"Be careful your wishes; you may just get what you had wished." This sentence did hound me for some time; not understanding what it really meant. And then I thought of the analogy of the star. In Grade 8 we had a small year book put together in the copier room (does anyone remember mimeograph chemicals? No, neither do I!). It was always inventive this question posed to the graduating class. If you had one wish what would it be? Or rather; if you had one wish what you would like to be; what would that be? Well, of course everyone gave the goofist of answers (not sure of goofist is a word; well it is now). What did I want to be? In Grade 8? Secretly I wanted to be an astronomer, however, Grade 8 introduced me to "The play's the thing" or rather playing the character of Belle in Charles Dickens play adaptation of The Christmas Carol. We had two teachers in Grade 8. The morning teacher was Mrs. (maybe I shouldnt name names here) and she was the principal for the other half of the day. She really liked me. The other teacher was Mrs. T (best I do not breach this subject) who did not like me.
Mrs. S. gave me the role of Belle, Ebenezer Scrooges' early love interest who he later dumped for the high stakes game at High Gate. (was Ebenezer a C.A., lawyer, or taxperson; I am not sure...?) Nonetheless, in my new found love of theatre and public speaking I decided to become an "actress" since I got "rave reviews" from Mrs. S. Yes, I could do no wrong in Mrs. S's eyes, I was one of Mrs. S's favourite pets.
However, Mrs. T. the afternoon battleaxe did not share the same opinion of me for whatever reason and I could do no good. There was one remembrance of a complete one half hour reprimand after my stellar appearance in the class play. For some reason Mrs. T. did not think that I should receive such accolades so soon as certainly I was not as bright as Scott in grammar and math.
Oh well. To further remove myself from being henpecked by Mrs. T of the afternoon, I became slightly rebellious. I had to believe in myself again. So the yearbook question posed "What did you want to be in your life". I should have answered "Sister Theresa" however there was no such known entity at that time. I am sure Mrs. T was creating mayhem for me so that I would don the habit and take up my family's commitment to "Supporting The Mount".
However, unbeknownst to me, I had decided to serve the worldly master, and instead of saying "I want to be a missionary" or "I want to be a nun" I said I wanted to be a "Superstar". This did not go over very big with Mrs. T. who came very close to abuse if not outright psychological abuse during my long public berating session.
Needless to say I never became a Superstar. Certainly not in Mrs. T's eyes. However, the powers that be said that I would get my wish one day. There is some saint saying "Did you know Miss Jane never got her wish". And then the powers that be suddenly and with great aplum turn me into this Giant Inferno Small Dwarf star (I always wanted to be small).
You can see me burning nightly with quiet rage in the Pleidian section of the galaxy. No no the Galaxy Theatre. No not Hollywood. Although I do shine down upon all the Canadian Superstars that did find London Ontario a wonderful launching ground to their stellar careers.
Maybe when and if I should make a wish in the future I will be much more specific about the requirement of that wish. Something akin to a pre-wish contract which states infactically the EXACT contract requirements of said wish.
Again, I do admit that was a dumb wish made by a very bubble-headed blonde. I should have chosen sad sack clothe and ashes. That would have been more befitting of my parochial upbringing.
No wonder I headed to a public school as soon as possible. Sometimes psychological torture survivalist is not the best prerequisite for further education. Although it did help in life, you could say, the grind. Martyrs never had it easy, so why should I? Life is full of problem solving, and we should welcome difficulties not an easy button.
Oh yes, there was no easy button in the early 1970's. Well maybe for some. Not for me. School of Hard Knocks for the Sweathogs. Not a feather nest but certainly not at all unexpected. Like a bad dream one gets used to the certain reality one must face in the future. NOt sure if this is Confusious but it should be!
Here is my adult Christmas Wish List
1. A real understanding of how to really solve all of life's
2. Unfinished business finished.
3. An awakening or rebirth of consciousness to the point of
understanding we are spirit manifests and not worldly
manifestations of life.
4. God waking up beside me in bed. (Oh this is kinky and
maybe this should take on more of an Adult Content only
theme)ps this did happen once in a dream!
5. No sickness. No death. No greed. Nothing negative, ever.
6. The ability to float at will.
7. Can eat all the fat I want without getting fat.
8. Purposefulness to life. That we will all know the end
of the story and be able to make all our lives meaningful
before it is too late.
9. That everyone will realize their full potential and
talents. (How Humanist of Abrams and Maslow movement or
what is known today as Spiritual Psychology)
10. No enemies only friends.
11. No hidden agendas by anyone.
12. Honest, straightforward respect and love given and
received by all people.
13. Creative inspiration and evolving ethics. We ARE getting
better all the time. (Beatles)
14. That viruses, bacteria and fungi, etc would make us
healthy not sick. We are not deevolving or decomposing
but rather are fufilling a wonderful light-filled
spiritual which will one day or now involve the material
world which turned good after being bad for so long!
15. That there are no more gaps in understanding between the
Romanticist and the Scientist. The feelings and thoughts
are equally respected.
16. Everyone is equal and fairly treated. There is no room
for greed on my wish list. Everyone gets everything they
need. Even if that need is a blue corvette or a house
in the Hamptons. Your wish is my command! Tell me
what you want. Fantasies are not only fufilled;
funtasies are reality 24-7.
17. Ever tear that ever was will be wiped away and hidden
in the ocean of forgetfullness. (needed: faith lots of
faith here, this is doable; just need faith now!)
18. That all experience the love and joy of the season and
the true meaning of the season; LOVE!!!