Hot Hot Hot Not Not Not

Whatever mood hits you
suddenly
you're just hot and sweaty
the sweat surrounds you
you want to feel light
but the heat holds you down
you might like this feeling
unless it gets you down
and then you're just hot
and then you get so hot
you get these sick hot/cold chills
and you back feels wet
and you feel the tightness of clothes
and you want to feel light again
but you are held down with the heaviness
of it all
when you're hot
it is usually not the greatest feeling
when you are just hot and melting
the earlier moment in time
removed and the moment takes over
and you are commanded by the moment
and lost all personal intregrity
and lost all personal power
and lost all personal meaning
when the small blue flower meant something
is gone
what is left is the immediateness
of drip, sweat stink

not a very wonderful a feeling
how to feel good when you
feel hot
but you're not