"When you hang onto something for so long the grasp between fingers start to wear, you really have to wonder if it is worth it to hang onto something for so long. What if you just 'let it go'?" psychologist Dr. Susan Crimson asked her 50 something patient. "How can I let go of something I can't touch?" tearfully pleaded Diane Baton. "It is going to be a major breakthrough if you can just let go of all that is holding you back from being your authentic self, Diane".
Diane looked up at the ceiling with a vacant stare. All her life she had been trying to find the one thing that would keep her anchored to this world. Suddenly she is told to let go of "everything" to give away to the ether everything she believed she waa suppose to be; the labels; a loving wife, a perpetually caring parent, a struggling writer.
"Susan, do you really think I have to give it all away to find myself again?" Diane flatly spoke these words as she was coming to terms with their implications. "What you want me to do is to clean the slate and start over? How?" "Diane you have been through enough trauma in your life than most people. This doesn't mean that you have to be an emotional wreck for the rest of your life. You need time to sort out who you are from the rest of the world; from the roles you have been forced to play. In order to find your authentic self you must find yourself again.
Dr. Susan stated matter-of-factly. "Yes, it has been a long while since I recognized and met my eyes in the mirror and could say, honestly, that I really do love the person I have become, maybe it is due to self-imposed expectations, but I do believe that you are right when you say I must find out where Diane has gone. I have been out of touch with myself since the shooting."
Diane felt she met her words at the door but as yet could not open the door to let them in to her soul. "Diane, you have a realization that you are not the whole person you use to be, that is a start. What you need to do now is to find the time to reconnect, reclaim and restore yourself and feel the rightful dignity to exist in all the immediate splendour of the person of Diane.
These traumatic events in your life have triggered your brain to shut-down. What we want to do is restart the program, find the person hidden behind the self-defensive walls that have been artificially and arbitarily constructed to ensure your survival. These defense posturing is no longer needed and inhibits your person from living a full range of emotive experience. My best advise to you is to go on the retreat mentioned in the portfolio I gave you, complete the program and rediscover the Diane you thought was lost forever."
Dr. Susan got up from her desk and proceeded to open the door. "It is that simple and that profound Diane. I know you are going to love your experience in Sedona." As the doctor looked at her patient she smiled a convincing smile, her eyes appeared positively aglow. Diane got up from the madame reclaimer settee and found her wobbly legs were not as strong as she remembered. "Thank-you Doctor, I will take your advise. Can we meet again when I return?" Diane appeared frought with concern. "Certainly we may, Diane. When you return in two weeks we will discuss your future options."
Dr. Susan opened the tall and heavy oakdoor to the office, "Beth could you please schedule Diane for sometime in early October for a hour?" As Diane regained her shaky self she headed to the panelled bookshelf. "What's this picture, is that Dr. Dwayne Deiter?" Dr. Susan turned her head to look at the shelf which held her copious amounts of psychological journals, books etc. "Oh, yes, that is Dr. Dwayne! I went on a 2 week psychological convention with him. Isn't he amazing! You'll be happy to now he is flying in from Hawaii to be a guest speaker at the retreat in Sedona!"
Dr Susan flashed one of her famous "knowing" smiles. "Are you kidding?" Diane blurted, "this is a dream come true! I have loved Dr. Dwayne forever! He's brilliant! I love his statement "Be the all you can be in the forever moment of now; say yes to you! I have read every single one his books".
Dr. Susan looked circumspect at her patient "Diane you are going to have the time of your life, and in the process, you will be reclaiming your long lost self, not a bad trade-off!" Diane had become empowered with the thought of Dr. Dwayne at the retreat. Suddenly Diane's step became lighter, she felt the weightiness that had been her self-imposed mantel for so long lift. The clouds began to clear and the sun was shining again in her life. For the middle aged woman she felt her destiny was being steered towards the open sea once again, with new vistas awaiting her discovery. Her tiny feet danced around the room like Tinkerbell she felt she was floating on air. Diane was very excited about her new venture to Sedona.
Long forgotten now where the many mantels of burden she wore like a badge on her chest believing that this is the way all women would eventually become, fade into the background. Before the appointment with Dr. Susan, Diane felt that she was dying a slow, unstoppable death. Now Susan was sure things would begin to change in her life, and for the better. "Oh I am beginning to feel so happy again, like I did when I was eight years old!, Dr. Susan you are the best that has ever happened to me, thank-you thank-you thank-you!"
Diane had given Dr. Susan a big hug and was hugged back equally as powerfully. Diane grabbed her coat by the door and peeked around the corner "I'll bring back a new Kiopi doll from Sedona for you, and another doll, a new me, me with a capital "M". Woohoo!".
After Diane had left the room and the door closed, Dr. Susan leaned back on her leather executive chair and sighed a satisfying sound. Dr. Susan felt as if she had made a positive difference in Diane's life, and was certain that the Sedona retreat was going to bring Diane back to a more positive reality and the fufillment of dreams renewed polished and precise Diane would soon see the positive results of all Dr. Susan's efforts. "It is amazing what a little bit of positive reinforcement can do" thought to herself.