Sunday, June 20, 2010

OTPB: POETIKAT is Serving Hash and Touch Down Jesus Scored One Big Burger!

~~~~On ThE PoEtRy BuS WiTh PoEtIkAt~~~~!
Hey!!!check out the back story here before you read the "Touch Down Jesus" poem. You've just got to get the gist of the whole thing first! -

Touch Down Jesus (CAUTION: Very Tacky Poem!)

It was absolutely not your fault
to be treated like fries with a bit of salt
All the time you just wanted to score
you didnt want to stop you heard the roar
the crowds went crazy; instinctively wild
you know you've always been the favoured child
you wanted to free yourself from the cement
do one for the gipper; we all know the lament
and sad lil' Johnny in the back bleachers
knew you were the best spiritual teacher

didnt know that you were so sad;
you certainly didnt look it; maybe a bit mad
who wouldn't be?
made so sloppily; undignified and hurriedly
such a sad, sad mockery of religious art
seems your artist/creator didnt give a fart
that's right he didnt think a tink
made you so fuggly without a snugglie
sensitivity made by some thoughtless rockabilly
who'd ever want to emmulate that; to bow down?
like a statue of Ronnie McDee
All kind of plastic-y

Who'd ever do that?
to make you so rebukingly, yes, pukingly
that one day you'd burn up in a flash fire
gone like dinner, like old burning rubber tires
like johnny's cash, it's good as gone
like a spectre from hell all can moan
this was a favour not a retort
now let's make way for the new Jesus resort
near Miami, there's one in Ohio; coming soon!

There where things are made more whole, pure and clean
Minimalist Art instead or Pop is king; a Rauchenberg
Who needs everything giant-sized, art and life should merge
no longer to be displaced there; never disgraced by lack of taste
no more to be lit up the night in a flash fire
like a sack of potatoes in a deep fryer
left til morn on the burner over night
fire and brimstone the only thing that was right

Touch down Jesus; I'm so mixed up and torn
all are feeling the same; sad and forelorn
but now as we look back; not in anger or shame
wasnt a lesson learned?
to decrease our collective pain?

Jesus What Would You do? WWJD?
"This is not an image I want to keep"
Trash it, and call me when you've got
Something I can be happy to approve
backed by the the Packers
and an affiliate or two"

Jesus is not half baked now
nor is he a man cut in two
truncated and sinking;
a ship without a Captain goin' no where
a man stuck in the unsettled cement
He is made whole in spirit mind and body yet
flesh being willing there's no sin in that
to go the way of flesh that flash fire begat
by lightening bolt from out of nowhere unbeknowst
life aint fair when it's not kind; that's that!

You only meant to say in a round about way
as your artist (who would do that? did they do THAT?)
friend who made you; I think not
though they thought
they certainly were not, Joe
though they thought
some fancy Michangelo
from Cinncinatti Ohio

Who did not think I'd say t'were
a might bit of a fright and oh so tacky
to have yourself half stuck into an eternal pool
only to become that infernal effigy and some tool
lighted by a wicked wick of damnations fire
Satan' bag of tricks when the old man's head was turned
from a lightening bolt from above; this we learned
it t'was not His hand that set you afire
it t'was man's own lust and man's unstoppable desires
it t'was the fact when nature not let to take it's course
She has a way of getting back;
like that gentleman on that pale horse

As the laws of attraction tacky reflects back tacky
we all now how life can get; really isn't that far reaching
even though your arms were up in the air: PTL ever preaching
What exceeds our grasp; held up high in the air by You
Plus, the smoke from being smoted caused a 5 alarm ring
must have made a pleasing smell to heaven and made the firemen sing

in the future please plan to rebuild
only the spirit stores warehouse
not a sculpure by some unknown
who seemed to be somewhat rather soused

Maybe a Burger King or the like would suffice
it would be best kept on this site
and the old touchdown Jesus out of sight
than in the future the lightening bolts can daze
can go flash all through the night and blaze
no one worse the wear; all would be grand
The Touchdown Jesus stays! And Saves the Band!
as sizzling sizzle burgers feed the middle
Jesus' is back working his magic on the griddle!

(I warned you...!)

I think the pics are self-explanatory. Cincinatti Ohio. Huge lightening bolt struck Jesus sculpture. Jesus statue named The Touchdown Jesus, Big Butter Jesus, B-Ball Jesus, Drowning Jesus, and Quicksand Jesus. What does this mean? again for more details please see Kat's blog: Poetikat! Thanks!


  1. WWJD? Have a hamburger! Happy Father's Day Dads!

  2. Never mind touchdown Jesus, looks like you caught the ball and ran and ran and ran.Chiccoreal,this is EPIC, the longest poem I've ever read! You sure got stuck into this prompt.Some great lines in there and rhyme of the week has to be Art/Fart.
    Well done!

  3. Wow! Can you breathe after that? I love the freeness and the associations and the depths hidden within.
    And quite a lot of the off-the-wall rhymes!
    Ronnie McDee/Plastic-y etc.

  4. Your tacky poem totally cracked me up. You got some wickedly funny lines in here, like that one about the Jesus resort, and Satan throwing bolts when the old man's head was turned. I liked this one too:
    "Trash it, and call me when you've got
    Something I can be happy to approve
    backed by the Packers
    and an affiliate or two"

    You gave us a jolt of comic relief.

  5. Oh, this was great! The best was WWJD. Would you believe I actually have a wacky cousin with this tattooed on his arm? Thanks for the chuckles, Jane.

  6. Thanks for your comments! Look's like we all getting Halo Burgers (do you know Halo Burgers is a place in or near Frankenmuth, Michigan(where Bronners Christmas Tree Store; great store BTW)- Huge store (EVERYTHING is huge in the States I like that idea! They have a special olive hamburger. How appropo. No I remeber It is in Flint (in like Flint, MI)!

  7. One thing that amazes me about the lightening pic is "who took the picture?" I mean that was a miracle too getting that 1/100000+ mil of a second flash lightening on film! How did they do that?