Saturday, May 29, 2010

Bill Bonkers' Takin Us Up the River On DA BUS!!!! AGIN!!!

courtesy Rolling Stones Magazine (for noncommercial purposes)

Today's challenge; to write as per instructions below as per Bill Bonker's conceptualization of fine art poetry. Ok Bill, I shall try to do this; you be the judge; here's the loose noose (hope I dont lose any sleep over this; hard to lose sleep when on an allnighter; you often loose a lot of things; rarely sleep mate!)

"1: Think of (or find) a sentence.

2: Delete the second half of it.

3: Think of as many different ways of finishing it was you can.

4: Now, delete the first part of the sentence, leaving only a collection of "second halves".

5: Play with these and concoct a poem out of them. You'll probably want to mess about with the grammar, leave bits out, put bits in, etc. Feel free.

6: Post the poem.

7: Leave me a link to the post in the comments section below, and I'll post a list of all the contributions I receive.

A tip (you may not need one if you've done this before). If you find you're getting nowhere, go back to square one and try a new half-sentence as a starting point. Some work better than others, of course.

Have fun!

And, finally, love it or hate it..."(from

"All The World's A Stage; And All The Men And Women Merely Players" (SHAKESPEARE CAME TO MIND BECAUSE HE'S FROM THAT SIDE O THE POND AND WELL HE'S HAD A BIG EFFECT ON ME this ijit SHAKING HIS SPEARE AT ME AND ALL THAT..and strutting his stuff)heehee...

All the world's a stage
exit the stage back door
the strings are a talkin'
n' hallaballou rockin'

ya totalfeckineejit
is in za room
met up with
Bill Bonkers!!!
is in za room
za room
za room

next up on the stage
comin' on next
hurry up you're up next
you gonna do what you
do it do it do it do it right
what happens tonight, babe, it's all up
to you...
(now your talkin'!)

bloody well right
you got a bloody right to say
quite right
and Bill reconfigured his will
did so figure a fine figure he posed
hosers o' the night
refined in a way as he came by
happen when he partook a part in the play
As Mr Clash met Ms Bullocks
hanging around in the next bar
for the first time to pub crawl
like babies
heard screamin' one hotsteamin' night
it all came together those two

tonight you let loose
let the good times roll
free the lowly soul
wholly dumbfounded
out of the barrios
from the confines!!
the Confounded Ludnuts!
live from the Hole In The Wall

she's leaving home
bootin' down the stairs
she left home today
through it all away
baby go home home
Get back Loretta
hey baby dont you know
home aint a home
a prison you use to do

Fridays always a wild card
this time get out for free
playing with dear Willy
on the corner by da alley
buskin's gonna feed me
the party just got started
Billy wont cha
come out tonight?

sometimes ya just wanna
write on the walls and yell
rebel yell rebel cause rebels yell
sometimes a rebel yell a rebel yell....
tell us what makes you feel like he...

these burly men did't think
your wit wrote so well
with pen in fist and
hand in glove you got it
get down Pat

get down get down get down tonight
on the ground like a squirmin' worm
get down and grovel with no shovels
get down hop on pop and do yer dirty dishes
you got three wishes

yo yo yo yo yo yo yo ringin' in my head
ohohohohohhohhoohohohooohohoo that bell
buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz on the brain
dont think you'll ever be tame
let em in...let me in man!
go get em man!let it go!
return to the punk funky room
let it loose let it loose let it loose
you got nothing to lose
nothing to lose nothing to lose

giving it up
these guys stuck together
four beaten cats playing rhythm and blues
with attitude weaving new designs
sucked the life out of the night
right in front of me
blinding lights
rip roarin' sonic the pulsating sound
smokin' foggy haze the musk of flesh
flippin higher than a dream
like glue on flypaper
come undone
sticky and tacky
the barroom floor
as gum stuck to picklestabbers
like your feet in wet cement
in the moshpit
the abandoned, the flipped out
they all do same hyperheaded bop
grease ball n' chain daisy wore pearls
stompin with dr. maertens
rompin with mr bean

no doubt Bill and crew
will hold there own there too
souzed as bright Lime Rickys Boys
high as a kite in Tipperary
take to the night
some girls say
some girls
some girls never the same

thou you knew more than punk
threw you down on the naked ground
realized your man not a machine
you give and you give and you give
your heart away to all the girls

coming down from vegas
fear and somewhat loathing
the razor's edge
you two had just played the slots
won a hand or two
broke thru the iron walled prison
owned by some other
got to come back down
realized the scam
valley dolls stopped that crash
hey babe
come down from the buzz a fly on the wall
berkley peace just got too loud
could have been down and out in the hills
wouldn't matter it no where i've been
crowd lost somewhere seen
In a Savage Garden movie
in The Philosopher Kings

railed and rallied the rebelrouser crowd
you painted yourself red all over town
and yelled real loud enought
and woke up the Grateful Dead and
played in the Black Velvet
Underground as Ozzy ate bats anyway
Iggy would Ziggy the bash
before the Clash

that road you took
never went down there again
the long and winding road
before the crash
you hid your stash
let it get away
get away from me of
all forms of noncomplacency
get away from yer sleepins with
yoko and john and
mr big mr big mr big mr big mr big

chaotic leanings tuning into squelch
who really cares who gives a hoot
yer life as a iroquois scalped like that
a punk wearing clownishness in Picadilly Circus
showed yer right stuff you got the right stuff
all dolled up you stood out no doubt
sweet redhaired bedhead cousin o mine
distantly distant and closer than close
dont stand so close to me
plaid and loud rockn da house
sweet hot rocknroll a billy
baby rockin mama
cruisin for a bruisin
hopin to get spanked
look my way you say without sayin much
rockon rebel rouser rockon!!!

