where i log i b
Monday, January 19, 2009
Emotions Need to Be Understood...How?
When someone says "I feel sad" how do we know, exactly, what that means to the individual? Likewise, when someone says "I love you", what does that mean? Does it mean "friendship love", surface good feelings or deep, intrinsic feelings of spiritual love. In other words, there are such extreme RANGE OF EMOTIONS that it is difficult to conceive of the exact understanding of that word "Love" (or other words and there meaning" unless we have a basic skill set for understanding emotion as it relates to the collective human animosa.
Emotive Reality: What Is It? Does It Exist?
Emotive Reality: What Is It? Does It Exist?
There is a reality for humans other than the tactile senses. The emotive/empathic response in the human is definitely tied into the hormone bio/chem response and does evolve, perhaps, from this defining reality.
However, hormones and biochemical studies aside, the human has adapted a set of various emotions to understand the world similar to the 5 senses. All of the 5 senses do contribute to the intactive emotive response in the individual.
My first study is to do a case study of my own personal emotions as they occur on a daily basis. My focus will be on how I feel and why. I will not attempt to "dramatize" events for an interesting case study/story! Rather I am looking at gauging depth of emotion or lack of depth of emotion primarily. The levels of emotional response will be graphed to see if emotional response variables are affected by environment, inherent internal properties, latent/intuitive stimuli, etc.
Once I have gauged by individual emotive (not recall as they occur) responses, I will understand, for one month, whether or not, hormones, or lack thereof could be a contributing factor to emotional response. Also, this may be later proved by blood hormone level testing in a lab. At this point it is a dictionary! Here goes!
Day One
Time: 9:02 am
Right now I am feeling tired, my nose is stuffy, which makes me feel itchy. My eyes feel red. It was hot in the bedroom. I need to sleep in a cold room. I feel "lymphy" not sure why, maybe overactive something or other. I assume my lymphy is caused from an overactive immune system. NOt sure why. Not sure if I feel this study is going to work. It may be a flop. I have my doubts (feeling). Somewhat negative. But will try to feel positive. I feel I must accomplish something in my life or I am a dismal flop (wonder where I got this feeling from?). Feeling hopeful, and will continue to strout that feeling. It takes work to be happy! It doesnt happen naturally when there are so many negatives in my environment, or at least, it may be, the way "I look at the negatives". Could feelings be manipulated to change said negative and would this be lying to myself, or deluding myself for health reasons. Let's go with truth in feeling, I have to learn to trust my feelings, no matter WHERE THE FEELINGS ARE COMING FROM. Got to map where feelings (or where I feel) feelings are originating on said subject.
Each hour will post feelings. ja jo 19 jan 09
There is a reality for humans other than the tactile senses. The emotive/empathic response in the human is definitely tied into the hormone bio/chem response and does evolve, perhaps, from this defining reality.
However, hormones and biochemical studies aside, the human has adapted a set of various emotions to understand the world similar to the 5 senses. All of the 5 senses do contribute to the intactive emotive response in the individual.
My first study is to do a case study of my own personal emotions as they occur on a daily basis. My focus will be on how I feel and why. I will not attempt to "dramatize" events for an interesting case study/story! Rather I am looking at gauging depth of emotion or lack of depth of emotion primarily. The levels of emotional response will be graphed to see if emotional response variables are affected by environment, inherent internal properties, latent/intuitive stimuli, etc.
Once I have gauged by individual emotive (not recall as they occur) responses, I will understand, for one month, whether or not, hormones, or lack thereof could be a contributing factor to emotional response. Also, this may be later proved by blood hormone level testing in a lab. At this point it is a dictionary! Here goes!
Day One
Time: 9:02 am
Right now I am feeling tired, my nose is stuffy, which makes me feel itchy. My eyes feel red. It was hot in the bedroom. I need to sleep in a cold room. I feel "lymphy" not sure why, maybe overactive something or other. I assume my lymphy is caused from an overactive immune system. NOt sure why. Not sure if I feel this study is going to work. It may be a flop. I have my doubts (feeling). Somewhat negative. But will try to feel positive. I feel I must accomplish something in my life or I am a dismal flop (wonder where I got this feeling from?). Feeling hopeful, and will continue to strout that feeling. It takes work to be happy! It doesnt happen naturally when there are so many negatives in my environment, or at least, it may be, the way "I look at the negatives". Could feelings be manipulated to change said negative and would this be lying to myself, or deluding myself for health reasons. Let's go with truth in feeling, I have to learn to trust my feelings, no matter WHERE THE FEELINGS ARE COMING FROM. Got to map where feelings (or where I feel) feelings are originating on said subject.
Each hour will post feelings. ja jo 19 jan 09
Proposal: Cognitive Research on the meaning and purpose of The Emotive and Empathic of Human Emotion/Feeling
Cognitive Research on the meaning and purpose of The Emotive and Empathic of Human Emotion/Feeling
This is a comprehensive, indepth proposal to describe in detail the immense range of human emotion and emorions contributioning to the human condtion. A series of tests will be conducted using humans as test subjects. Emotios will be gauged, catalogued, described by various methods for their authenticity and emotive response variables. Various belle curve interative modes will be presented, such variables as age, sex, minority grouping,psychological categories, etc to determine emotions as they relate to various environmental and internal stimuli. For all intents and purposes each test will be interactive with each other and will create a subject-dependent test which is more of a case study than simply graphing method indices.
