Anna Belle skipped happily holding her mother's soft hand.

In the car Anna Belle asked fervently, "Mom are you going to work this week coming?" Anna asked. "I think so, if the hospital calls me in dear" "Do you want to go to work Mom?" Anna asked her mom. "Well, we could use the money, but I'd rather be at home, until you are full time at school for another year. Mommy being a nurse is always in demand and it is a very special and important job". Mrs. Potts continued. Anna Belle interupted, "Mom, can I be a nurse one day? and "Can I see you at work sometime Mom?" Anna's excitedly enquired. "Sure Anna, I'll get Daddy to bring you over on my afternoon shift, I'll get off at 3 pm". "That will be really fun, Mommy! Can I watch a baby being born?" Anna sounded excited. "We'll see!" Anna's mom smiled at Anna.

Close to home Mrs Potts thought out loud "I wonder what daddy's doing, did Mr. Weller make lunch for him?" "I think daddy grabbed a bite at the Weller's, if not, we have some balogna in the fridge. That reminds me to cancel the milkman next week if I am working, I better leave him a note in the milk box." Anna loved playing with her dolls in the milkbox just by the back kitchen door. It would not be long before the milkman and the milkbox was boarded up for good, a thing of the past. Anna Belle would open the secret hidden door to the outside world, a giant world to her small dolls.

"Mommy can I get a Barbie doll for my birthday?" "Anna you already have a Ken doll. Can't you borrow Bethany's Midge doll or Michele's Bubblehead Barbie?" Anna's mom knew what was coming next. "Aw mom, I wanted a Barbie, so I can dress her up in her dresses. The dresses dont fit Ken." Mrs Pott's laughed and said "You're right, we'll have to see about this. Maybe you could get a skipper doll" retorted Mrs. Potts. "What's a skipper doll? Oh yah, skipper is Barbie's younger sister. But Mom...I really want a Barbie or Midge doll, I want to dress them in the same dresses as Bethany and Michele!". "Oh I see what you mean, dear." Anna's mom rolled her eyes. "We'll see dear, if you're good..." "Oh I'll be good mommy, I promise!" Anna Belle was so happy to have the same dolls as her sisters, it put her at par and she could feel important playing with grown up things.

The early part of the afternoon was still ahead of Anna Belle and her family and she decided to call on a couple of her friends. Sherry had gone to her cottage up north for the week, she had a Mrs Beasley doll and also had a hidden playroom under the stairs that had loads of toys. Also Cathy D. had been busy cleaning house for her large family and was too busy this afternoon. Anna Belle always recalled fingerprints on everything at Cathy's, with so many kids the place was always in disarray. Allfive of Cathy D's brothers seemed like football players, loud boys that pushed right past the girls, usually ignoring them. However they always called on Cathy to get the housework done. The mother and Cathy always appeared overwhelmed. "Maybe you can come over to my house tomorrow Cathy" Anna Belle said politely as she left her house and carefully crossed at the corner the busy highway. Then there was Donna down the street who had the mean boxer dog. Anna Belle did not like calling on Donna because of her mean dog. Donna was deaf and could read lips, it was fun to understand her and she liked her; she was terrified of the barking dog.

Anna Belle then decided to walk the long block to Kathy D's house after she called her on the phone. Kathy was busy today, having gone with her mother to downtown little Italy with her relatives. She would go to the Italians often on Saturdays and help the grandmother make pasta. They never had much furniture in their house, having bought a house and then waiting to buy furniture. It was the same thing with Angela's parents. It seemed a long time before they got any furniture. Most that was there was from the old country and looked ancient. Always the widow ladies wore black lace, Angela's mom wore nothing but black lace from head to shoe. Strict Roman Catholics Anna Belle wondered if one day she would wear all black lace too.

Maybe Kathy would be back later and maybe would come over for a sleep over. The only other person Anna Belle she could find to play with on this hot summer day was Jennifer next door.

