Thursday, May 13, 2010
ChipnLogs Idea Day with Jonathan the Seagull
Hi! Jonathan here! You might have noticed me breezing in on the next stormy air mass. You know when you see a lot of Jonathans that there is probably a storm coming in or someone has dumped a huge amount of french fries on the ground. I like mine with a bit of ketchup!
So today, I Jonathan Seagull have decided to be the spokesperson for ChipnLogs Ideas day which usually is Thursday but not always, depending when the idea hits the Creator of this blog!
Ooops! There's another poop on the head!Don't worry! It's good luck when you have been airdropped a load from a passing gull like me! And remember it's from me, Jonathan L. Seagull. My middle name? You might ask. I like the guessing game so or here it is; starts _I________N. I gave you a few clues. Since I dont want to infringe on anybodies copyright turf I will leave it semi-blank. You know how to do crosswords? Leave it at that; say no more; you fill in the blanks. This is fun! Can I do this? I just did! Whoopee!!!
Well I just came in from the Gulf oil spill! Boy what a mess! I see a lot of people trying to solve the problem ipso facto. Wouldn't it have been a better idea to have solved this problem STAT...as in YESTEDAY?
It never fails to amuse me; you humans! What a lot! You'd think you'd get it right by now; but oh no! I can just let out a stupified sigh and throw my wings up in the air. Disguisting! You are very dirty birds, er ah, humans!
Let's hope this spill doesnt happen again. But given past "accidents", and so many of them, it doesnt look as though this is going to happen. It may be that Nostradamus was correct about seeing oil everywhere "It is going to be (the seas) polluted from a greasy substance; very dirty water". How would this seer see this? With his third eye? Where is THAT located?
Maybe humans were given these prophetic blurbs from ancient mystics for a reason. Maybe it was not only to be dramatic and foreboding, but rather to SMARTEN up the humans, a sort of "heads up" to potentials for disaster in the future, and then with some of this foresight; DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!
What can be done you scream like a flock of seagulls? What? What? (sounds like a caw caw to me). Well my dear human friends there is A LOT that can be done NOW.
Just got the picture in today of the huge leak. The flood gate of the earth's first hades level opening up. The earth's lubricant; oil. Maybe those tectonic plates are shifting and this caused the oil leak, maybe not. Maybe it was something that humans did not see coming (they should have been forewarned by Nostradamus and others of this). However, this is all in hindsight now. Hindsight being 100 percent, but not always useful ipso facto (latin for after the fact). Oh well...another human blunder!
Do not give up humans, I know you're ok! I always ask for fries when sitting on the hood of your hot rod at Mcdees and I see everything! I see that you don't want to be stupid; you just are by nature stupid. Why? Maybe it is because you cannot fly without mechanical aid. That must be it. You do not see the big picture. YOu focus in on the small trivial things that do not serve a purpose when it comes to the Big Picture. You, humans, really need "Big Picture" glasses. I will make a pair for you they should help you solve your many problems you fail to see and/or respond immediately to these pressing and oppressing problems of the day.
Dear Humans: do not think because I am a mere bird and not human that I am nothing of consequence. You just don't know that; you don't know that one day, I may inadvertently save your life. Look at Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade where Indiana's father (played by Sean Connery) was using all of us flock of seagulls to cause a plane to crash! We are heroes! We are in the Bible too! By this action we saved the free world from possible occupation by an evil bunch of rats. And that's not all! Oh, that's not all! Not at all!
Even though I have a small bird brain, which you think means I have no consciousness, I do have consciousness. A huge expanding consciousness; almost as large an infinite a scope as the whale.
By the way, (BTW) did you hear about the grey whales going beserk lately, being found in such abnormal places as Vancouver BC and Israel? YOu know why the whales are acting odd? It may be global warming! They may have crossed through the formally permanently iced waters of the famed North-West passage.
The Grey Whales could have taught Henry Hudson a thing or two (poor Henry!). Something tells me that animals could be acting odd because another pending earthquake. They act like dogs of the sea. They run loose and try to get out of the way of an earthquake, like dogs do when they sense things are wrong. Or the smell of the oil from the gulf may be making them scramble for a new home somewhere far from something that is bothering them. And they are so endangered! Poor whales. I often hitch-hike on their backs when I want a trip out to sea to see my grandseagulls!
Nonetheless I am certain of one thing; the importance in the scheme of things humans just do not understand. It is all in here.((I am pointing to my bird brain by the way BTW)! Oh that! That one thing that may save us from ultimate doom, hinged on such an unlikely candidate. Huh. Who'd figure this out?
Anyhoo...I guess I've blabbered for long enough on Chipnlogs blog. I've got to see if I can score some more free fries. And if you think all those signs that say "Do not feed the birds" is going to stop me! Hah! I've got free will and with that means free french fries! I'm off! Chat later alligators!
ps I'll be back later to help you humans solve the obvious problems you are so often missing; like thinking ahead before disasters of all sorts can strike. You've got to get with the program! What's wrong with you? Are you eating to many mercury-contaminated fish? I know what that's like and either the seagulls know how to avoid these stinky fish or we have developed some unique biological properties. You dont see too many seagulls that look sick, do you? You do see the odd one legged hopper, usually caused by kick boxing seagulls. What do you mean you've never gone to a kick boxing fight of seagulls? Oh they can be mean! Like extreme fighting! I wager you'd put odds on me as the favourite. I've been known to out-kick outlast outsmart the best of the best. They call my stage name A. Kimbo as in Legs Akimbo, you can see just a blur when watching me win these gull fights! I'm a TKO (techincal knock out) but you already knew that!
For the most part, we gulls look pretty good. We must be doing something right! Must be all that fresh salty sea air!
Did any scientists do a study on this? No? Why not? Will be discussed later. For now my fuzzy headed humans; Ciao!