The inherent need to study as per psychological study the way multiple variansts of human emotion are described as feelings of all kinds is indicated. The depth of said feeling(s) is critical to understanding of various conditions like autism, for example. Without an useful understand or a dictionary of emotion it is difficult to render conclusions about the indivdual variants of emotive reaction and the grading of and understanding of the empathetic emotive variables.
Those who feel emotions deeply do feel these emotions deeply for a specific reason; feelings have a connecting source and are grounded to the individual, such as a fingerprint. Some feelings are shared collectively, these emotions will also be studied.
Various degrees of emotive feelings "types" should not be so easily dismissed by the psychological community as "ill" or malajusted or maladaptive individuals. Contrarily, emotive humans have much more indepth or intuitive skills and are able to converge the two brains to recreate the whole human as per the way of human design. In other words, emotions are key/critical to a complete understanding of the human "animal" and yet, the definitions of emotion to date, are paltry at best.
Feelings have been, for far too long, easily dismissed, not investigated to any degree at all. There is no independent research focusing on human emotion as value mode. Not until the humanist studies (as per Rogers, Maslow, Abrahms, et al) have Psychologists created a safe haven for this very important research of emotion. Much more research is needed to understand feelings as they are a decisive communication tool and pertainent in all areas of the Humanities.
An Emotive Dictionary (interactive tool) has been proposed to allow others a greater reference and cognitive source for the range of human emotion as it is felt by the individual. This Emotive Dictionary will describe, in various modes, the scope of human emotion as close as possible to the unique emotional of each individual. Similar to a bliss board human emotion of the individual will be much more described and understood in various sensory techniques used to stimulate in the observer the subject(s) emotive response(s).
The need to understand various emotive levels and range of emotion and the various, reasons, latent feelings, precognitive emotions, individual specific formulations of emotion, etc, will be assimilated in this study. To make visual references, phonetic references, tactile references, and other references will simulate emotive reality in the observer. A similar understanding to this methodology is to look at the immensity of a herb garden. The levels and degrees of emotion are referenced to other sensory stimuli to configure the unknown variables of emotion to tactile sourcing. Emotions are the ingredients which flavour the human soul. Without feelings a human subject is a mere machine. The negatation of feelings creates an intellectual vacuum, it has only been recently that "emotional intelligence" has been studied to any degree. This proposal will help enrich our experience of emotion as it pertains to the human subject.
JaJo 19 Jan 09
. Feelings will be further studied to determine feelings authenticity or psuedo-authenticity and the reason(s) for these variables in the human subject. (possible future animal study) studied feelings dominant or are subjectated in the human subject.
This study will involve variations in sex, age, minority, etc for a full range of understanding of the emotive in the human condition. This study will lead to a fuller understanding of the intricasies of emotive feeling in the human as it relates to various like relationships, job performance, personal fufillment and growth, emotions as emotively portrayed or systemically
This is a comprehensive, indepth proposal to describe in detail the immense range of human emotion and emorions contributioning to the human condtion. A series of tests will be conducted using humans as test subjects. Emotios will be gauged, catalogued, described by various methods for their authenticity and emotive response variables. Various belle curve interative modes will be presented, such variables as age, sex, minority grouping,psychological categories, etc to determine emotions as they relate to various environmental and internal stimuli. For all intents and purposes each test will be interactive with each other and will create a subject-dependent test which is more of a case study than simply graphing method indices.
The inherent need to study as per psychological study the way multiple variansts of human emotion are described as feelings of all kinds is indicated. The depth of said feeling(s) is critical to understanding of various conditions like autism, for example. Without an useful understand or a dictionary of emotion it is difficult to render conclusions about the indivdual variants of emotive reaction and the grading of and understanding of the empathetic emotive variables.
Those who feel emotions deeply do feel these emotions deeply for a specific reason; feelings have a connecting source and are grounded to the individual, such as a fingerprint. Some feelings are shared collectively, these emotions will also be studied.
Various degrees of emotive feelings "types" should not be so easily dismissed by the psychological community as "ill" or malajusted or maladaptive individuals. Contrarily, emotive humans have much more indepth or intuitive skills and are able to converge the two brains to recreate the whole human as per the way of human design. In other words, emotions are key/critical to a complete understanding of the human "animal" and yet, the definitions of emotion to date, are paltry at best.
Feelings have been, for far too long, easily dismissed, not investigated to any degree at all. There is no independent research focusing on human emotion as value mode. Not until the humanist studies (as per Rogers, Maslow, Abrahms, et al) have Psychologists created a safe haven for this very important research of emotion. Much more research is needed to understand feelings as they are a decisive communication tool and pertainent in all areas of the Humanities.
An Emotive Dictionary (interactive tool) has been proposed to allow others a greater reference and cognitive source for the range of human emotion as it is felt by the individual. This Emotive Dictionary will describe, in various modes, the scope of human emotion as close as possible to the unique emotional of each individual. Similar to a bliss board human emotion of the individual will be much more described and understood in various sensory techniques used to stimulate in the observer the subject(s) emotive response(s).
