Act I Scene 1
Cafe Brule Anytown USA/CANADA
Enter Amanda Sears(nerdgirl but pretty) and Dougie Fisher (Opie type redhead boy). Following on their heels are the "rents"; Amanda's prying folks who don disguise to follow their daughter around the town to protect her chastity. The rents have dressed in wigs and raincoats, very obviously they are cartoonishly cut-outs, neurotic types determined to protect heir daughter at all costs of life and limb. As chastity extremist go they stand out like a turnpike on a sore thumb in this minimalalist and trendy bistro.
Enter Dr. Hamilton-Bentley, Professor of Anthropology at Oxford University (on exchange during his associate's sabbtical for a year). Dr. Hamilton-Bentley is classically schooled but scandalous in his character.
On his arm is a blonde bombshell, Shelley Armitage, a fresh-faced hollywood ingenue who just happened to be in town to hooked up with her old friend of two weeks. She had met him on a dig in the tarsands in California, just south of Hollywood.
Enter Pathuria an exotic Amazonia with dark skin and long straight black hair, green eyes. She is at least 6 feet. Tyra Banks clone. Well-toned. Naturally she wears all black assesories mostly. Her manners are catlike and deliberate. Long nails. She is a dna cloned archeological dna find found deep in the Amazonia jungle. Her corpse found in l966 she is a secret government project, circa majestic type, ultra secret. Her powers are unearthly. Mesmerizing shapeshifter Panthuria's amazing powers are ultra-extraordinary. Her gifts are uncontainable and changing the world dynamics as once known. Pathuria is the new Pantegonia.
Enter Sammy Dean the local multi-media dj in the small town.
Early 20's he is loaded to bear with anything techy or media related, cameras of all kinds, knapsacks, a political science major he always gets the "scoop" and hopefully for Sammy, a woman, at least for a night of passion.
Dougie: Oh, it's good to get in out of the rain! Brrr it's getting cold out there. Let's sit in the middle Mandy, near the woodstove.
Amanda: Ok Dougie, whatever you'd like. Do you mind if I use my cellphone, it is time to call the rents to tell them I am ok.
Dougie: Don't look know Amanda but I think we are being followed!
Amanda: Why'd ya say that? You dont think I'm being followed by the rents again? I'm soooo embarassed Dougie, really, I'm really sorry. Just ignore them ok? What are they going to do? Spray you with a water cannon?
Dougie: Don't look know but I think I just saw your Dad and Mom walk by the street.
Amanda: Ah, Sammy, my spidey sense says there are at table 15.
Dougie: There's no way Amanda. You're hallucinating!
Amanda: No way Dougie, I think I recognize my parents in schlocky wigs and Colombo trench coats. If you are going to switch tables on me again, do the old bait and switch I'll rat on you and say that it's you who is hallucinating! I know that odd looking couple are my rents! Look at their ridiculous costumes! Come on! They are amature dicks. They are just bored. Please excuse my really wierd family. We're not normal, yah know. Stop playing mind games!
Dougie and Amanda sit down near the potbelly stove of this retro early colonial/fr. canadian barebones retro bohemian style trendy type establishment.
Dougie: Ok don't believe me. You're parents really creep me out Mandy! Don't they have anything better to do than to stalk us?
Amanda: You need help for this Dougie. What do you want to do. I dont care. I am going to eat; if that's alright by you!
Dougie: Do you want to have the colon special? It looks pretty good.
The waitress came over to the table. Chewing gum. Ditzy type.
Waitress: (said with thick Jersey accent) What'll ya have?
Dougie: 2 specials please and two double doubles.
Waitress: We don't do double doubles here bud.
Dougie: Ok then. Two creme two sugars. You got that sweet-cakes?
Waitress Lizzy: Ya, ok, I got it, two specials for the special people! How were your special classes today, special?
Amanda: Don't mind him, he thinks my parents are stalking him!
Waitress: That explains everything! I had a boyfriend like that and then I noticed something, he really liked rubber a bit too much. Lady, ditch him. You can do better!
camera/lighting switches to another section of the cafe.
Panthuria smoothly like silk moves cat-like through the frozen paparazzi of this minimal high-end establishment like a calm breeze before a tsznami. Mouths drop. All aghast. Silence. Panthuria has captivating powers which dazzle the most beign of humanity.