Anna Belle did not like playing with Jennifer because Jennifer often treated her cruelly, not letting her play with her toys and told her always to "go home" after an hour and after the invisible mother in the closed kitchen would yell from the room something in another unknown foreign language. It wasnt Italian, that's for sure. The Italians were always were friendly and giving the shirt from their back. Anna Belle always felt right at home with Kathy but not Jennifer Hessand. Jennifer would often push Anna Belle literally outside from downstairs and slam the door.

Anna Belle tried to dispell her cruel treatment even at her young age, making excuses for her poor behaviour and temperment. "I guess it is her nap time". Anna had never met such a spoiled child. She had tons of toys to play with, a pink phone, a princess bedroom. Anna even had a full-size popeye boxing toy in the front livingroom the only toy in the living room which seemed odd to Anna Belle. Usually only boys had Popeye sock-ems.

The only other toys were in the play room in the basement. The house was always in darkness, quiet. Jennifer was an only child and terribly spoiled. Anna Belle recalls the time when Jennifer was called over to the garbage truck on garbage day, the garbageman saying he found a wonderful toy for his princess. Jennifer went running happily to the garbageman who handed Jennifer a bright pink lifesize poodle, wrapped in plastic wrapped. It appeared to be brand new. "Now give me a little kiss Jenny" Jenny said "I don't kiss garbagemen". She ran with the toy and slammed the door in front of Anna Belle again. From behind the door Anna Belle could hear Jennifer say "Go away Anna Belle, I don't want to play today". Anna Belle always felt that Jennifer felt herself to be much better than her. She wished she could change her, but she could not, she was died in the wool spoiled brat. No changing that breed of animal.

Although Jennifer had the most wonderful of toys Anna Belle did not like calling on her and only did so if her mom's insistance. "Anna Belle, why don't you call on Jennifer. You haven't played with your next door neighbour in a long time". "Ok Mommy, I'll go over to Jennifer's". Anna Belle sheepingly said, scuffing her new plaid ked runners.

Anna could never get up enough nerve to tell her mommy about how she was being so unfairly untreated by Jennifer and how psychologically cruel and callous nature towards her.

"Go Home, now" screamed Jennifer after the odd noise from the kitchen. "Ok I'm going, don't push me!". Anna Belle went up the stairs to the top of the stairs. She felt two hands on her back literally pushing her out the door. "And don't come back for very long time, maybe forever if that's too long awhile for you, too bad. I am going to be playing with Richie and he doesn't like you he only likes me".

Anna felt so hurt by Jennifer's cruel statements that she ran home with tears in her eyes. Anna Belle told her Mom who was reading at the kitchen table what had happened. "Oh I didnt know that Jennifer was being so cruel to you Anna. I am going to have a word with that family". Anna's mother dragged Anna Belle back over to Jennifer's "Mommy, I dont want to go" implored Anna Belle.

When Mrs Potts was on the war path Mrs Potts was on THE war path; no quarter given;"Anna Belle, I want to nip this in the bud immediately. It isn't fair how those two brats, Richie included are treating you. Mrs. Hessamd should know better for crying out loud. I know she knows about this, doesnt she? Anna Belle looked up at her mom with the most innocent of honesty; "I think so mommy, she's the one who says funny things, then I have to leave right away" Mrs. Potts retorted; "Oh, I see...".

As Mrs. Pott's knocked briskly on the storm door, Mrs. Hessand appeared in a dark shadow from behind the door. The door remained locked. "Can I help you" said Mrs. Hessand. "Could you please open this door, I'd like to talk with you." asked Mrs. Pott's. "I am afraid I cannot, I am not dressed." said Mrs. Hessand. "Well, I will give you a call in an half an hour. We have to talk about something important." Mrs. Potts sounded serious "I dont like the way your daughter is treating my daughter. "I have nothing to say" Mrs. Hessand said matter-of-factly and defensively.

"Well if that's the way it's going to be, fine. Anna Belle is not allowed to come over to your house. Since you do not allow Jennifer to come to our house, or she doesnt want to, I suppose you have already made this decision." Mrs Potts left in a huff and lead Anna Belle by the hand. "I'm sorry Anna Belle. I didnt realize what horrid people the people next door; some neighbours! What is wrong with these people! Something isnt right here. I am going to tell Daddy when he gets home. Mrs. Hessand is not going to get away with this."