The need to understand various emotive levels and range of emotion and the various, reasons, latent feelings, precognitive emotions, individual specific formulations of emotion, etc, will be assimilated in this study. To make visual references, phonetic references, tactile references, and other references will simulate emotive reality in the observer. A similar understanding to this methodology is to look at the immensity of a herb garden. The levels and degrees of emotion are referenced to other sensory stimuli to configure the unknown variables of emotion to tactile sourcing. Emotions are the ingredients which flavour the human soul. Without feelings a human subject is a mere machine. The negatation of feelings creates an intellectual vacuum, it has only been recently that "emotional intelligence" has been studied to any degree. This proposal will help enrich our experience of emotion as it pertains to the human subject.
JaJo 19 Jan 09
. Feelings will be further studied to determine feelings authenticity or psuedo-authenticity and the reason(s) for these variables in the human subject. (possible future animal study) studied feelings dominant or are subjectated in the human subject.
This study will involve variations in sex, age, minority, etc for a full range of understanding of the emotive in the human condition. This study will lead to a fuller understanding of the intricasies of emotive feeling in the human as it relates to various like relationships, job performance, personal fufillment and growth, emotions as emotively portrayed or systemically
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Feelings Are they More Real Than Logic?
How much faith do we place in logic versus feelings or vice versa? It is possible that we place equals amounts and weigh all stimuli equally, both logical input and feeling input. If so, how does Love play into the equation?
Love is without question a feeling. Robots do not Love. Love is also difficult to measure as are many emotions and feelings.
How would one tempt to understand love in they are the non-emotive type? How would one experience Love if they suffered from unknown form of autism?
Watching others love may be one way. Those who are autistic can learn much from emotion of others, how other react. But the autistic child or person does not feel Love, well not in the conventional sense of Love.
What is the conventional way of feeling Love?
Traditionally love is expressed in a deep feeling for someone that transcends time and space. This is defining Love. Love is not easily defined, ask any Ronamce poet.
So how, exactly can a nerdy man learn to really, truly love his wife or gf, significant other?
Love...let's go to the poets for this one. Emily Barett Browning...Love is not boastful, Love is kind, etc...or Saint Francis of Asissi...make me a channel of your Love, where there is hate, let me show kindness...etc. Yes, we recall and reread these essential lessons because they are important to us to have a deeper experience on the Love Plane.(Is that near Soul Train?)...
Love Love Love...All You Need Is Love McCartney/Lennon...I still remember the Grade 4 Valentine from Joe Conolley with those words written to me on it. Obviously McCartney/Lennon knew from love, as do most of the ardent Knights of the Round Table.
If any description can be given, then Love certainly would be a heart within a circle. This is a safe place, Love. It is a kind place. It is a giving place. It is a needing place. It is our destiny to Love. Why?
Love is the essence of our Soul. It is what gives us our human personality. Some logical people could feel that Love is merely instinctual. Love to the autistic man is a face in a crowd, knowing that face and loving that face. It is a personal imprint, an identifying mark, Love is a memory which cannot die.
How can Love not die? How can Love withstand Time, Hate, Evil, etc., etc.? Love is eternal because it is the imprint on our Soul. When we share our Love with another we are giving a "piece of me (or you") to another. It is this mutual interplay of soul-communication which describes love on the one constant in the Universe - Love.
If a person negates emotions because they feel they are not a positive feature of being human, they are not allowing the world's best form of communication to exist. When does one fall out of Love? We never fall out of Love. Once Love exists, it is there permanently, therefore, may all your relationships understand this.
If we give in to Love, are we weak? Sometimes we are weak when we give because we are vulnerable. If we deny Love, we may gain in other areas, but our souls (unless there is a misconnect happening)will suffer. We sometimes cannot Love another because of a relationship that remains unresolved, unrequitted, unfufilled.
We want to fly higher and higher in Love yet earth's gravity contains us. We are devasted when Love fails to continue with our Loves. We feel cheated. We feel there is an emptiness in a world, and actual heart-pain which defies explaination.
What if one Loved another but the other did not Love back?
This is a very sad case of unrequitted Love. When we are deceived into thinking another Loves us but does not Love in the manner or scope or completely, there are lost feelings.
How does one Love completely? It is not difficult to give oneself over to the emotion of Love. It is similar to a river flowing through two people. The energies converge, the seed is planted. Sometimes the seed was never meant to be planted and there was just a casual relationship. If one person thinks they are Loved and gives back Love, this could be a case of "Alienation of Feelings". I believe this is an old US law, not sure how or why it came into existence, but the feeling is that once Love exists it should stay with those people "until death do you part" or "forever" which ever comes first! As you can tell, Love is complex and not easily described or dispenced. Love can exists in many forms. Which form is your Love? How does Love change from Friendship type of Love to Romantic Love which supposedly "never dies". Do you understand where I am coming from? (pardon the dangling participle).
Love should last. If it doesn't, clearly the reason must be clearly stated, otherwise the spirit of Love will not leave another and would stay forelorn, waiting in the desert of waiting, forever blistering under the hot embers of the sun. Pining away until death. Not a pretty picture, and not fair to the jilted lover.
Jilted or Deceived? Who would ever deceive another at Love. What cold cold heart would do that? Who would knowingly put this hurt upon another? It is with absolute certainy I can say, this person does not feel Love, not ever. I feel sorry for this person. Either they have rejected completely emotions, or they are completely unable to feel this emotion. They may too, have been playing the power game control by fooling a person into loving them because they want to hurt another, or they are getting money or power from this said destruction of another. Whatever the reason, a person whom lies about loving another is a shallow and debase person. They do not deserve the time of day. Stop playing with my heart...should be told to the player and let the player continue their games, on somebody else!
