Happiness is a state of mind

Happiness is a state of mind
I want to know which state

Happiness I was
And then you took away
my all day sucker
and I had to look around
for a replacement
never like the original

Happiness I offer to you
Laugh at me if you'd like
Laugh at my foibles
Laugh at my mnay human failings
Happiness is a gas
of a reaction

Happiness is really to me
not acting like a sacrastic snob
finding happiness really means
your being blesses another
with Love bathed in kindness
of my real being
not some plastic version of the same

Happiness to you
Is not the same as to me
As you failed to see my value
as you looked other places
up the ladder you climbed
finding me down here
nothing more than a samll ant
to be spent
like squash
under the feet
gets to a slippery slope
without you
without the true you
before the fall
before the

i would have never left you
if you were true
you were not
I had to recoop, regroup
reexamining my state
my happiness quotient
which i thought a sure thing

nothing in life is a sure thing
only the lie, the hate
but if you or they who are not you could make all the unhappiness
............................................................shift
for but for a moment
you would make me so glad
maybe not return me to those times when once upon a time
I believed in your fidelity
your dog-like loyalty to my dog-like loyalty
but you know I knew you were a urban sophisticate
your were all that I wanted to be
you were my stair way to heaven
but you were on top of the stairs
and i was in the basement
canned fruit stored in a dusty old fruit cellar
better than being that clown that is there too
plastered in cement
his last drink
the Cask
of Amontillado


i will send you me lucky charms
from out of my vault of cups running over
but wait!
you see me as a fool? an idiot, a tool
for your purposes
I never knew
they just did not include me
once you figured you could get better
and saw the grass green on the other side
but who made the grass
you dont want to know
for you
you want to believe it was you

our philosophies differ much
you believe it is all about you
and I believe it is all about me
meet in the middle
where all the molecular weight goes
who knows, you might like it

why couldnt our polarities shift for a minute
so you'd understand me
and i'd understand you
then we could
we should
but we wont, not know, unless you really didnt mean
what i thought you did, did you?
did you laugh at me?
was I a joke?
a throw away bit of grief
for your sacrastic laughing pleasure
but that is not happiness
i was showing you true happiness
which you rejected
that is why
i am here now

to find if you grew
out of yourself
to make those connections
which are so much better than
life inside your head
when hearts meet
and I gave mine to you
they dont let go
unless they're not true
or circumstances surround
the barbwired heart
and you are lost in a drift
of endless searching for self
to find me
grab my hand child
and with my hand
get ready to grab
hold onto
that thing i once gave you
and never could be lost
even for a minute

jajo
before another drown man
is saved from
let go of the hold we think we have
on the inevitable chaos that one day
may be controlled by our hearts desire
merging as one
Universal Being
An Entity


weren't you one too, a long time ago now
and yet you think that you could sell me out
to the highest bidder for my long dead heart?


out of my eternal and endless
universe

since happiness amiss
would only give
false laughter
phoney gaffaws from another room
leaves me to think
it is only really really fake
and it makes me sick
i had to go
thinking i left you
not sure if you liked the lie
of this false

Happiness does not deny another's
neglecting the one who through all