Sunday, May 3, 2009

Mr. Consciousness: Saviour From The Cold War

Jane: Hello Mr. Consciousness!

Mr. Consciousness: Hello Jane!

Jane: HOw are you today?

Mr. C: Same old.

Jane: That's good Mr. C.

Mr. C. What's happening with that new blog idea?

Jane: I'm working on it. I'm keeping it under my hat; for now.

Mr. C. Why is that Jane?

Jane: I guess it is personal.

Mr. C. What is personal Jane?

Jane: Mr. know that! Dont you? Maybe not...ok Mr. C. personal is when you
don't want to say, do or express something that is deep in the inner core of

Mr. C.: What would that be Jane?

Jane: Well, it is like this Mr. C.; let's say I am having a heart attack and I am
rushed to the emergency.

Mr. C. Sorry for interjecting Jane, but didnt you just get admitted to the hospital
for Tachycardia?

Jane: Yes, Mr. C. but that IS personal.

Mr. C: Could you tell me some more then?

Jane: Yes, Mr. C. I know you are drooling to find out the facts.

Mr. C. Yes, sort of.

Jane: Ok, it is like this Mr. C. First, I am rushed to the hospital with a racing
heart. I am not use to my heart doing the Indy 500, ok? Maybe a drag race or
two, but no heavy pure oxygen burning funny cars, ok?

Mr. C. Ok Jane. So then what happened, once you got to Emerg?

Jane: Thanks for asking and caring Mr. C.!

Mr. C: You're welcome Jane. I have always REALLY like you.

Jane: I know this Mr. C! Back to the story! Once I got to the Emergency room, I
was given a room in the heart observation station. I had to take off my top.
The curtain wasn't close and my boobs were hanging out for all to see.
Especially that guy from laundry. He really like the free-show.

Mr. C.: Is this what you mean by personal Jane?

Jane: Exactly!

Mr. C: Did you feel embarassed to have your boobs hanging out for all to see?

Jane: Well yes and no.

Mr. C. What do you mean by that?

Jane: Well, I sort of didnt like it because my boobs were not propped.

Mr. C. What do you mean by "propped"?

Jane: Well, you know...hey...Mr. C....this is getting personal!

Mr. C: Go on...

Jane...Ok, if you insist! Well, I am 50 after all. I have had 3 kids after all. Each
one having had access.

Mr. C. Sorry to interject! What is "access'?

Jane: What I mean by access Mr. C. is the fact that all three had ample time on the
then ample boobies. They all nursed for at least 6 months. Well I had to go
back to work with the first and I dried up, didnt like the pumping thing, so
it was more like only 3 or 4 months for the first. And about the same for the
second, and about years for the last one.

Mr. C: Wow! That's a long time for the last one.

Jane: Yes it was!

Mr. C.: Why so long?

Jane: Well it is like this Mr. C. We moved to a place where there was sulphur
air pollution. It was effecting my young babies health. We could not move
that easily, although we finally did, having suffered much consequence to the

Mr. C. So you are saying that you breast-fed (nursed) your last child for years
because the child needed immunity from your breast milk for that long?

Jane: Yes, Mr. C. I know it seems odd to most to realize this is a fact.

Mr. C. Go on...

Jane: Well Mr. C. Whenever I stopped nursing or began the weaning process the child
got sick, turned a pale white colour, and refused to eat.

Mr. C. Really...?

Jane: Yes. It was really something I could not adequately deal with. This is one of
the reasons I am not proud of my less than perky breasts at 50.

Mr. C. Why dont you got for lifts.

Jane: Mr. C. breast implants are great for some. I am a back to earth hippy wanna be
left over from the 70's. I worry I have distinct allergies to plastic, etc.
I really would like to be a natural as possible. I dont like the plastic look,
besides, fake is so plastic! But it they could do an all natural substance
I would think about it.

Mr. C.: Do you think that laundry working got off on your boobies.

Jane: I have heard of worse.

Mr. C. Really?

Jane: Yah. I have fallen and cant get up?

Mr. C. hahah@ right on Jane!

Jane: The thing that kind of bugged me is that when I told the person I was shy
they covered my boobies only to uncover them again 3 times. It was like
let's get a close up Mr. DeMille or rather Hugh Hefner!

Mr. C. So you really felt sort of like you were on display?

Jane: Yes, for some reason, I did.

Mr. C: I wonder how much they got for that money shot on YOUTUBE.

Jane: That's not funny Mr. C.

Mr. C. Yes it is.

Jane: No it isnt

(back and forth Lazarus battle with Mr. C and Jane rages on...stay tuned for the next installment)...Ciao!

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