Oh yes that person who did sue was the husband of McPherson, herself spiritual. I guess it is a matter of focus. Even a religious person can be lacking the emotion of love, either it is negligent (does not exist) by proxy (feelings never existed) or by hurt (ipsofacto). These emotions need to be understood. It really does effect our lives in so many ways.
chiccoreal
Love is without question a feeling. Robots do not Love. Love is also difficult to measure as are many emotions and feelings.
How would one tempt to understand love in they are the non-emotive type? How would one experience Love if they suffered from unknown form of autism?
Watching others love may be one way. Those who are autistic can learn much from emotion of others, how other react. But the autistic child or person does not feel Love, well not in the conventional sense of Love.
What is the conventional way of feeling Love?
Traditionally love is expressed in a deep feeling for someone that transcends time and space. This is defining Love. Love is not easily defined, ask any Ronamce poet.
So how, exactly can a nerdy man learn to really, truly love his wife or gf, significant other?
Love...let's go to the poets for this one. Emily Barett Browning...Love is not boastful, Love is kind, etc...or Saint Francis of Asissi...make me a channel of your Love, where there is hate, let me show kindness...etc. Yes, we recall and reread these essential lessons because they are important to us to have a deeper experience on the Love Plane.(Is that near Soul Train?)...
Love Love Love...All You Need Is Love McCartney/Lennon...I still remember the Grade 4 Valentine from Joe Conolley with those words written to me on it. Obviously McCartney/Lennon knew from love, as do most of the ardent Knights of the Round Table.
If any description can be given, then Love certainly would be a heart within a circle. This is a safe place, Love. It is a kind place. It is a giving place. It is a needing place. It is our destiny to Love. Why?
Love is the essence of our Soul. It is what gives us our human personality. Some logical people could feel that Love is merely instinctual. Love to the autistic man is a face in a crowd, knowing that face and loving that face. It is a personal imprint, an identifying mark, Love is a memory which cannot die.
How can Love not die? How can Love withstand Time, Hate, Evil, etc., etc.? Love is eternal because it is the imprint on our Soul. When we share our Love with another we are giving a "piece of me (or you") to another. It is this mutual interplay of soul-communication which describes love on the one constant in the Universe - Love.
If a person negates emotions because they feel they are not a positive feature of being human, they are not allowing the world's best form of communication to exist. When does one fall out of Love? We never fall out of Love. Once Love exists, it is there permanently, therefore, may all your relationships understand this.
If we give in to Love, are we weak? Sometimes we are weak when we give because we are vulnerable. If we deny Love, we may gain in other areas, but our souls (unless there is a misconnect happening)will suffer. We sometimes cannot Love another because of a relationship that remains unresolved, unrequitted, unfufilled.
We want to fly higher and higher in Love yet earth's gravity contains us. We are devasted when Love fails to continue with our Loves. We feel cheated. We feel there is an emptiness in a world, and actual heart-pain which defies explaination.
What if one Loved another but the other did not Love back?
This is a very sad case of unrequitted Love. When we are deceived into thinking another Loves us but does not Love in the manner or scope or completely, there are lost feelings.
How does one Love completely? It is not difficult to give oneself over to the emotion of Love. It is similar to a river flowing through two people. The energies converge, the seed is planted. Sometimes the seed was never meant to be planted and there was just a casual relationship. If one person thinks they are Loved and gives back Love, this could be a case of "Alienation of Feelings". I believe this is an old US law, not sure how or why it came into existence, but the feeling is that once Love exists it should stay with those people "until death do you part" or "forever" which ever comes first! As you can tell, Love is complex and not easily described or dispenced. Love can exists in many forms. Which form is your Love? How does Love change from Friendship type of Love to Romantic Love which supposedly "never dies". Do you understand where I am coming from? (pardon the dangling participle).
Love should last. If it doesn't, clearly the reason must be clearly stated, otherwise the spirit of Love will not leave another and would stay forelorn, waiting in the desert of waiting, forever blistering under the hot embers of the sun. Pining away until death. Not a pretty picture, and not fair to the jilted lover.
Jilted or Deceived? Who would ever deceive another at Love. What cold cold heart would do that? Who would knowingly put this hurt upon another? It is with absolute certainy I can say, this person does not feel Love, not ever. I feel sorry for this person. Either they have rejected completely emotions, or they are completely unable to feel this emotion. They may too, have been playing the power game control by fooling a person into loving them because they want to hurt another, or they are getting money or power from this said destruction of another. Whatever the reason, a person whom lies about loving another is a shallow and debase person. They do not deserve the time of day. Stop playing with my heart...should be told to the player and let the player continue their games, on somebody else!
Oh yes that person who did sue was the husband of McPherson, herself spiritual. I guess it is a matter of focus. Even a religious person can be lacking the emotion of love, either it is negligent (does not exist) by proxy (feelings never existed) or by hurt (ipsofacto). These emotions need to be understood. It really does effect our lives in so many ways.
chiccoreal
Miss Haversham Complex
Waiting in worn, yellow bridegown
Miss Haversham
Aged winkled and pruned
Waiting for her lover
Never to return
Stood up at the altar
of Love
Waiting Became Love
In the Desert of Never
Why did she not give up?