wonders who's who in your world now
like you did me then when you wanted to get done
who's who to do it then like you did it then
did it to you cause you just dunit then
not what you do or who you know
not what you know
it what you do when you think you know
so much more than me
you think you have a way
with the world
that stomps on your head
did me in
you know what i mean
you were mean you men ol man
you are now do
you know who you know
you know who you know who

in who's green do you do
do you do you do you do
the walk-about lookin' spiffy
the creative bloke in a poke
screams from the rooftops
jammin rebel without a cause
he's "not no jerk" he's lettin loose
the pen's mightier than the word
what the f that mean
confusion stymied pent up
caterwhale let er rip let er whale

wearin' o the green a creamsicle dream
like sticky fingers and cream jeans
free as a cuckold in a clock gone crazy
steroidic roosters playing with chickens
fantastic play on words that are raw dickens
endearing the to the crew belabouring stew
sweet sweating sweat hogs know what to do
pigs don't sweat they just make like wet
knows his strokes a tad too convincing
one, two, one, two, one two
two, two, two,two, two, two
row row row row row row row
chacha chacha chacha chacha
your boat...
where the f's yer boat?
where's the f's
the rest?
oh papabillie oh pappabillie oh papabillie NOW!!!
oh papabillie oh pappabillie oh papabillie NOW!!!
down to the test
doin' the pub crawl ALL NIGHT LONG
oh papabillie oh pappabillie oh papabillie NOW!!!
Oh papabillie oh pappabillie oh papabillie NwOW!!!
Bill won again!

two can dine
on one thin dime
but beer is another
thing altogether
I'll stake my brew
I met you two
share my beer?
no way mate
give it up
like you did the night of your prom
when rooster wants
rooster gets roaster oven
get over it
Total got really totally feckinjit that night
and Killed Bill the Rooster oh what a sight
who got too zonkers to know what was right
than poor Bill really went Bonkers
went to downtown with his love
all the way to Yonkers
ohpapabillie ohpapabillie ohpapabillie NOW
ohpapabillie ohpapabillie ohpapabillie NOW!!!

finally staggered in
crashed at home that night
Screamin' Heebie Jeebies
(repeat 2X's)

To the two hot cats on the ot tinroof
quit yer friggin yellin
quite yer *itchin'
it's just the fleas
jumpin' and stompin' the joint
ya bunch of of whelps

yo Bill's gonna do ya in time one time
no time like the now now now now now
oh so uptight
oh baby oh baby oh baby oh
got to get it right
got to get it right
got to get it right
who the frig cares
now is now now now now now now now now
*(for the fuzz pedal)
those crazy cats
gonna get some whoopin'
quite yer yellin and start yer boppin'
do ya do ya wee bop a willie
do ya do ya wee bop a willie
do ya do ya wee bop a willie
saw the cats face larger than life
and then we willie bonkers billy
crashed for the night
on the ratty ol' couch!

good music, eh?


(you can sort of tell I was into the punk scene for awhile in the 80's got to see the Ramones, into the Clash album, Dire Straits, Cyndi Lauper, Billy Idol, early Madonna (what you think of Lady Gaga heard she's related to Madonna or no that Gwen Stephanie who I love too, and Pink, then there was Nash the Slash, Joe King Carasco and The Crowns (my personal fav), 63 know the scene, eh? pretty well all that stuff, you know, hung out at the Blue Boot, Fryfogles). Oh, yah, by the way; I love music! Old man can jam with the best!) jj


  1. Wow! Like it. What a rollercoaster of a poem. And 1500 words. Is this a Poetry Bus record??

  2. You take things, don't you? This cannot be just too much caffeine.

  3. Hiya - have to agree with Bill what ride. When's the single out! This brought back so many memories of gigs attended when I was a lot younger. Amazing thank you

  4. My God, that's some stream of consciousness! How many second halves of sentences did you come up with? Free as a cuckold in a clock gone crazy? I am in awe...

  5. smoooth.. daddio!.. and completely mental!.. :-D brilliant!

  6. Definitely the longest poetry bus poem I've evah seen. Inspiring!! How long would it take to read out I wonder...

  7. Holy mackeral, sweet pea! This was a great ride! I'm in awe.

  8. tak-et lik-et is mon (channellin' Mick Jaggar here I think!)...Needs abit o' the ol' nip n tuck, eh?

  9. Holy Moses! Was there a "jar" involved in this, by any chance?
    I'm thanking you sincerely for the nod to Supertramp (great song!)

    If leprechauns were rappers on drugs, I think this would be their theme song. (I mean this in the nicest possible way.)


  10. You know I'd really like to know much more about the Irish "scene" in a more direct way, as in "being there"; a bus trip is definitely in order. I wouldnt resort to mere channelling o' Mick and Sinead at the same time! How the punk cultures tend to merge and then stay regional with their own talent pool would be an interesting study. Reading more Irish contemp lit helps. Got the "Idear" from Nuala's book "Nude"; a little rough edge expose; quite telling of the nitty gritty real life counterculture in land o' the green. Love to see how counter-culture works in a way; whether real or imagined. Would take some work as in; direct experience like a punk rock anthropologist! It would be "a bit o' work". Tha's for sure!

  11. Wow - am exhausted from reading it - amazing stuff though - needs some music in the background. Hope you will jump on the bus next Monday when I am driving it for the week.

  12. An epylion! A wild, passionate ride. Whew!