Sunday, November 30, 2008

With The Flood (first short story)

With the Flood by Jane Jones c April 14,2008

The faulty powerboats' motor was about ready to call it quits, the last attempt to save us from a freezing cold death. The water below was beginning to set into a solid frozen mass reminescent of the last iceage. The wind would complete our fate.

The Captain had continued to forward this creaking vessel as best he could, but now the hand on the wheel was not his own. As he tried to command the guileless craft, wave after relentless wave hit the sides of the boat. We were drifting sideways down the wide flooded streets of the northern town, once dry as a bone.

My frozen face, a contorted grimace of pain and fear. The bone-chilling had made it difficult to move or listen to the captains'orders "Why couldn't he just expire now and forget trying to save our souls?" I thought to myself trying hard to fight my mind's negative thoughts. If I could only save my hands from freezing and hold onto some desperate hope for survival, we might live.

This night had enveloped my mind, making it seem like this has happened to me before, endless times. Dreaming this dream over and over again. I could feel the wind sweeping around my bare ankles and sore achilles tendon. I had cut the back of my ankle getting into the boat, and now I just felt the pain. My sockless feet were wet and numb in my favourite leather clogs. This eerie sensation felt like a ghost of the sea coveting my skin and trying to claim its human prize. Who would be the victor tonight?

Why did the engine begin to stall right when we needed it the most? Certainly fate has a sense of humour, if not a comforting dry sense of bitter sweet nostalgia. The boat's engine sounded its metallic grating noise, painfully etching my cortex with a thousand regrets. With these plummeting temperatures and frozen ice waters surrounding us how could anything live, let alone the man-made idols of technology.

There must have been a 20 degree drop in temperature within the last hour alone. The frozen rain was heating my face with sharp stings and nettles. The cold frozen night had a thousand insults to throw in our faces. Our bodies were thread bare by now, barely holding onto life.

There was no town left to bail out, all was submerged under a sledge of ice, and the rain turned to cover my face with a shroud of ice from the cold, cold grave. Death was beginning to win.

Over the captain's frozen blue lips and over the outer layers of every surface on the earth the element of a frozen blue orb pursued us."Why did I get into the boat?" I asked myself in desperate anger. There was no one alive who could help us now. We were being ripped apart by wind, rain and the approaching sea swells.

( group...what should happen next?)With the Flood by Jane Jones c2008
The faulty powerboats' motor was about ready to call it

quits, the last attempt to save us from a freezing cold

death. The water below was beginning to set into a solid

frozen mass reminescent of the last iceage. The wind would

complete our fate.

The Captain had continued to forward this creaking vessel

as best he could, but now the hand on the wheel was not his

own. As he tried to command the guileless craft, wave after

relentless wave hit the sides of the boat. We were drifting

sideways down the wide flooded streets of the northern

town, once dry as a bone.

My frozen face, a contorted grimace of pain and fear. The

bone-chill had made it difficult to move or listen to

the captains' orders. "Why couldnt he just expire now and

forget trying to save our souls? I dont want heroic measures!" I

thought to myself trying hard to fight my mind's negative thoughts.

If I could only I could save my hands from freezing and hold onto

some desperate hope for survival, we might live.

Why did the engine begin to stall right when we needed it

the most? Certainly fate has a sense of humour, if not a

dry one. The sad engine began to choke from the plummeting

temperatures. There must have been a 20 degree drop in temperature

within the last hour alone.

When we needed it the most the frozen rain was heating my face with

stings and nettles of a thousand insults. There was no town left to

bail out, all was submerged under a sledge of ice, unmoveable in my

mind's analytic conclusions. The rain turned to ice on my face and

over the captain's frozen blue lips and over the outer

layers of every surface.

"Why did I get into the boat?" I asked myself in desperate

anger. There was no one alive who could help us now.We were

being ripped apart by wind, rain and the approaching sea

swells.

This night had enveloped my mind, making it seem like this

has happened to me before, endless times. Dreaming this

dream over and over again. I could feel the wind sweeping

around my bare ankles and sore achilles tendon. I had cut

the back of my ankle getting into the boat, and now I just

felt the pain. My sockless feet were wet and numb in my

favourite leather clogs. This sensation felt very errie, like a

ghost of the sea coveting my skin and trying to claim its

human prize. Who would be the victor tonight?

( group...what should happen next?)

With The Flood (group please critique!) ty!!! Message List

Reply | Forward | Delete Message #36143 of 36148 < Prev | Next >

With the Flood by Jane Jones c2008

The faulty powerboats' motor was about ready to call it

quits, the last attempt to save us from a freezing cold

death. The water below was beginning to set into a solid

frozen mass reminescent of the last iceage. The wind would

complete our fate.

The Captain had continued to forward this creaking vessel

as best he could, but now the hand on the wheel was not his

own. As he tried to command the guileless craft, wave after

relentless wave hit the sides of the boat. We were drifting

sideways down the wide flooded streets of the northern

town, once dry as a bone.

My frozen face, a contorted grimace of pain and fear. The

bone-chill had made it difficult to move or listen to

the captains' orders. "Why couldnt he just expire now and

forget trying to save our souls? I dont want heroic measures!" I

thought to myself trying hard to fight my mind's negative thoughts.

If I could only I could save my hands from freezing and hold onto

some desperate hope for survival, we might live.

Why did the engine begin to stall right when we needed it

the most? Certainly fate has a sense of humour, if not a

dry one. The sad engine began to choke from the plummeting

temperatures. There must have been a 20 degree drop in temperature

within the last hour alone.

When we needed it the most the frozen rain was heating my face with

stings and nettles of a thousand insults. There was no town left to

bail out, all was submerged under a sledge of ice, unmoveable in my

mind's analytic conclusions. The rain turned to ice on my face and

over the captain's frozen blue lips and over the outer

layers of every surface.

"Why did I get into the boat?" I asked myself in desperate

anger. There was no one alive who could help us now.We were

being ripped apart by wind, rain and the approaching sea

swells.


This night had enveloped my mind, making it seem like this

has happened to me before, endless times. Dreaming this

dream over and over again. I could feel the wind sweeping

around my bare ankles and sore achilles tendon. I had cut

the back of my ankle getting into the boat, and now I just

felt the pain. My sockless feet were wet and numb in my

favourite leather clogs. This sensation felt very errie, like a

ghost of the sea coveting my skin and trying to claim its

human prize. Who would be the victor tonight?

( group...what should happen next?)






Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:02 am


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