Dear Don John;
It has been a week since my last visit to our 'Room Above The Barber Shop".
I feel really poorly not having told you this earlier. I need to tell you this; I cannot tell you, but it is true, I cannot see you again.
Although my body aches for you many times daily, I can not longer meet you there at our special place.
Please do not cry...this is inevitable, there will be, there cannot be any more; no more of us.
Please do not try to find me, or call, or come by the house. We need to do this; you know this even if you do not recognize this yet.
Don John; there is no point in trying to pretend anymore.
I know that to see each other again will only prolong the pain.
Don John, I have tried, really tried, thought of all possible outcomes, but it always comes out the same; we must stop seeing each other like this.
You know, love, it will never work out. It just was not meant to be.
We are not meant to be together at this time...at least not in this lifetime of pain and broken dreams.
And although our many heated rendezvous trysts were the most love I have ever known; it is over. There is no turning back; I've returned the key to your brother.
Tell your brother thanks for letting us stay in the unrented room, for leaving the key under the rug.
My time spent with you will always be fondly remembered and always cherished. The love you showed me was beyond life itself.
To say goodbye is the hardest thing I have ever attempted to do.
Quitting you is like going cold turkey, coming off a strong drug. The craving is incessant, non-stop. A cruel reminder that I am just flesh in bone wanting to become something other-than flesh and bone. My spirit always wants to know you and be with you in this climatic way, to rejoice in the love that we are, and will always be.
Maybe done in small increments. in a low temperature oven I will be able to come back down to reality. A reality I never wanted to have to face.
This night's rain reminds me of our stolen moments Above the Barbershop. As your soft kisses caress my forehead. As I melted into your heart.
The love I gave you will continue on, babe. As certainly as you had carried me to the top of the mountain, came and gathered the broken pieces of my soul and just as gently put my shining fragments back together again.
How tender your skin under my lips, the way you swept me off my feet, carried me up the top of the stairs like a cloud watching over us or you were drunk on our love. As you laid me down in the sheets of fresh linen, as we penetrated each other's souls, united our spirits in love.
The soft pedals on the bed will forever remind me how romantic a lover you truly are, and will always be; we shall always be this love. Love never dies.
John, you alone created this romantic ambiance in my sad and lonely life! It was you who made me see myself as I am, to truly appreciate the love in all things. You made my life that much more than I ever thought possible.
Thank-you for making my world alive with love again.
The doctors say I only have a few more months. This horrible truth, has wracked my brain and wrecked my life. I know this a cruel blow to you more than me.
As it was our love's promise to each other to love until death do us part. And death is knocking and wants it's part of me.
Please do not let life's inevitable cursing create hate within the our heart of love.
No more ceasing to create this lasting love we have built a fine castle in the clouds.
MY finality is not our finality, not so with our love. If you always believe in our love; and I believe you do, than you will hold the wheel true, keep it from spinning out of control; stay the course' remember how nice is dessert?
Hold me love, never let me go, always be with me now in this special place within our heart? Remember me my love as I will remember you!
One day we will shine as bright as the morning sun!
To prove this to you, my love, I will make this blood pac.
The truth be known!
That our love is the love of the cosmic centre, going beyond this mortal plane of existence into heavenly realms of lighted love.
And will all human strength find yours in ours with inhumane strength and intention's resoluteness; we are wholly in love.
This resolve, this deep-seated sacred love will live on; all you have to do is believe it!
Watch for me in the neon, in the amber, in the magenta light.
As I will return each night to you.
Watch for me as the sun sets in the evening as night encroaches like death is doing to me now and in the early morning when I return to you?
Soon my final light of day is no more.
Please light a beeswax candle for me then, and remember our love is like the bee that flies so far to find it's honey.
Soon you will feel a new love underneath you, and I will softly touch your right hand to let you know I am waiting for you and all is as it should be. Find comfort then.
A blaze of my crimson heart, our love in the sky, in the walkways you still wander a wonder how these bright blessing continue, from a dead soul alive in full spirited love now.
It is our love, love which makes all this magic; the supernatural flows like water over you and you are covered with this divine love.
You will find many signs and symbols found in magenta crimson and amethyst.
Note the passing of red umbrellas, in the reflected rain, upon the sea this light from the red-blue shift where I now reside.
Under this red umbrella and barbers candy cane sweetness in this district where our love always comes together we will make love forever. As it never stays the same, to grow stale like love can here. Always growing in love our originality never ceasing
The genius which is our love last past the last reflected surface holds a lighted candle to any image that would imprint upon our soul.
This love has cut me to the core of me, right down the middle of where I am.
Profuse is the bleeding that never stops out copious amounts of love for you.
It is in every moment, every time I feel your surrounding love for me that I want to tell you that I remember us as we were back then.
All through the surrounding fog, which defines us now, on the horizon, the sunset sky lights up.
As this unearthly light plays on the rocks, crossing the many plains, rivers, lakes, seas and mountains to find us when we are most alone.
Everywhere there is a magenta crimson blue flickering flame, there too, is our heart my dear love!
So please accept these magenta red roses, the fragrance of our essence,
As I am caught in this most difficult situation, please stay with me in heart-form thoughts? These unexpected times will not conquer that which I am.
As I am a life lived with a completeness, a fullness of love that will never be fully filled here so I must go on...
At the remainder of the day, a gentle nudge, a soft reminder.
All that remains now is my heart, my love.