The fool groom-to-be
left the poor woman
to die
a worse death
One without love
As put on permanent hold
the bride that day
passions reigned
queen for a day
never
but he loved me!
it must be a mistake
he'll come back!
I must wait for him!
Hours passed to days
days to months
months to years
years to decades
without return
Love's Labour Lost
Tis the season
to change that dress again
passions-fire the world's asunder
all consuming knowing
Miss Haversham
Alight with Fire
Passion consumed her
It could not wait
that knowing moment
when with Love's Desire
All a fire
The flames died out
as did Miss Haversham
The world of Love
She did not give up
her embers burn still
chiccoreal
Jan 18 09
Miss Haversham
Aged winkled and pruned
Waiting for her lover
Never to return
Stood up at the altar
of Love
Waiting Became Love
In the Desert of Never
Why did she not give up?
The fool groom-to-be
left the poor woman
to die
a worse death
One without love
As put on permanent hold
the bride that day
passions reigned
queen for a day
never
but he loved me!
it must be a mistake
he'll come back!
I must wait for him!
Hours passed to days
days to months
months to years
years to decades
without return
Love's Labour Lost
Tis the season
to change that dress again
passions-fire the world's asunder
all consuming knowing
Miss Haversham
Alight with Fire
Passion consumed her
It could not wait
that knowing moment
when with Love's Desire
All a fire
The flames died out
as did Miss Haversham
The world of Love
She did not give up
her embers burn still
chiccoreal
Jan 18 09
Prune Juice, Vitamin C and an ANSWER SOON?
Writers may need prune juice when stuck in writerly ruts. Vit C is being extolled on the radio today. But 5,000 mg of powered Vit C a day seems so exorbitant! Isn't acidosis a problem at that level? Unless all the acid is taken out, similar to Ester C, I dont know. The way this Dr. Pinkus was describing Vit C is such amounts to cure EVERYTHING from soup to nuts.
We all want to stumble upon the instant heaven. We want the dream to be set on hold and last forever. We dont want to forget our first time, or forget that really, what are we waking up too, shared destruction? Shouldn't life be more of the the Creative Kundalini forces than the Brahman forces. Yes, I know life is full circle, that everything, good and bad is suppose to balance out. So this means, by this statement, "balance out of good and bad, etc" the duality of life, makes us live in Limbo. I am sure there is a way to tweak this balance of life's wheel into a more successful ratio and maybe (this may not be legal by life's balancing methods)create a world with less negative and more positive. You just know, like the shifting poles, it will one day "flipflop", but in the meantime, things will be ok.
It gets difficult waking in the morning. The dreams hold me back, take me places, wonderful places, heaven in my dream world. Although I do have the nightmare around that time of what was once my time of month, but now I am not sure what to call it. Stop month...slow death onset? How do I handle this next phase in my life? Certainly I am not getting up early for no good reason to wonder why here. It must be something I have to say, and fast, because I feel my "time" is running out. Well, time here, anyway.
Take it or leave it, we really do share an awful lot of similarities, possibily more than differences. We are so alike. By very slight degrees of separation our worlds. It gives me reason to believe we are more connected than we think. You know this to be true from your causal studies. You did cross that bridge when you got to it, you've looked at "both sides now", and have seen the cosmic egg, so what did you think of it? Any recall now of these spiritula "ouevres" would be most kind. I think you could have hidden information you are not telling me. That's your perogative to remain silent. There is peace in silence. This may be the balance I need to my world full of light, love and possibilities.
We cage ourselves, wall ourselves up, defend our "self" fortress. We dont let other's in to our world, hidden, alone we lie dormant. We become life's doormat. We take on the side of our brain which halts creativity. We need to open up to the other world dreams and try to recreate that fantasy world here for all to benefit.
If we did not believe in dreams (I don't mean the one about Keith Richard either), by dreams I mean, our wish-fufillment, our longings, the way we want the world to be, the way we want our lives to unfurl, create, setup, design. We need this. We need creative input. We all need creative input and each one of us to feel like stars. Not just for a day but for ALWAYS.
You cannot keep you design trigger finger on the throttle of love's design without having an input. Obviously, it takes a great deal of love to have lasted this long. It may be that there is more intrinsic things happening besides the obvious. Undercurrents of predestiny. Or just piddling happenstance? Tripping over things I must admit, I have a skill at that, but I'd really rather have had much more a say as to my destiny; the way I would have wanted life to go, and how it should be.
It takes a great deal of struggle and prethought and determination and design and arranging and coordinating and DELIBERATE CONSCIOUSNESS to create a world that we really want to live in.
First, it should be a place we can call home. Where we feel comfortable, not threatened, at peace with outselves and others. The world we want to inhabit should be powerful because it must use the minds of many positive thinkers to make it work.
It has to have purpose, intent, success.
Purpose? In chaos how can life have purpose, and what kind of purpose? Who's purpose?
Your purpose? My purpose? Our purpose?
We must get rid of "they" thinking? No closed doors. We are all one big happy brain feeding the cosmic consious world and recreating life by our projections of thought. Some are obviously better at this than others.
We really have to work on Purpose. The purpose for our lives. The purpose in our being, individually and collectively. We must assume we have a purpose. Let's find it. Step One;
Purpose
Outline what your purpose is
Is it; Spiritual?
