It's Lonely At The Top
The Big Top Keeps Getting Bigger and Bigger
As the World below keeps getting smaller and smaller
As the Sky above keeps hearts locked in there
forever shores to my mote
oh moted one!
you're
hanging around
appearing closer than the cloaked velvet night
to come one day
for us all
we must share
community of one
time one space
on your dime
my quarter i gave to you
the least i'd expect
from you
an answer
one day
who sent you to me?
It's been so long since
memories of remoteness
played into the fray
come back mote
the apple rotten in my eye
that place of no return
that torn piece of celestial fabric
clothe that clothed me once
now in sad decay
Remember dear
who says
NEVER
underestimates
those who choose to guessimate
the time of
arrivals and departures
the living in the middle
seems endless to a degree
for either way
they are as right as rain
if the train arrives on time
so love caught hold of you
the struggle was grim
like Jacob wrestling with the angel
who could succeed?
(Angels always win)
the trapped heart caught in a loveslide
rolling down
muddy water's hills
wont let me in for a minute of sin and sunshine
memories
puppies
no possibilities
no is to endless for me
no makes me say "why not yes"
in an endlessly negative universe
where no seems a curse
when hearts not crushed by
worldly matters i know not what
i meant to say
now that your intent is registered
i can burn away in hell
like you were remote from the beginning
of time
you played a part
and everyone plays a part
at the very least one
was saved for me
to relish in my humility
for erring when believing
you'd never
trade me for a car
For my heart to get back on track
i'd have to look where it's been and
to start the endless process
all over again
hearts tiniest pieces have questioned
every waking moment apart
as only the heart can do
recounts those feelings that seemed real
for the moment only to be
sealed, concealed and congealed
from the heart's open wound
As the heart cries
why did not love this being enough
to value the core of my being
as i thought you did
and then the turn of the knife
as my heart returned to
cupid's hopeful quiver?
the heart
whose pieces now scattered
lost forever by the winds of change
swept away
never to be again
only leftover sadness remains
in the heart stopper jar
where once stood a proud thing
a brave heart an intelligent mind
a fufilled destiny whose soul once
knew no bound
the heart
like a fragmented photograph
ripped out of it's place
it beats for hopeful recovery
of such sad missing fate
on the hearth's dying fire
from a mine's missing silver locket
so long ago now
so long ago the fire expired
only the memory stays
in each cell the heart
leaving the pitted stone cold
as this November day
as the ocean hits the rocks
cling to forever
he's not coming back
more and more a remote place
space further distances us
from healing gaps left
by the hollow promises
of eternity's connecting dots
and the need to find
those pieces of the heart all over again
As the heart descends
to the depths of despair
it finds peace
knowing it can never die
even if
lost to deception,
indiscretion
and/or many disappointments
soon all
disappear
and love amazingly
reappears
to set right the course of all folly
to make a fool those who volley
with the tenderhearted lover
the keeper of love's honour
Tonight
the pleiades descend closer to earth
for a chance encounter
to reexamine
or to reinstate
a state when why is replaced with "is"
no with yes
love never dies
this you cannot lie
soon the sun shine through the heart of the lonely
and all is as it should be knowing
all is love
and love was never really lost
it was misplaced
not disguised
not lied
not hidden
this is a hope anyway
the light saved our souls
Love needs
to understand why
lies made more sense
when so many were piled high
occulded
love could not see over the top
view the embattled rampart
of trampled hearts
the battle now below us
over before it starts
the heart never wages others wars
for profit or gain
love was lost then
paradise regained now
once love pours its healing balm
all stand clear
some make for the door
love so doomed
from the start
never had anywhere to go
once love's sting
quelled the sea's flotsam and jetsam
the last wave of smashing crashing touching
veiled vestiges of control in a busy world
seemingly for me now full of poisoned pill realities
lies and broken dreams to much to take
lying down in lilies waking up in hades
concealed half-truths, scandalous sham
(much worse than shame, but not at the time)
phoney smiles and half-baked schemes
off with her head
time to be resized
dont worry it'll be better soon
to make it all better
once known how bitter
the hate snakes around the hearts of lovers
paid cash
to cash in their souls
not here
not here
not here
way past gone
as the remote man
removes the shadows from my eyes
i awake from the heart's unconscious past
down far, billowy wind blows me back to
that moment in time
through those long
long corridors of my mind
past hollow sounding echoes
of hello, greeting
earthling lover
your nonsuch name, no name really
i give myself as many as seven
to recount all lost
on redemption's altar
no one to face shame's game
of control and motivation
to make me love's slave
once lost to defeat
Don Juanita
knows
how to tame the game
that breaks hearts
and dashes dreams
how all's fair
in love and war
not really
but it really is
like comparing apples to oranges
not the same thing
c'est la meme choice!
