Monday, February 23, 2009

About my Religious Experience

About my Religious Experience

I am Catholic,baptized, confirmed but feel I am not spiritually accepted for some reason. I think it has to do with an incident going back to Gr 8 when I was promised to be able to read the 2nd Reading at Mass at 11:00 am Sunday.

To this day, my heart aches with regret as I was told I could not read the Reading as I was a girl.
I really felt like I was a "child of a lesser god". I dont see what my having to be a girl (now a woman) has or had anything to do with being able to read a sermon on the altar.

I guess I will have a hard time dealing with this, as I felt the way it was handled was not fair. I did not go back to the church on Sundays because I felt cheated. I will give respect to those of spirit, who are honestly deserving of that honour. However, I felt my honour as a woman (girl) was shaken and abruptly disrupted my spiritual centre. In this way I have a big gapping hole in my spiritual heart.

Today I feel that there is a cult to religiousity and this is a sin. It is something which makes me gag. I feel if the Monsieugneur was an man of spirit, he would have lead me to Christ, not away from him. Although, I did have remembrances of him, thinking he is like kin, being Irish, being like my grandfather, driving a caddy. But I felt that there was nothing that made him spiritually inferior.

The problem with religions is that they have a heirarchial system which I feel is sometimes a block to a true spiritual path. I feel that if I am to reach out to a religion and they reject me again, I might as well be called "Capstone" (The capstone the builder rejected became the Lords).

So I guess I am trying to say, I want to follow a religion but I will never be a sheeple blindly following a cult. A cult is obvious, as it does not teach from scripture, it does not bring forth a renewal of spirit or fellowship.

If I join a religion (I am still Catholic because I want to believe it gets better all the time, but it must try to include rather than exclude layety). I dont know if I could be a multiplicity of religions. I just dont like the word "religion" I prefer "spiritual" and "enlightened".

My happiest times in my life have been when I have felt totally accepted and loved. I feel the "zen" feelings I feel, being in the "now", achieving spiritual gifts, giving freely, loving dearly, laughing, being in the flow, finding the Truths, all these are important to me.

I want to believe that we are more than we think we are. That the universe is limitless. That we have a purpose and a destiny. That we can make the world heaven, or at least as close to heaven as possible.

We need to find out how. We need to discover our roots of our soul and find where we truly belong, spiritually speaking, and to stay in that wonderful flow as long as we can and to make it last as long as time eternal never ending soul life.

Sending peace and love blessings to fill forever your neverending divine universe of light and Love.


  1. To be fair, I guess religions are traditional set up to be "sexist" and not allow women to take the roles of priests, etc. To date this bothers me. It bothers me that there is so much corruption in various churches. I know we are all human, so why are priests different. I give respect to those who are amazing people, and I think we ALL are amazing people. What religion would be good for me?

  2. Corruption happens when "absolute power corrupts absolutely". We have to remember this always. I was told "oh so and so (the priest) doesnt like women or children". I never understood this as a child. Today I know exactly what this statement means.

    For example, I have a close relative who was abused by someone in the church (not naming names).
    I feel that this person was victimized by an organization that allowed this to take place because the organization did not have the means of policing itself. Perhaps than other religions, not affiliated could conduct realtime webcams or whatever and other security means to abate the fateful events that should have never but keep continuing because of ignorance.

    The evil that is allowed to foster has me questioning the heart of the spirit which would choose to ignore another's pain.

    Pain seemed to be dished out in an s and m way, as if they new this was allowed because it was never talked about, and this hidden evil, seethingly destroyed many lives unnecessarily.

    If webcams were in institutions, (all) this would negate the problem somewhat or entirely.

    It grieves me to this day to see how common evil could corrupt and destroy the beauty man's spiritual being. We must be proactive to stop any future indignities.

    The person I know that was attacked is now suffering from a rare form of inoperable cancer. I believe it was caused from repressed spiritual heart break from the wrongs to the young girl.

    How can I tell her parents things will be ok? How could she ever trust another religious person again? We must believe that we can stop this human weakness from happening.

    Maybe the inclusion of women into roles would balance this incepitous evil by allowing men to be true to their design and purpose. Would you have an answer here? At this point, I feel some people and some religions use the "spirit of religiousity" for political control purposes, and these purposes are nefarious, and from the evil one.

    We must protect the future innocent lives from this abuse, and we need to do it now.
    I just know it cannot continue without people watching out for the lives of the innocent.

  3. I did become a born again Christian and do pray each morning to the Creator who to me is omnipotent (ever present) and more present at times than other times. The creator opens my eyes to a new way of seeing. I can then see the miracles, wonders and signs of the path which I am on. I am then able to help fufill others quest to the truth in everything. Our souls know what to do with guidance from the Creator. The Creator, to me, is One and guides my heart through the endless Universe(s).