How?
Is it Physical?
How?
Is it Mental?
How?
Is it all of the above? How? and to how are each purposes balanced? 33.3% each?
It is wonderful to have this time with you. I always said I wanted to write to you, back then. Do you remember this? Do I remember more than you? YOu meant and mean more to me than I ever did to you. Maybe this means I am more spiritually fufilled because I FEEL MORE and SENSE MORE or DIFFERENTLY than you. You cannot understand this. Unless we lied to one another our feelings must be as we said they were, and this gives credence to the possibility that you did and do care what happens. Not only to me, but to your world, to everyone's shared realities. Although each reality is different the similarities are strikingly similar.
Why was I isolated from your heart? What made you feel I was not "worthy" of your love? Not evenly matched, not perfected? What? Be honest. What makes you say I couldnt be all that and a bag of potato chips? What sidelined my career? Does this give you a good and powerful feeling, like god? Wouldnt that be just the opposite? You had to shun me? This just doesnt make sense, sorry. I really did not know you, no I did not. I just thought I did. How, did I go so wrong?
That carrot before you must have made you leave me, look other directions. I must have been a joke. A trade off? A replaced part? How did the human EVER get so relegated? You created the disconnect so you could be with a better other? Oh my, I will never understand this, and it makes me think...how much more harm man does to man (or man to woman) than anything else. Unconditional love should ot play favourites. What was the orginal intent in the "woo" and dump? Is this the "one night stand" mentality of a thousand million? Is this the concept-driven machine? Even beavers have more of a loving nature than man. They know love, as do muskrats and other lesser forms of life. Why is this?
Being dumped emotionally is one thing, and the hardest thing that has ever happened to me because it shook my world, made me feel "inefficient", "unloved", "vacant". It was a shock to not have the emotional feedback I needed. It created in me a vacuum, a lonely place which will never be filled. When you love and do not receive that which you give for years you begin to question your being; whether or not you are ok and will ever be loved in the way you should be.
But this forever love thing is so Victorian. It rarely exists today. People are so greedy and carrot focused on the greener pasture. Without improving the love for love cost. It is expensive and the most valuable thing we have as human beings. You may think differently. This is probably why we are not together.
Would I go back to a place where my entire world was turned upside down? Where I questioned whether I was good enough to love? Where there was emptiness, loneliness, defeat?
Probably! Just to find out how stupid I had been and why. I dont know if people can change. If events present them to make people do this or that. I doubt that. I wanted so much more for you. I believed (and still do) in you. You are everything to me. I dont want you to loose that feeling, those feelings that I thought you had but were not, (maybe?). I just dont know who set you up for the love sting. It seemed not a natural thing. This is why I am freaked out today. I really don't know what to nelieve, if I was totally deceived; you are evil!Giving false love is like a false prophet, the enemy's bidding. Why did you sell your soul?
I am sorry if I made you feel today. But maybe this is just what you need. If ever there is a time, I hope you could tell me what the score. Toying with people is cruel and heartless. It is not fair. I had given my all only to say (metaphorically speaking) that my all was not good enough, that I was not deserving. I could have been told why and to be let down gradually, or with thought and intent. There was none of this only cruel treatment. I do not believe to this day that I deserved this.
Do you know understand why I have come back into your life? I want to close the door on the raw feelings I have bottled up inside for so many years. The pain, the hurt, the broken dreams. I was so easily dismissed dispensed, and ultimately, in my opinion, soul-destroyed. It is a sad and lonely place and I want remedy. I want to be told the reasons why I was not loved. Why I was a laughing stock. What made me the enemy to this socio-political agenda destruction? How many people get destroyed in this way. Who organizes it? And why?
Because of the lies I would never be able to love you, unless you say why and you are sorry and maybe...just maybe, the hurt would turn to love. It seems sort of S and M though, and I am not into that. Only true love. So maybe it wouldn't work out. I wish it would have back then. But...nah..it wasnt suppose to be...BUT DARN IT...WHY???I am expecting an answer soon.
We all want to stumble upon the instant heaven. We want the dream to be set on hold and last forever. We dont want to forget our first time, or forget that really, what are we waking up too, shared destruction? Shouldn't life be more of the the Creative Kundalini forces than the Brahman forces. Yes, I know life is full circle, that everything, good and bad is suppose to balance out. So this means, by this statement, "balance out of good and bad, etc" the duality of life, makes us live in Limbo. I am sure there is a way to tweak this balance of life's wheel into a more successful ratio and maybe (this may not be legal by life's balancing methods)create a world with less negative and more positive. You just know, like the shifting poles, it will one day "flipflop", but in the meantime, things will be ok.
It gets difficult waking in the morning. The dreams hold me back, take me places, wonderful places, heaven in my dream world. Although I do have the nightmare around that time of what was once my time of month, but now I am not sure what to call it. Stop month...slow death onset? How do I handle this next phase in my life? Certainly I am not getting up early for no good reason to wonder why here. It must be something I have to say, and fast, because I feel my "time" is running out. Well, time here, anyway.