Suddenly all eyes are to the front door of the bistro. The only distraction; the chiming bell announces this superhero. Suddenly, from out of the woodwork other patrons are trying to clamour into the cafe for a Panthuria glimpse. As the people peer through the ceiling to floor windows hoping for a quick look at the most mysterious woman they have ever seen and the world has ever known. Some try to appear not too obvious. All are mezmerized by this woman. Pathuria invites all into the Club with a come-hither wink and wave of her hand to follow her; if they dare. Panthuria's entourage follows their mistress of the highheeled leather boots as if worshippers from an ancient temple. As Panthuria cooly scopes out a place to sit, she notices the Professor and his mistress sitting in the lover's booth, Panthuria nods in recognition to the Professor. Near the dance floor section n the jukebox mysteriously starts to play LaBamba. The waitress quickly arrives at Pantheria's table.
Sammy Dean: (nonchalantly sits at table beside Panthuria)Hi Pathuria!
Pathuria: Purrrrrrrrr! Grrrrrowwwlll.
Sammy: Oh I love it when you do that!
Sammy Dean takes out his camera and quickly Panthuria's rather large looking Mr. T like bodyguard blocks his moves.
Sammy: Oh come on, Panthuria, just one?
Pantheria's Bodyguard: I dont think so Sammy. Not today.
Sammy: Ok. Ok. I get it. Sammy smiles sheepishly as the huge bodyguard looms over Sammy's table.
Sammy: Thanks anyway, maybe latter?
Panthuria's bodyguard stands still with hands behind his back and nods slowly.
Panthuria purrs in a whisper to Sammy: After the show dear.
Camera/spot goes to the Professor's quiet booth where the Professor and Shelley are having a deep conversation;
Shelly Armitage: Oh Hammy darhhhhling...I have this most ABSOLUTELY wonderful nautical accesssory for you. It is a perfectly nauty bag to match your perfectly nauty ways.
Dr. Hamilton-Bentley: Oh you shouldnt have smidgeons. You really are too much! Give daddy a kiss (the couple kiss a smoochy-type Marilyn Monroe-type kiss)
Shelly: Did you see that woman at the front of Brule's? Do you know her?
Dr. Hamilton-Bentley: Well yes, indeed I do Shelly. I had met the Panthuria whilst studying Mayan archaelogy in Guatemalan. You do know she is from that region.
Shelly: Oh I thought she was from Brazil, or the Amazon.
Dr. Hamilton-Bentley: Shelly, dear the Amazon is in Brazil.
Shelly: Oh, yeah, I forgot! How well do you know her?
Dr. Hamilton-Bentley: Let's just say we've shared a bottle or two of the finest Guatemalan wine this side of California. Shelly, don't get jealous, we're just friends!
Shelly: I dont like it when my poopsie thinks I'm not the goddess anymore.
Dr. Hamilton-Bentley: Oh don't be silly Shelly, you still win in the blonde bombshell category!
Shelly: Oh that's better, a goil has to worry if she starts slipping soon she's barefoot pregnant and in the kitchen getting fat. You know that's not what BB likes, daddycakes.
Dr. Hamilton-Bentley: Dahling you have absolutely nothing to worry about, Panthuria and yourself have special places in my heart.
Shelly: Prove it doc.
Dr. Hamilton-Bentley: Shelly, never test the tester. I will tell you this though, Panthuria and my relationship is purely professional and platonic.
Shelly: Go on..
Dr. Hamilton-Bentley: Panthuria is just a subject of interest for me in a way. A textbook case come to life. Panthuria holds one of my major tenets to my thesis. She is proof of a successful experiment in living technicolor.
Shelly: What do you mean Hammy?
Dr. Hamilton-Bentley: Well, you see Shelly, Panthuria is, well she is the very first Amazonian princess ever cloned to date in the Amazonia 66 Project. A project which had met much success.
Shelly: You're confusing me doctor; what do you mean?
Dr. Hamilton-Bentley: You see dear Shelly, Panthuria is not like you or I. Her hybridization and isolated rna antibodies produced something akind to a superbeing, she has these gifts that are rare you know.
Shelly: I know, and they don't come out of a bottle of peroxide, either. Suddenly Shelly gets up out of her chair abruptly grabs her fake fur coat and quickly exits stage right. From the offstage her crying can be heard.
As the professor looks around the floor for Shelly's purse, he looks up to see the luscious Panthuria sitting beside him.
Dr. Hamilton-Bentley: Oh hello Panthuria. I didnt think we'd meet this way. Do you have the time for your procedure?
Panthuria: Prrrrrrr...yes Dr. Hamilton-Bentley..mmmmm John.
Panthuria grabs the doctor by the scruf of the neck in her teeth and walks out of the cafe this way. All patrons are stunned. Panthuria places the doctor into the back of her White Rolls Royce.
tires squeal in the background
lights fade to dim
Act I Scene 2