flashback lately
why i dont know why
matrix coined that
today i dream of you
in disguise
a thousand yous
a thousand beers too
and I found you
where time left you
in your life
where you really always belonged
or you'd be here with me
so I cant change this
it is more than coincidence
but the door closed
and the lock did not open up
and
there is really
nothing I could do
to make a dream come true
when earth makes leaves fly like they do
and always ever has been
one unique you shoe
that you left on
me doormat
this i cherish
as much as the cooking sherry
and little girl dreams
classic tales
please dont make all my knights go to gaele
i've got a new prince now
as i am now subdued
you can mess with me no more
(if that in fact is what it was)
as i wither away to dust
and sometimes collect dithering smithers
of recounted past
please
let me keep lizards
but i'd rather
have kept you
(but you didnt want to be the lizard king that post was already taken)
(this part is blank)
as those who knew
me those knew something
big
so big
it was kept silent for so long
what was it you're not telling me
from the distance hills near the
moore where the boars roamed
and we'd find puffballs
were larger than life
because they grew from quiet areas
subdued you
remote as ever
Hear me hear ye
let me know
if you're alive
how you are
do you sound the same
are you ok
did you have lapse
when you emotionally ditched me
that's ok
look i'm so over you
i wasnt really that into you
(does this make it better?)
if you're ever allowed to
please let me know
if you care or dare
and step out of your safe net
let me know
the truth
was it me, memorex or a calling
that's all
and i wont say no more to no one no how
finding the groove channel
the place where i can belong
understood
appreciated
longingly loved
needed
as for thee and me i thought you adored something
about my individuality about the me behind
the nuts and bolts
why then did thee so long go beneath to a place
it must be so much better than me something other than
a plain place where things were certain
the place where i stood wanted fable too
(to make the earth shine a little more)
nonstatic plea
a request with flare
a reasonable need
to not conceal
the truth any longer
masked like
the two louies
you chose the ladder
i chose the snake
you're high brow
i'm now too low browto talk with you
with friz and fraz and whacked out hair
i'm too low to know now
with earthen feet
i no longer soar
gravity set down
rules from above
like the gravel
still is being picked
out of my
how i once felt
when crashing
down around
a feeling that
3 percent creme
must taste mighty fine
the trippin' lights
got ripped
from the nascent ones
those finished first
whose to last when
you're already out
the door due to a case of
creaking cliques and one man rule
orange crates piled high
for all those locked in
looking out
from the other side
3 percent need us
like the rain that feeds
the tears that stain
the mitred mighty
septred sway
dictator's diplomat
a tip of the hat
the pain never really
went away
dont fret i'm working on
and understanding of all
that is so wretched
hoping that i could
make a bit of porridge
from the overflow i once knew
you had
i was doomed from the start
the first day
the day we met
you knew
exactly what
you needed to do
how to
break a heart
in a thousand pieces
like rod's stewart
of me ladies garden
earthly delights await
by the ruins
rip torn shaft of light
from the beacon of hope
we all are shipwreck
this lonely day's night
jj 24 10 09
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