Take it or leave it, we really do share an awful lot of similarities, possibily more than differences. We are so alike. By very slight degrees of separation our worlds. It gives me reason to believe we are more connected than we think. You know this to be true from your causal studies. You did cross that bridge when you got to it, you've looked at "both sides now", and have seen the cosmic egg, so what did you think of it? Any recall now of these spiritula "ouevres" would be most kind. I think you could have hidden information you are not telling me. That's your perogative to remain silent. There is peace in silence. This may be the balance I need to my world full of light, love and possibilities.
We cage ourselves, wall ourselves up, defend our "self" fortress. We dont let other's in to our world, hidden, alone we lie dormant. We become life's doormat. We take on the side of our brain which halts creativity. We need to open up to the other world dreams and try to recreate that fantasy world here for all to benefit.
If we did not believe in dreams (I don't mean the one about Keith Richard either), by dreams I mean, our wish-fufillment, our longings, the way we want the world to be, the way we want our lives to unfurl, create, setup, design. We need this. We need creative input. We all need creative input and each one of us to feel like stars. Not just for a day but for ALWAYS.
You cannot keep you design trigger finger on the throttle of love's design without having an input. Obviously, it takes a great deal of love to have lasted this long. It may be that there is more intrinsic things happening besides the obvious. Undercurrents of predestiny. Or just piddling happenstance? Tripping over things I must admit, I have a skill at that, but I'd really rather have had much more a say as to my destiny; the way I would have wanted life to go, and how it should be.
It takes a great deal of struggle and prethought and determination and design and arranging and coordinating and DELIBERATE CONSCIOUSNESS to create a world that we really want to live in.
First, it should be a place we can call home. Where we feel comfortable, not threatened, at peace with outselves and others. The world we want to inhabit should be powerful because it must use the minds of many positive thinkers to make it work.
It has to have purpose, intent, success.
Purpose? In chaos how can life have purpose, and what kind of purpose? Who's purpose?
Your purpose? My purpose? Our purpose?
We must get rid of "they" thinking? No closed doors. We are all one big happy brain feeding the cosmic consious world and recreating life by our projections of thought. Some are obviously better at this than others.
We really have to work on Purpose. The purpose for our lives. The purpose in our being, individually and collectively. We must assume we have a purpose. Let's find it. Step One;
Purpose
Outline what your purpose is
Is it; Spiritual?
How?
Is it Physical?
How?
Is it Mental?
How?
Is it all of the above? How? and to how are each purposes balanced? 33.3% each?
It is wonderful to have this time with you. I always said I wanted to write to you, back then. Do you remember this? Do I remember more than you? YOu meant and mean more to me than I ever did to you. Maybe this means I am more spiritually fufilled because I FEEL MORE and SENSE MORE or DIFFERENTLY than you. You cannot understand this. Unless we lied to one another our feelings must be as we said they were, and this gives credence to the possibility that you did and do care what happens. Not only to me, but to your world, to everyone's shared realities. Although each reality is different the similarities are strikingly similar.
Why was I isolated from your heart? What made you feel I was not "worthy" of your love? Not evenly matched, not perfected? What? Be honest. What makes you say I couldnt be all that and a bag of potato chips? What sidelined my career? Does this give you a good and powerful feeling, like god? Wouldnt that be just the opposite? You had to shun me? This just doesnt make sense, sorry. I really did not know you, no I did not. I just thought I did. How, did I go so wrong?
That carrot before you must have made you leave me, look other directions. I must have been a joke. A trade off? A replaced part? How did the human EVER get so relegated? You created the disconnect so you could be with a better other? Oh my, I will never understand this, and it makes me think...how much more harm man does to man (or man to woman) than anything else. Unconditional love should ot play favourites. What was the orginal intent in the "woo" and dump? Is this the "one night stand" mentality of a thousand million? Is this the concept-driven machine? Even beavers have more of a loving nature than man. They know love, as do muskrats and other lesser forms of life. Why is this?
Being dumped emotionally is one thing, and the hardest thing that has ever happened to me because it shook my world, made me feel "inefficient", "unloved", "vacant". It was a shock to not have the emotional feedback I needed. It created in me a vacuum, a lonely place which will never be filled. When you love and do not receive that which you give for years you begin to question your being; whether or not you are ok and will ever be loved in the way you should be.
But this forever love thing is so Victorian. It rarely exists today. People are so greedy and carrot focused on the greener pasture. Without improving the love for love cost. It is expensive and the most valuable thing we have as human beings. You may think differently. This is probably why we are not together.
Would I go back to a place where my entire world was turned upside down? Where I questioned whether I was good enough to love? Where there was emptiness, loneliness, defeat?
Probably! Just to find out how stupid I had been and why. I dont know if people can change. If events present them to make people do this or that. I doubt that. I wanted so much more for you. I believed (and still do) in you. You are everything to me. I dont want you to loose that feeling, those feelings that I thought you had but were not, (maybe?). I just dont know who set you up for the love sting. It seemed not a natural thing. This is why I am freaked out today. I really don't know what to nelieve, if I was totally deceived; you are evil!Giving false love is like a false prophet, the enemy's bidding. Why did you sell your soul?
I am sorry if I made you feel today. But maybe this is just what you need. If ever there is a time, I hope you could tell me what the score. Toying with people is cruel and heartless. It is not fair. I had given my all only to say (metaphorically speaking) that my all was not good enough, that I was not deserving. I could have been told why and to be let down gradually, or with thought and intent. There was none of this only cruel treatment. I do not believe to this day that I deserved this.