Joe Pott's was Mrs. Pott's husband, he could talk the silk from a sows ear. Surely someone should find out was was happening at the socially inept and conspicuous Hessand household, Joe was certainly the man to get the job done.

When Joe Potts got back from the lumber store he said in his usually friendly phrase; "Is anybody home?". Anna got off her chair in the living room and ran towards the door full blast. She ran into the awaiting arms of her dad and gave him a big hug. "Hi Daddy!" Anna Belle blaired. "You'd think I have been gone forever or at least to war and back" said Joe. Anna's mother also acknowledged her husband's return.

"Oh, Joe, I'm so glad you are home. How did the hardware store shopping go, did you get all you want for the bar, and Joe, can we talk please?" Mrs. Potts said imploringly. "Oh I got nearly everything I need, I am just waiting for a sink, that will be in by next week." "Oh Joe, I'd like to talk to you about something, Mrs. Hessand..." Joe and Doreen Potts headed to the bedroom where all conversations of a personal nature were discussed and as far from the prying ears of the questioning children who needed to be protected from themselves. One thing that Mr. and Mrs Potts shared was the act of secrecy. Anna Belle knew early her place, and certainly did not question her parents methods. No always meant no.

Mrs. Potts began to tell Joe her husband how oddly she was being treated by the next door neighbour. "Joe, You know I am really concerned, Mrs. Hessand is being a horrible person, there is something wrong with her. I've heard many complaints from the other neightbours, I should have paid attention. It wasnt until today that I understood why Anna Belle was reluctant going over to their house. I so miss the pevious neighbours, the Kadings, even if Anna Belle packed her bags and tried to move with them. They were so loving to Anna Belle, the older Kading girls fawned over Anna Belle. Anna cried for days. Those Hessand are so frivolous and fake; they are an awfully odd lot too. I bet that she doesn't have a husband, or there's no husband, just a sometime lover who sends her cash from who knows where. She is so secretive, her lights off all day, never see her leave the house. It is like they are vampires. If there is a husband why does he not help raise Anna Belle like a real father. Her spoiled brat behaviour is coming from the fact she doesn't have a father figure. That girl is going to grow up to be just like her mother, and that is not saying much. Jennifer is spoiled horribly. She looks like a grown up, wearing makeup at age six. I am sure the mother is dying her hair deep chestnut brown. She is the most unnatural child I have ever met; almost unholy. I just don't understand why they keep to themselves so much".

Mr. Potts felt upset at what was being said "Don't worry Doreen, I am going to get to the bottom of this. Give me a few minutes to make some phone calls." Joe went into his study and closed the door. All members of the Pott's family knew what this meant; business as usual and business always meant just business. Mr. Potts would be unavailable for awhile. Everything in the Pott's family would be put on hold until the business was completed. You could hear a pin drop.

"Mommy, is daddy almost finished on the phone yet? I wanna go to the zoo to see the baby elephant today". Anna Belle asked the Mom. "No dear, soon. I think it would be a better idea if you stayed home today. Let's all go next weekend when the weather isnt so hot and your sisters can go with you." Mrs Potts sounded sincere. "Ok, Mommy."

For her young age, Anna Belle was far beyond her years, she had what the Irish liked to call "an old soul". Anna Belle found a colouring book that needed some colouring and pursued that interest for awhile. Finally the home office door opened and Mr. Pott's came out of the office. "Well that's settled, what's for dinner?". Mrs Potts called from the kitchen "I think you could start the BBQ Joe, and could you please fix me a drink, lovie?" Doreen could lay on the charm. "Right away, my dear, right away."

As the afternoon sun turned into the cool of evening, Anna Belle quickly forgot about her problems with Jennifer Hessand. Her perfectly pretentious spoiled brat was never on her mind much anyway. Anna Belle had the ability to forget about the other things she witnessed in the Hissand household for years.

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