"Oh my gosh, I've got to get out of here! I can't stand it a minute longer, it is too hot!" Mabel yelled at the top of her lungs to her husband Stan. "Oh Mabel, cut the crap, it's just yer menopausal moment again! You're having a hot flash". "Stanley! You'd think I was stamped looney tune long ago! Don't you dare call me crazy! Don't you love me anymore?Don't you care? Mabel started to cry inconsolably. "Stanley, dont you think I know what is happening to me?"
Stanley smirked and rolled his eyes, and looked at Mabel; "Do I have to answer that?" Stanley inquired "Answer what?" Mabel questioned her husband of 40 odd years, mainly odd years. "You know Stanley, ever since I got married to you, you have been ignoring me, haven't you got anything better to do than to ignore me?". Stanley saw an opening for the next one liner: "Mabel, what could be better than ignoring you?". Mabel grinned a big cheshire grin, "Ah-hah! I got you Stanley! I caught you! You are ingnoring me!" Stanley again appeared to have swallowed the canary; "Indeed you did catch me Mabel, indeed you did!"
Mabel frowned a big childish frown, "Stanley, you're not being fair, I didn't catch you, you caught me, remember? Stanley gave a sheepish sideway grin and scanned the floor to the ceiling with his bifocals catching Mabel's image of a middle aged woman with hands on her hips, looking stern. Mabel could have a rolling pin in her hand, she meant business. Stan thought he should try to tame the shrew; "You're absolutely right Mabel, your absolutely right, I remember now! I caught you as you fell from the auditorium stage. You fell straight into my lap. No wonder I never could have kids!" Mabel looked at Stanley with a bitter look "What do you mean you could never have kids? You had twelve of them!" Why Mr. Stanley Smith, that's not how it happened at all, why do you keep turning things around to make me look like I was doing all the chasing?"
Stanley could not wait to explain; "Look Mabel, if I seem to have gotten the story wrong after all these years of telling the same story, over and over again, I am truly sorry, I must have had a memory lapse too! There is such thing as male menopause you know! Either that or I am embellishing the story to make it sound more interesting. From time to time I keep getting this nagging creative itch right here.." Stanley pointed to his back. Mabel jumped in "If this is a way you have Stanley of getting me to scratch your back for free, I have another chore for you to do!" Stanley looked sheepishly at Mabel enthralled with the banter;"Yes, I do, I have all of a sudden got a creative itch." Mabel reply straight arrow; "You should get that fixed, Stan, you really should, I here there are places that will get that removed for you". Stan chimed in; "and what, not have the joy of having my Maybe scratch that itch for me?" Mabel eyes sparkled as she grinned seductively. "Oh Stanley, you big tease!"
Reddickville is a tiny, tiny town not far from Tiny Township, but far away enough past the lake, up the hill and beyond a bit. The hills of this beautiful region are a farmer's delight, acres and acres of rolling farms and meandering brooks. It made no sense that Mabel wanted to escape from Reddickville that day. Maybe it was her husband Stan's constant demands for her attention, always luring her into heated conversations so he could put back the fire in the once impassioned redhead, a formly farm girl who in her younger year look much like . It always started with innocent teasing, and then, the teasing lead to name calling, then heated argument. The heated argument would last for maybe, ten or fifteen minutes of trivial pursuit, and than the heat of the argument go the better of both of them. Then the two senior citizens would race upstairs as Stan caught Mabel at the doorway of the room and start kissing her passionately.
Free from their brood of children who have all gone on to lead their own lives, these two love birds engaged in the art of coy seduction, bringing back their long lost loving feeling. It was getting difficult for Stan and Mabel but their old bones could recall those times when they were young. It is amazing how automatically the body remembers these "night moves" thought Mabel. She luxuriated in her passionate moments with Stanley, and could, in her seventy or so year old skin, feel comfort, reinacting the past. Stanley felt it was his duty to do his duty to keep his wife forever young, with girlish giggles, and solvent kisses that would never, never die. He loved Mabel with all his heart and wanted her to be happy. He knew this was one way to make her happy and to keep the spring in her step and the whistle in her mouth as she went about her chores on the farm. "A morning without Mabel is like a day without sunshine" Stanley would tell his fishing buddies, friends he had known all his life. These fishin' buddies were really his old school chums, and they would get together each year, at one farm or other and camp out in the back forty for a few days, recalling good times, fishing the Nottawasaga.
Mabel knew exactly what to do without thinking about it. Being thus fearless of children barging through the double doors of the 150 year old farm home catching them in "the act", Stanley and Mabel were finally free to express the love they had repressed for so many years from so many children. Yes, there were some moments they had alone during the years, but mostly, since both were loud lovers, they could never really feel free to express their souls' desire. Now, being so far out in the country in that neverland called Reddickville, Stanley and Mabel could freely express any high pitch whirl or hoot deemed necessary for their listening pleasure only.
The would escape to the upper room of their farmhouse, a place known to them as "the firepit of passion" or shortened over the years to the "pit". Here Mabel and Stanley felt free to express their love to each other without inhibition, without the worry that children could sneak up and notice something going on. Stanley and Mabel had known each other since children, and they really knew each other as well as they knew the back of their own hand.
The upstairs hottub was pumped and primed and ready for the empty-nesters. "Ahhhh this feels nice, I think I am beginning to get rid of that itch after all dear" Mabel "dont you dare, wait for me!"