Do you know understand why I have come back into your life? I want to close the door on the raw feelings I have bottled up inside for so many years. The pain, the hurt, the broken dreams. I was so easily dismissed dispensed, and ultimately, in my opinion, soul-destroyed. It is a sad and lonely place and I want remedy. I want to be told the reasons why I was not loved. Why I was a laughing stock. What made me the enemy to this socio-political agenda destruction? How many people get destroyed in this way. Who organizes it? And why?
Because of the lies I would never be able to love you, unless you say why and you are sorry and maybe...just maybe, the hurt would turn to love. It seems sort of S and M though, and I am not into that. Only true love. So maybe it wouldn't work out. I wish it would have back then. But...nah..it wasnt suppose to be...BUT DARN IT...WHY???I am expecting an answer soon.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Triggers of Emotion and Serious Pet Peeves
The breaking point. It happens when the expected expectations are not giving birth to the world we want. We all want to make the world a better place, is this not true. Better for all. This seems a huge feat. Definitely something we want to render, but we keep getting stuck in ruts. All our energies and goals and dreams extinquished because something seems to be "halting, stopping, thwarting, diverting, etc" our much needed success to make this life all worthwhile.
Do we have high expectations or low expectations for your life. How came some just sit back and watch it all unfold in a crappy way? How or what do you want to do with your life? Have you given up because of 2012, or is it 2013? Really that is just plain dumb. Where there is life there is hope. Don't give up!
I know people struggle today, not only financially, but emotionally, spiritually as well. Do we allow bad things to happen to us or do they just happen? Dr. Wayne Dyer said that if you take the last 8 minutes or so of your day before you fall asleep to think of positive things, then you will, by this action, positively produce a better world. Remember we make our world by our thinking it into existence. Everything we have ever made has started out as an IDEA first. Saying this, it is then with certainy I can expound upon the next fact; we make our world what it is; WE MAKE OUR REALITY, both individually and collectively. Please let's work on this, by thinking about human potential worlds before bed. Thank-you!
Really the control got way out of control this I do agree. However, I am not sure if all was "chaotic" before we developed a control of chaos. Chaos probably is just misunderstood. Given a bad rap. When we think of chaos we are immediately brought back to Get Smart tv show with Don Adams (now a movie with Steve Carrell, etc). So Chaos seems sinister to me. It is "non-conformity" "non-control" and maybe even "red commi" haha! Yes, our perceptions do make our reality and how easily those perceptions are imprinted and often wrongly so, and this is due to the fact the brain wants answers and it wants answers "now". The need to know is greater than the wait for the truth. And we have paid bitterly for this lack of patience and misinformation. Many wars and lives are lost because we cannot adequately communicate needs, methods and internal truths. In other words, we do not relate very well as humans. There is a disconnect, a misunderstanding and lack of emotional sharing of souls. What is happening here?
Could we find time to take the time to examine truths of ourselves and other. Can meaningful and real dialogue be opened up to all to freely discuss issues without fear or threat? We must be aware that differences make us richer, and should not be killing us. We can arrive at a happy medium, or we can improve and bring each other up to a higher understanding and purpose. We can communicate our many frustrations and come out on top, powerfully attuned to the Universe. Leg's be open to this universe and all that is in it (to quote National Geographic theme). cr gigiwhit
Do we have high expectations or low expectations for your life. How came some just sit back and watch it all unfold in a crappy way? How or what do you want to do with your life? Have you given up because of 2012, or is it 2013? Really that is just plain dumb. Where there is life there is hope. Don't give up!
I know people struggle today, not only financially, but emotionally, spiritually as well. Do we allow bad things to happen to us or do they just happen? Dr. Wayne Dyer said that if you take the last 8 minutes or so of your day before you fall asleep to think of positive things, then you will, by this action, positively produce a better world. Remember we make our world by our thinking it into existence. Everything we have ever made has started out as an IDEA first. Saying this, it is then with certainy I can expound upon the next fact; we make our world what it is; WE MAKE OUR REALITY, both individually and collectively. Please let's work on this, by thinking about human potential worlds before bed. Thank-you!
Really the control got way out of control this I do agree. However, I am not sure if all was "chaotic" before we developed a control of chaos. Chaos probably is just misunderstood. Given a bad rap. When we think of chaos we are immediately brought back to Get Smart tv show with Don Adams (now a movie with Steve Carrell, etc). So Chaos seems sinister to me. It is "non-conformity" "non-control" and maybe even "red commi" haha! Yes, our perceptions do make our reality and how easily those perceptions are imprinted and often wrongly so, and this is due to the fact the brain wants answers and it wants answers "now". The need to know is greater than the wait for the truth. And we have paid bitterly for this lack of patience and misinformation. Many wars and lives are lost because we cannot adequately communicate needs, methods and internal truths. In other words, we do not relate very well as humans. There is a disconnect, a misunderstanding and lack of emotional sharing of souls. What is happening here?
Could we find time to take the time to examine truths of ourselves and other. Can meaningful and real dialogue be opened up to all to freely discuss issues without fear or threat? We must be aware that differences make us richer, and should not be killing us. We can arrive at a happy medium, or we can improve and bring each other up to a higher understanding and purpose. We can communicate our many frustrations and come out on top, powerfully attuned to the Universe. Leg's be open to this universe and all that is in it (to quote National Geographic theme). cr gigiwhit
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